Thanks all. Terrible night sleep!
Not heard back from solicitor it was an online enquiry form and not even had an acknowledgement message so maybe it went wrong. Will try again today.
Good idea to remove important stuff from the boot. I will do that today.
@Magentadragon I did bring up his mums but even I knew it was an odd suggestion as they really aren't close and she lives a distance away. Not really suitable for him to have kids there either as she has a small house and a large dog that isn't ok to be with children. Anyway, he said no!
I do think he might come to terms with the idea of him moving out over time because his only concern last night was for the kids and wanting this house to be their home. He didn't want them moving across homes. Although that might just be more control because he acknowledged he wouldn't sort the kids...his first question when I suggested him staying put was "How will I pay the mortgage and do the kids?" He is part of a club which means he is out a lot. Training or at socials or organising events, meetings etc. His commitment to it can't be scaled back easily (although not impossible!) and he won't want to anyway so he is acknowledging that he doesn't pull his weight with the kids at least.
I should also add that some of his work he does from the garage and has all his tools set up in there kind of as a workshop. That was the other reason I thought he might need to stay put initially.
I agree ridiculous for me to be doing all this...moving, having the kids and paying the rent but I feel like it buys us time and space. I know PP said these savings are a marital asset and I'm kind of feeling like I'm spending it so both of us can have this. The whole time I was saving it was intended for this purpose. He doesn't know about the money and I don't plan on telling him. Will tell him my brother lent it to me (this is believable as my brother could do this if I needed it.)
I swing between thinking it is a waste of money to thinking it will be the best money I ever spent.