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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Threat of court - children are adults

61 replies

Cadburyflakeicecream · 25/05/2021 07:46

Hi I’m not sure where to put this so if it’s on the wrong place can someone tell me so I can get it moved.

Me and my ex are divorced a long time and our children are now all adults. They have little to no contact with their dad.

When they were smaller he refused to give me his address once he moved in with his girlfriend (now wife) and when I moved house he took me to court to get my address as part of a wider action (I wanted both of us to have each other’s address and he refused to do this as he lived with his girlfriend.). Both of us were told to tell the other their address (sensible). I had no problem with that.

I’ve now moved again as I bought a house approximately 18 months ago. The children were all over 18 at the time I did this.

He is very angry that the “children” don’t want to see him at his house as his wife is there and she has been very poorly behaved towards the children.

As part of this anger, he is blaming me for everything and is threatening to take me to court to get my address.

I was just wondering if anyone knew how likely it actually was that I’d be forced to give him my address? Surely our connection has to stop at some point?

OP posts:
AlmostSummer21 · 25/05/2021 22:48

Why does he want it & why do you care if he has it?

Flowerclock · 25/05/2021 22:48

Does he know where the children live? What is stopping him from visiting their homes?!

What an arsehole.

Original poster
Cadburyflakeicecream · 25/05/2021 22:51

@AlmostSummer21. He doesn’t need to know where I live. He and his now wife have in the past caused a scene at my door. I have no idea why he wants it other than he says he has the right to know where I live

OP posts:
Original poster
Cadburyflakeicecream · 25/05/2021 22:52

@Flowerclock yes he knows where the children live and can visit them directly should he wish to

OP posts:
RedMarauder · 25/05/2021 22:55

@Aprilwasverywet

Have you posted about him before op?
OP posted on a different thread and I answered.
Original poster
Cadburyflakeicecream · 25/05/2021 22:56

Yes but I’ve never posted a thread of my own before at all?

OP posts:
RedMarauder · 25/05/2021 23:17

@Cadburyflakeicecream

Yes but I’ve never posted a thread of my own before at all?
There is no harm in you confirming that your ex is deluded.

Btw you should keep a record and notes of him doing this to you as you can report him to the police if he makes the threat more than once. (Well as long as he isn't part of the police.)

AlmostSummer21 · 26/05/2021 05:47

[quote Cadburyflakeicecream]@AlmostSummer21. He doesn’t need to know where I live. He and his now wife have in the past caused a scene at my door. I have no idea why he wants it other than he says he has the right to know where I live[/quote]
He's completely mad, but does he say why he thinks he has a right?

Some people are so utterly baffling!

rwalker · 26/05/2021 05:59

Tell him to take you to court .I'd love to hear that conversation with the solicitor .
There adults unless theres any special needs it's between him and them .Why would you even factor in it.
I can't see any reason why a court would force an adult to give there parent there address .
I think he's confused about last time you went to court for address . Total different now there adults .

PiuVinoPerFavore · 26/05/2021 07:57

Tell him to crack on with the court threat, I hope it's an expensive humiliation. I think he sounds like the person to follow you at some point to find out though so I hope you don't bump in to him.

Aprilwasverywet · 26/05/2021 08:58

Not sure why you haven't just blocked him. Haven't had my exh able to text me since dc were in secondary school!

user145678945648945645789456 · 26/05/2021 09:15

If he's the kind of abusive person that it sounds like he might be, then you may need to be prepared for the possibility that he'll follow one of the children to find out where you live - seeing as he knows where they live he could wait outside to follow them to your home, for one.

Keep a record of these messages from him.

LaurieFairyCake · 26/05/2021 09:17

I'd send the message

Lol
Fuck off

And then block on everything. You never need to have any contact with him again.

BlueLobelia · 26/05/2021 09:22

What a numpty.

I'd love to know if the other thread (where the ex was trying to take the poster to court for contact with his adult child) went anywhere. Does anyone know the outcome of that?

OP, ignore him. He's a wanker.

Original poster
Cadburyflakeicecream · 26/05/2021 09:40

I have him on an old phone that I don’t really use as I’ve upgraded. And he emails me. I should really just block him

OP posts:
BlueLobelia · 26/05/2021 09:49

As pps have said it might be an idea to keep records, in case he tries to harrass you or follow you etc.

But very best of luck.

RhymesWithOrange · 26/05/2021 09:52

Yes, just block him. The children are over 18, there's no need for him to contact you anymore.

Original poster
Cadburyflakeicecream · 26/05/2021 09:54

And yes I probably should keep a record. I have all the texts on my phone would that count?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cadburyflakeicecream · 26/05/2021 09:55

And the emails too

OP posts:
BlueLobelia · 26/05/2021 09:59

yes all those will count. :)

(I used to help DV victims with non-molestation orders in a former life. texts and messages are perfect.)

PieElla · 26/05/2021 10:00

Honestly OP, please stop pandering to this man. There's no need to

One final message. ' dear ex. We have been divorced for XYZ years and our children are all adults, capable of deciding whether they have contact with you or not. As this is the case, I do not wish to have any contact with you again going forward so will no longer be responding to any missives you may send. Any you do send I will consider harassment.'

And then just stop responding to him. Block on email, block his number. Keep his past messages. Just cut him off completely

If you feel unable to do this, it indicates that he still has some kind of hold over you. And this needs addressing separately.

Honestly - just stop now. Don't give this head space

Original poster
Cadburyflakeicecream · 26/05/2021 10:19

To be fair, he didn’t know I’d moved until about 6/7 weeks ago when one of the DC accidentally let it slip. So this is new in the last few weeks.

OP posts:
BlueLobelia · 26/05/2021 10:28

what a twunt he is. I hope he does not pressure your DC to tell him where he is.

Original poster
Cadburyflakeicecream · 26/05/2021 10:30

Yeah that’s kind of my fear too.

So far he’s just sending periodic texts and emails talking about his rights. All I’ve responded is to say if you want to take me to court for this then that is up to you.

But you’re all right. The next text or email I’ll respond and tell him he has no need to contact me directly and to address any further communication to my solicitor.

Should I block him then or just ignore, in case he contacts me again?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/05/2021 10:38

Don't reply.

He wants you to engage with him don't give him what he wants.

Filter emails direct to twunt folder and don't bother reading same with old phone sim - don't bother reading them.

Take back the power by 100% ignoring.

If you need to block to cope then do so.

ANY response rewards him so don't.

Let him threaten away in to the chasm.

Swipe left for the next trending thread