Going to Court to force someone to accept lump sum

[Rose7728]

Hi

Bit of a strange one and so far i cannot find any similar cases, has anyone had to take their ex to court to force them to accept a lump sum and get the court to sign the property adjustment order to get them to leave the house?

My partners ex refuses to participate in anything. They have frustrated the process in every way possible but we have kept calm, tried to negotiate via mediation and now finally we have arrived at the point of court.

without going into too much detail we have just been trying to give the ex the money they want however out of spite (and they have told multiple people this) they refuse to sign the paperwork etc so its now down to the court. They have stated that the "court does not decide when i leave the house" been 2 years of trying to get them to leave.

Anyone have experience of this? any advice would be appreciated. It appears the ex really aint arsed about money they just want to spite my partner.

@Rose7728 if the intent is malicious you'll have to take it through the courts and let a judge decide. To be fair the 15k pension is similar value to my partners and a judge said its too small for any pension sharing so was to be put aside and is now not involved so could be in your dps interest really. 50 50 custody means both have equal housing needs and its a small total pot but the malicious intent is what makes it difficult. They won't relent and won't accept anything therefore you have no choice but to let the courts intercept. They will expect your dp to continue to try to negotiate throughout the process however that is clearly hard when you've reached the maximum you feel is fair. I also don't think your dp should move out the fmh he should stay there as difficult as that is. Good luck xx

[quote Rose7728]@WallaceinAnderland

The plan would be for my partner and all 3 children to stay in the home, i will continue to keep my own house and at some point in the future maybe sell my partners home and buy together but were in no rush[/quote]
So he is trying to make the woman accept 27k to give up her home and all 3 children and walk away?

No wonder she is refusing.

[quote Vie8126]@Rose7728 if the intent is malicious you'll have to take it through the courts and let a judge decide. To be fair the 15k pension is similar value to my partners and a judge said its too small for any pension sharing so was to be put aside and is now not involved so could be in your dps interest really. 50 50 custody means both have equal housing needs and its a small total pot but the malicious intent is what makes it difficult. They won't relent and won't accept anything therefore you have no choice but to let the courts intercept. They will expect your dp to continue to try to negotiate throughout the process however that is clearly hard when you've reached the maximum you feel is fair. I also don't think your dp should move out the fmh he should stay there as difficult as that is. Good luck xx[/quote]
Hi

Thanks for that, we did have an idea that the pension would be too small however we did offer 50/50 share.

Guess all we can do is wait and see how it all pans out.

@WallaceinAnderland So he is trying to make the woman accept 27k to give up her home and all 3 children and walk away?

No wonder she is refusing.

Yes i can also see that point of view, and this is why i was seeking advice. Its certainly opening my mind to other points of view, however thats not exactly the reality of the situation.

This is staggeringly similar to my partners situation.

He split up with ex +2 years ago. She's remained in the FMH, completely ignored all offers and requests to complete a clean break order which have been as much as the 70/30 split which was offered in this situation above.

My DP's sole name is on the mortgage, is ex lives in the FMH with their two children. She doesn't pay mortgage, never has done. Essentially living rent free.

Children are shared 50/50, my DP is still at his parents and has been since the break up. All of his regular contact with the children takes place at his parents house. He simply cannot move on.

Due to paying the mortgage on the FMH & CMS the best part of £800 a month goes to his Ex, so not only he can't afford to move on (rent or 2nd mortgage) he also can't save for anything either.

We're hoping that when he goes to court, the judge will grant the forced sale of the property. His ex has never completed any form E documents, but we know that it's unlikely that she'll be able to afford the house.

We also know that she won't get a mesher order granted, as during the last 2 years, she's moved on, got herself a new partner & moved her in to the FMH!! They get married some time this year as well.

The whole situation is sickening. There is not near enough repercussions to those who choose not to engage with negotiations.

For months we've been saying that his ex, so far has been 'winning' simply by ignoring.

@CoopeyMum what?! How did she get married?! Mesher orders are out dated and courts tend to not like them as it just pushes a problem down the line when the trigger is reached (the ex in your case has reached it by remarriage!!) and the person who has it normally the wife who is financial less secure is unable to raise the mortgage or funds to pay of the other party and the house ends up being sold anyway. Surely he can just pay the mortgage in lieu of maintenance? Glad you are pushing on to get it rectified. It's beyond frustrating isn't it being stuck in limbo.

So, the only thing his ex wife has done during the last two years is place a home rights notice on the property. During lock down in August 2020, the house was actually STC. However, she just stalled and stalled (exactly what she's done throughout the two years) and eventually the sale fell through, that's when she applied and placed the home rights notice on the FMH.

The homes rights notice is automatically dissolved by degree absolute (or via applying to the land registry) which is what his then solicitor suggested him to do. The house is solely his, and as I said before, she doesn't pay towards it. However, she does have financial interest in the property, plus it is her home (frustratingly so).

As soon as she got her copy of the degree absolute last May, it was all over Facebook and a date has been set, absolutely rediculous to think that she's happy moving on, paying no rent and living the life of Riley whilst my DP is still at his Mums 2 years down the line, absolutely no savings and all that money going out, as well as having to pay for the children when he has them also (nothing is shared, not even school uniform).

Unfortunately, due to her refusing to earn a decent wage, the current mortgage payments are offset against CMS. They didn't believe him when he asked for the offset given the length of time it's been.

Truly roll on court!

[quote Rose7728]@WallaceinAnderland So he is trying to make the woman accept 27k to give up her home and all 3 children and walk away?

No wonder she is refusing.

Yes i can also see that point of view, and this is why i was seeking advice. Its certainly opening my mind to other points of view, however thats not exactly the reality of the situation.[/quote]
What is the reality in regards to her children?

@WallaceinAnderland So he is trying to make the woman accept 27k to give up her home and all 3 children and walk away?

No wonder she is refusing.

Yes i can also see that point of view, and this is why i was seeking advice. Its certainly opening my mind to other points of view, however thats not exactly the reality of the situation.

What is the reality in regards to her children?

So by that statement what would you do? they are divorced the ex wants the money (albeit too much) and is frustrating the process to spite my DP and cost loads more money. Should people who are divorced not have the right to move on with their lives? 2 of the children are 18+ and the other is almost 16+ so are kinda independent when it comes to most stuff

@CoopeyMum

What an awful situation to find yourselves in. Its incredibly frustrating when one person does not want to engage/move on with life. I hope your court date comes round quickly and you can untangle the mess. Good Luck

@CoopeyMum that is frustrating!! Has the home rights been removed? My dps ex did that as soon as she left he cannot remortgage we cannot move and she is just dragging things out. She wants the house, she wants all the money, she wants 50k, she wants 80k again it is solely my dps house he owned it previous to meeting her and she never contributed but it doesn't matter she has an interest and no intention of getting is resolved! I feel for you.

One thing I would mention to all those saying above "it was solely DP's house" as soon as your DP married their ex it was not solely theirs. You and your DPs need to get past that to see the reality and impact of a marriage on "solely" owned property. I do not include you OP in that comment as it is clear you do realise the situation and are just being frustrated at a more than fair split being scuppered every time.

As someone else mentioned the longer your DP's ex maintains the status quo (ie remains in the property) the better off she is as she remains in what was her home with her family. I am afraid you will have to go to court and go through the process however long ot takes. I wonder of your DP is reluctant to do that in case due to her disability he may be ordered to pay spousal maintenance for a while too. Whilst uncommon these days there are still circumstances where it may be ordered.

@SeasonFinale yes we have considered spousal maintenance however with my DP being on a relatively low income (less than 25k) a year, plus the ex picking up between 1200 to 1400 per month in benefits we are hoping that it wouldn't come to that?

When all is wrapped up in the future my DP will need all his wages to accommodate the house and 3 children (already knowing that court does not consider 18+ however they still have housing needs regardless)

He won’t be expected to pay spousal on that salary
They’ve also been separated long enough for her to make a transition to higher income and the children are adults (var one who nearly is)

That sounds like he won't have to. Unfortunately it does sound like you have to do the long slog of taking it through the various stages of court. Are you/DP able to do as much of the work yourselves?

@SeasonFinale yes we are in the court process as we speak. Fortunately I work for HMCTS and I know the process, paperwork etc so we have been able to do most of it ourselves to save some costs. I’ve covered every outcome
I can possibly think of but it’s still going to take a very long time.

Depending on the ex submitting their form E etc depends on if we can claw back some
Of the costs. Hope we can as we have spent thousands trying to negotiate. Kind of wished we would of gone straight to court as we knew full well there would be no negotiation but we kept trying. Our solicitor thought a 70/30 split was enough but guess not

@seasonFinale yes I am aware as is dp that his ex has a claim to his property however for someone not to contribute a thing, live in their property that they worked hard for for 2.5years and expect to walk away with all of if or 80% it is relevant and frustrating for all parties. Yes she has a claim and is entitled to something however what that is a court will decide but I can state that it is solely owned by dp as it is a relevant fact.

@Ross7728 she won't get spousal your dp doesn't earn enough and she will loose £1 for £1 on her universal credit if she receives it anyway.

[quote Vie8126]@seasonFinale yes I am aware as is dp that his ex has a claim to his property however for someone not to contribute a thing, live in their property that they worked hard for for 2.5years and expect to walk away with all of if or 80% it is relevant and frustrating for all parties. Yes she has a claim and is entitled to something however what that is a court will decide but I can state that it is solely owned by dp as it is a relevant fact.

@Ross7728 she won't get spousal your dp doesn't earn enough and she will loose £1 for £1 on her universal credit if she receives it anyway.[/quote]
@SeasonFinale I also completely agree with @Vie8126 here as well. Of course she has a claim on the property, it's her home when all said and done. But as commented in the quote, for that person not to have contributed towards the repayment of the mortgage ever, especially in the 2+ years they've been sperated from DP. DP who then hasn't even had the luxury of living in his house he pays for it is mightily frustrating & why should she be placed on a pedestal with it all?

She has financial interest in the property, which is something that I mentioned from the outset. But as the courts see facts and figures only, it is my DPs house and not hers in the eyes of the law.

There needs to be more influence over people who do nothing!!!

Solely owned as far as the deeds go. A marital asset nonetheless and I do feel for all of you that there isn't a quick way to unravel each other's finances and the fact that covid has led to a massive backlog in the system. In many cases the ex (usually a woman) does benefit from the status quo. If it were the other way round and a friend's exH was trying to get them out your advice would be different I get that.

@SeasonFinale I do agree in most parts and that the primary care giver and children should be the ones who are prioritised. However how does that generally look when it’s the father and not the mother?. It’s unusual I know and In our case I wonder if that will go against us. Will the ex get more even though they can’t afford to keep a roof over the kids head but my DP can.

Either way our priorities are keeping the 3 kids housed which the ex does not seem to be bothered about.

I suspect unfortunately with the youngest 16 your DP may not have minor children when it gets to court and therefore wouldn't necessarily be taken into account!

I think perhaps mentioning to the ex that if it goes to court it is the amount available to be paid over that is going down. However I guess to while she is there in her eyes the equity is growing too.

Same situation here with my DP. He has parental responsibility for the children in the eyes of the court. He has them for 4 days out of an 8 day rota, so it really truly is 50/50.

Both parents need the ability to house the children equally, but separate from each other and from other family parties (my DP living with his parents).

It's so frustrating because she's not paid a penny towards the mortgage and has essentially been living rent free since they split up.

Couple that with the fact that his ex decides to work a mundane job on basic salary, lowest time in order to claim all the benefits possible. Morally it's all wrong.

@SeasonFinale if the ex was my friend I would be telling her that what has been offered thus far is fair because I am not a person that gets pleasure out of trying tk screw others over. I too was married owned a property jointly with my XH and we had 3 children we made our own agreement based on being fair yes I could have taken half of his pension, business etc but what's the point in destroying him financially he is my children's father and still has 3 children tk provide a home for as much as I do - despite him only having eow and half the holiday contact. I could have probably got a lot more if I pushed for a court to intervene however I settled for fair to both parties. The problem you have is we have all mentioned unreasonable women out to destroy exes for whatever reason which alters the status quo. If any of these exes were interested in being fair the op wouldn't be posting her dilemma. Therefore, no I disagree if it were a friend of mine I would not be saying 'take him for all his got' I would wonder why they were intent on dragging things out when fair offers had already been made and when their malicious intent was known they would no longer be a friend of mine because they may be mother's but not one of these women is thinking of their children only their own gain and oneupmanship on an ex which is pretty pathetic and petty.

Op, you could be potentially waiting 2 years for a final hearing including giving the ex time to balls about and delay matters by which point yes the youngest would be of an older age. However that would mean the ex is expected to maximise her earnings herself (does she work at all?) and her housing need reduces to just her obviously that means the same for your dp.

Keeping the children 50 50 does change matters, my dps friend was awarded 50 50 custody. They jointly owned a house. His ex wife moved in with her parents leaving him in a 3 bed house. She has had an occupancy order turned down and an appeal to that squashed and the father lives in the fmh. Her moving to her parents large house meant she met her housing needs whereas the father has no family to live with and needs the space for the children. The battle continues with the house and FDR but it can happen.

@SeasonFinale

I suspect unfortunately with the youngest 16 your DP may not have minor children when it gets to court and therefore wouldn't necessarily be taken into account!

I think perhaps mentioning to the ex that if it goes to court it is the amount available to be paid over that is going down. However I guess to while she is there in her eyes the equity is growing too.

We have tried to get her to see that the money will go down and i would hazard a guess their solicitor has as well but the ex does live on a different planet and refuses to listen to anyone. I think they are in for a bit of a shock when it gets to court.

@Vie8126
Op, you could be potentially waiting 2 years for a final hearing including giving the ex time to balls about and delay matters by which point yes the youngest would be of an older age. However that would mean the ex is expected to maximise her earnings herself (does she work at all?) and her housing need reduces to just her obviously that means the same for your dp.

The ex is registered disabled (however that is very debatable considering all the activities she undertakes) one of the issues is that their parents are constantly telling them to "take my DP for all they can" however the system does not work like that but there is no reasoning with them at all.

The system is not geared towards malicious people, but i do hear that due to backlogs in courts the DJ's are not standing for much messing around. I truly cannot understand why the ex is hell bent on trying to destroy my DP's financial future and spiting the children. Several occasions she has mentioned she "dont give a fuck about housing the kids" they are on their own.

Im not a mother myself however i dont get how you could be sol cold to your own kids. All of their actions in the past 2 years truly has indicated that all they care about is taking DP to the cleaners and sod anyone else.