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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Going to Court to force someone to accept lump sum

86 replies

Rose7728 · 17/03/2022 10:24

Hi

Bit of a strange one and so far i cannot find any similar cases, has anyone had to take their ex to court to force them to accept a lump sum and get the court to sign the property adjustment order to get them to leave the house?

My partners ex refuses to participate in anything. They have frustrated the process in every way possible but we have kept calm, tried to negotiate via mediation and now finally we have arrived at the point of court.

without going into too much detail we have just been trying to give the ex the money they want however out of spite (and they have told multiple people this) they refuse to sign the paperwork etc so its now down to the court. They have stated that the "court does not decide when i leave the house" been 2 years of trying to get them to leave.

Anyone have experience of this? any advice would be appreciated. It appears the ex really aint arsed about money they just want to spite my partner.

OP posts:
viques · 17/03/2022 10:30

Depends whether the lump sum is enough to guarantee a property of similar value in a similar neighbourhood, close to existing schools and social groups. I wouldn’t budge if I could tell that in a few years time I would be severely out of pocket. I would be very careful about signing away my legal rights for the sake of a few thousand pounds waved in my face.

sunshinesupermum · 17/03/2022 10:42

Are there children involved? If so the court would probably agree with the ex. If not then I'm guessing a 50/50 split would be the norm rather than any specified lump sum?

I'd get this transferred to Legal, OP.

ChoiceMummy · 17/03/2022 10:43

A judge would scrutinise everything and ensure that they deem it is indeed a fair offer financially and not disadvantaging her. They may put requirements on the ex, but they maybe phrased like, "make reasonable attempts".

It will move things forward, but not necessarily at the speed you'd hope for or with the results you'd like.

Original poster
Rose7728 · 17/03/2022 10:58

@viques the ex does not have any capacity to get a mortgage and is looking to get a council place (due to disability requirements) there is 35k in the pot of which we have offered 27k.

@sunshinesupermum there are 3 children however only one below 18 who wishes to remain within the FMH hence my partner wishing to buy the ex's share

we are not looking to move anything quickly tbh just wanting to try and buy the ex's share to ensure the children do not have to move out of the house or for it to be sold.

The ex has agreed to accept the offer but refuses to sign the paperwork so hence me asking about if anyone has been to court to force the paperwork?

OP posts:
Vie8126 · 17/03/2022 11:35

@Rose7728 my partner has been forced to go down the court route with his ex. She has pulled excuse after excuse and changed solicitors 4x up to the deadline of submitting paperwork and even the day before court hearings. We assumed Court would mean she couldn't continue with these stunts but she does and gets away with it. He is now waiting for an FDR but if she decided to not accept any offer and forces it to final hearing she can basically.

Unfortunately if she is refusing to accept the offer your dp cannot force her. A court will require to see both sides financials and expect both sides to negotiate. If she is insistent on dragging your dp through the court process it seems she can however a court could decide to award her less than your dp is offering. At an FDR a judge will look at all the financials and decide what they think is fair but its down to the individuals to agree. It is all based on the parties needs, earning capacity etc and both sides are required to exchange a full detailed disclosure of all financial matters, pensions and property. Court is longwinded, mega expensive and can feel intrusive. My dp applied for court in 2020 to try to focus his ex to get matters sorted and its still not resolved. We're praying she will accept what the judge says is fair at FDR and accept the offer dp will then duly make to get the matter finished. However her intentions are not money driven but malicious so who knows!

Original poster
Rose7728 · 17/03/2022 11:45

@Vie8126 thank you for that, sounds a similar situation to us. We fully expect the ex not to file form E's etc however we will comply with all directions made.

In the statement of issues we have specified that we would like the judge to sign the TR1 as we know even if they accepts the offer they wouldn't sign it.

It appears there is no ramifications for people who wish to frustrate the process and be malicious, however we will ask for a cost order as there is lots of evidence to prove this (if they dont file etc).

It just seems such a shame to waste all this money when it could be resolved outside of the court process but it seems the ex is happy to cut their nose of despite their face. Im not even sure if they know that each party bears their own costs so ultimately they will end up with less than what we have originally offered

OP posts:
Original poster
Rose7728 · 17/03/2022 11:46

On another note i work in the court area and i am aware that the tolerance for this behaviour is being cracked down on due to the backlog of cases etc so maybe that will help, who knows!

OP posts:
Vie8126 · 17/03/2022 12:31

@Rose7728 there are no ramifications at all!!! Dps ex doesn't even comply with the court directions nothing ever happens. It makes a mockery of the whole system which is a shame. We've tried for costs but that's even more money that we just don't have. Dp is using direct access barristers for court and the rest were trying to navigate ourselves. Would your dps ex have to pay her fees or would she just represent herself? My dps ex has family paying all legal fees at last court hearing her bill was nearly 10k and they still keep paying it for her. Madness.

Original poster
Rose7728 · 17/03/2022 12:40

@Vie8126 It does indeed make a mockery of people just trying to do whats right and move on with their life.

We will go for a DA barrister if it gets to final hearing but we are living in hope that as the pot is so small that a DJ will not let it get that far.

We are not sure if they will be LiP or represented however the cost of solicitors etc will come out of the settlement pot so the more the ex argues the more they will loose and they dont seem to care. Such a stressful situation when all you want to do is ensure the ex gets whats due to them

OP posts:
Vie8126 · 17/03/2022 14:25

@Rose7728 unfortunately we have been told a DJ can't order anything until a final hearing they can state at FDR if I was the final judge on this I would order xyz but neither party has to be accepting of that. A direct access barrister will be around 5 to 7k minimum for a final hearing we've been told due to the amount of work. It's 3k for the FDR for a mid level barrister plus 600 for a 2hr pre court appointment ahead of that. The DJ has even urged both parties to compromise ahead of FDR but with no idea of what her finances are (never seen a form e or a bank statement from her) and an ever changing end goal of what she wants it's impossible to even try to offer to reach a conclusion. However I have good reason to think it wouldn't really matter he could say to her have the whole house and she would still refuse as its about 'finishing him' and causing trouble and stress rather than a a fair end result. Sounds like you've submitted the paperwork so will be 4 to 6 months for a court date depending on where you arw hopefully the threat of court will help her bring her focus to sign the offer.

Original poster
Rose7728 · 17/03/2022 14:51

@Vie8126 i totally feel your pain on this. We have the FDA in June but we know they wont file so guess that will be adjourned and a penal notice no doubt required.

Our solicitor quoted between 2.5k to 5k for final hearing, not sure if to use him or get a DA barrister? if it gets that far.

The ex originally asked for a sum which we agreed to but they wont progress it anymore. we could offer a million pound and they still wouldn't take it. They are more than happy to sit in the house paying nothing towards the bills providing no care to the youngest (which is why my partner will not move out) and to let the situation carry on. Its a living nightmare.

I guess we will know which way its going to go by 2nd of may which is the deadline for exchange of Form E's.

ive given up trying to work out what the end game or motive is. its obvs not money

OP posts:
millymolls · 17/03/2022 15:38

Ultimately the courts can decide to force the sage
They can also take over that same if one party is being obstinate and and obstructive to the sale

However. There is also the possibility that the ex would be awarded the house or larger share of assets than currently on offer and unless they will negotiate and ultimately agree out ifof court the only route you have is FDR

Original poster
Rose7728 · 17/03/2022 15:54

Would there be a chance of the ex being awarded the house of financially they cannot afford it/maintain it etc but my partner can?

We have already offered a 70/30 split in their favour as there are 2 other adult children living in the house which the ex has refused to house should they move out. Hence we are doing our best to keep all of the kids in a home

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 17/03/2022 15:59

Your partner lives with his ex?

Original poster
Rose7728 · 17/03/2022 16:20

Unfortunately yes they live in separate parts of the house during the week so he can look after the youngest (15) and stays with me the weekends. Solicitor advised to move out but he can’t cuz the ex doesn’t engage in the kids lives

OP posts:
LemonTT · 17/03/2022 17:06

All of them seem to have a rather daft compulsion to stay in the house. Given the children are adults or near enough they can deal with a move.

FWIW the wife isn’t going to get council housing if she is single women is she ? Why doesn’t he just sign over the house to her or move out and ask for it to be sold?

They can all rent together if that’s what it takes. It is about being together rather than a house.

WallaceinAnderland · 17/03/2022 17:20

@Rose7728

Unfortunately yes they live in separate parts of the house during the week so he can look after the youngest (15) and stays with me the weekends. Solicitor advised to move out but he can’t cuz the ex doesn’t engage in the kids lives
If he gets what he wants and buys her out, will he still be living with the 15 year old?
RedHelenB · 18/03/2022 06:08

Why doesn't the youngest move in with you too, they are old enough to make up their own mind?

Vie8126 · 18/03/2022 06:38

@Rose7728 to let you know the first time it was they asked for an adjournment the day before my dps legal team said it would look bad on him if he pushed ahead as they said they wasn't ready as they changed solicitors so he agreed. The second FDA no disclosure was done other party claimed mental health issues due to pressure of divorce and was unable to compile documents. She was let off again with no penal notice and the DJ scheduled an FDR which is in June with full disclosure 21 days before. We won't get it there will be some other excuse (she can't use mental health again now as that's been exhausted in child proceedings and she's had to prove she's well and has no mental health issues in order to keep their child) nothing ever happens to these people it's frustrating.

Oh the million pounds yes same here she wouldn't take any sum he offered it's become a game of nerve if I'm honest as she is doing it all for the fun of it. There's was a 30 month yes month relationship inclusive of a 13 month marriage. There's a house in my dps sole name that she never contributed to and that she briefly lived in but she left that she wants goes from the whole house to half the house to 80% of the house. We live in the house and have lived in the house for some time now. It's ridiculous. But the law says she has an entitlement so here we are.

Is the ex doing it to be malicious? Can she work at all? How long to the child at home is 18? What's the ongoing arrangements of the children so once the house isn't there what's the contact going to be 50 50 or eow?

Nidan2Sandan · 18/03/2022 06:42

I wouldn't move out if I were in her shoes either.

She wont get a council home, she CERTAINLY wouldn't qualify for a council home if she has £27k in the bank.

So her best option is to stay in the family home until forced otherwise.

Does she work? If she does then she may start looking at private rent, if she doesnt, it'll be tough to convince a Judge to do what you want as she will be the worse off party.

HollowTalk · 18/03/2022 06:53

Why are you offering 27,000 out of 35,000?

Original poster
Rose7728 · 18/03/2022 08:38

@Vie8126

Is the ex doing it to be malicious? 100 percent as shes told a lot of people that
Can she work at all? No shes "registered disabled" however that is not exactly the case (perfectly capable of going on the piss etc and living day to day life etc) had benefits reduced due to that

How long to the child at home is 18? youngest is 16 this year so 2 years

What's the ongoing arrangements of the children so once the house isn't there what's the contact going to be 50 50 or eow? It was agreed in mediation that it would be 50/50 and the child has the freedom to choose where and when they wishes to spend time

OP posts:
Original poster
Rose7728 · 18/03/2022 08:40

@Nidan2Sandan She wont get a council home, she CERTAINLY wouldn't qualify for a council home if she has £27k in the bank.

We know this but the ex does not. They were offered a council house however when the checks were done they realised they were on a mortgage so that fell thru. when that was happening they were keen to sort the financials but not now

OP posts:
Original poster
Rose7728 · 18/03/2022 08:41

@HollowTalk

Because they want half of a 15k pension so we were trying to off set it

OP posts:
Original poster
Rose7728 · 18/03/2022 08:42

@WallaceinAnderland

The plan would be for my partner and all 3 children to stay in the home, i will continue to keep my own house and at some point in the future maybe sell my partners home and buy together but were in no rush

OP posts: