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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Divorce/spousal maintence

100 replies

BB1991 · 27/01/2021 17:50

Hi,

looking for people who have been through a divorce, my friend is going through a divorce and she seems to think she can make a claim for Spousal maintence despite him already paying CM and a partial contribution to the rent, She is refusing to work.
he is on a 5 figure salary.

what are peoples thoughts/personal experience with this sitatuon?

He has 2 children 1 on the way with a new partner and assetts to split.

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:50

It’s not up to me to agree or disagree. It was what was decided by the court. What a weird question.

CandyLeBonBon · 28/01/2021 09:51

Hmmm there are an awful lot of threads on this exact topic, stating exactly the same scenario at the moment. How interesting! Confused

Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:51

When this isn’t your circus, why are you so invested in this and acting such personal questions?

It’s weird. It feels like some kind of phishing exercise or something. It’s most most odd.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:53

@Cairnterrorist

my goodness.

Thank you for you time.

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 10:00

@Cairnterrorist

Like i said thank you for your time.

OP posts:
movingonup20 · 28/01/2021 10:01

I'm going through divorce currently. I get spousal maintenance (salary over double mentioned here). It's a private arrangement though, the court prefers clean breaks it's just we have chosen a different arrangement amicably. The court expects the non working spouse to seek full time work (pt if kids under 12) as does universal credit.

If there's sn etc with the kids there can be special arrangements, this is our scenario

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 10:07

@movingonup20

Its refreshing to hear a divorce being amicable, its shame they get so messy sometimes and witnessing it isn't nice at all especially with children involved!

Thats what i hear the courts prefer a clean break but on solictiors websites they encourage you to apply i wonder if it for the fees ect?
yet in peoples actual experiences it appears its rather rare,
(why i posted)

Thank you for sharing your outcome. :) x

OP posts:
Lonecatwithkitten · 28/01/2021 10:24

@BB1991 no I don't think he would have got spousal maintenance I think he would have got a larger share of the assets if he had child residency of any kind.
He had tried to put a nominal spousal of 50p per year in so that he could go back if circumstances change even this was scorched

Doyoumind · 28/01/2021 10:27

People on MN are well used to seeing reverses and multiple threads by the same but 'different' posters, OP, whatever attempts are made to disguise it.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 10:34

@Doyoumind

Okay well say i am posting on as same person who has apparently done all of these threads (i would say who has the time, but obviously people who are not working!)

What would be the point?

Its not looking good is it! better get job hunting!

?

i can assure you i am not the same poster who keeps apparently posting ( i have only seen one that sally lady?)

OP posts:
Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 10:37

@Lonecatwithkitten

Ahh I see,

I have only just heard about this so Ex W/H can put a claim in for 50p/£1 a year just to keep a foot in the door?!

Surely courts do not accept that!?
(my opinion again, but i think it is so wrong)

OP posts:
Lorieandrews · 28/01/2021 10:41

@BB1991

Salary of 40,000/50,000 once all of assets are sold/divided?

and the facts i can give are as stated and she is refusing to go to work. She expects him to not have any house hold bills or any bills for himself. and atleast 3,000 a month?

Ha. On 50k if he pays her bills. His bills. He won’t gave 3k a month left!!

50k isn’t enough for that

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 10:57

@Lorieandrews

Yeah thats my point! its madness

OP posts:
Lorieandrews · 28/01/2021 11:05

It is.

I do know someone who was given spousal support. But he earns around 8.7 mil.

It cost hundreds of thousands to split it though. But they could easily afford that

Lonecatwithkitten · 28/01/2021 12:46

@BB1991 in my case it was thrown out, but it is a possible tactic. But court is expensive she could spend 20K to be told no. Or if she gets the 50p spousal and then tries to go back has to spend again.
My solicitor said it is only really used where there is a reasonable chance that a salary could dramatically change and have been due to spouses contribution during marriage. So supporting someone whilst setting up a business and it looks like the business could go Stella in the short term.

chillibeansauce · 31/01/2021 07:08

[quote BB1991]@chillibeansauce

Oh wow i thought a salary that high would of guranteed it?

Was your child at a certain age where you were expected to work?

(if you dont mind answering)
I am surprised your solicitor said that i thought they would of encouraged it

x[/quote]
Together since 2013. We were married in 2016. DC born in 2019. I could have pursued maintenance but it's very rare these days and taking him to court would have cost about £25 k, honestly I'm 43. I will go back to work full time when DC reaches school age. I just wanted out so accepted lump sum which I'm using to renovate a house I've purchased with the lump sum.

PollyGray · 31/01/2021 07:24

I had SM when I divorced but our circumstances were different in that I was working FT, we had adolescent child and had been married a long time. The SM (which was in addition to the division of marital assets and CM) was paid monthly to me until the child was 18. This was 2011.

I could've survived without SM but as I was older than him, and had supported him through his training whilst working myself, it gave me some wiggle room to adjust to future alone.

MotherExtraordinaire · 31/01/2021 07:47

Is this the reverse of that very popular thread last week about SM?

Original poster
BB1991 · 31/01/2021 10:25

@MotherExtraordinaire
Yes exactly the polar opposite!

OP posts:
Original poster
BB1991 · 31/01/2021 10:33

@PollyGray
Thank you for sharing your experience
🙂x

OP posts:
Frankola · 03/02/2021 21:32

Is it just me who gets infuriated by women who refuse to work and expect their ex husbands to fund them?

I was brought up to want to work and make my own money - as well as to have drive, self respect and pride.

I swear I'm not a bra burning feminist or anything like that but it really frustrates me to read this stuff!

If your friend is capable of working she should be doing so to pay her own bills instead of expecting her ex to do so.

Rant over Blush Blush

Original poster
BB1991 · 03/02/2021 23:23

@Frankola

I have also done the same as you yes I have worked since my little one was a baby! With no other financial help so I am with you on this one.

I think with younger children when the father can help until in full time school ect is only personally but to expect to be funded for a lift time is ridiculous!

OP posts:
Frankola · 04/02/2021 06:11

@bb1991 I totally agree that men should provide child maintenance and money for their kids. But to expect your ex husband to fund your personal lifestyle so you don't have to work is sheer madness.

I put that bit down to entitlement and laziness to be honest Confused

Original poster
BB1991 · 04/02/2021 16:05

@Frankola

Completely agree!

the world is changing!
finally

OP posts:
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