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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Divorce/spousal maintence

100 replies

BB1991 · 27/01/2021 17:50

Hi,

looking for people who have been through a divorce, my friend is going through a divorce and she seems to think she can make a claim for Spousal maintence despite him already paying CM and a partial contribution to the rent, She is refusing to work.
he is on a 5 figure salary.

what are peoples thoughts/personal experience with this sitatuon?

He has 2 children 1 on the way with a new partner and assetts to split.

OP posts:
Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 08:35

@Cairnterrorist
If i thought they were similar enough i would not of posted the thread.

I wanted a different view on it, not from a women saying she is entitled for the rest of her life via an ex spouse.

I believe i am getting those views and other peoples experiences like i wanted. apart from these comments.

OP posts:
chillibeansauce · 28/01/2021 08:37

Spousal maintenance is extremely rare. My soon to be exh was on £200k annually and we had one DC. My solicitor said I had very little chance of spousal maintenance.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 08:41

@TeaOneSugar

Yes that us understandable and makes alot of sense.

Thank you for that information :)

OP posts:
Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 08:43

@chillibeansauce

Oh wow i thought a salary that high would of guranteed it?

Was your child at a certain age where you were expected to work?

(if you dont mind answering)
I am surprised your solicitor said that i thought they would of encouraged it

x

OP posts:
NewYearHere20 · 28/01/2021 08:56

@BB1991, The above thread that's been linked on here may not be exactly the same circumstances your friend is in. But it is similar enough I think for you to get the general gist of the Mumsnet collective advice. I don't think it was necessary to open a separate thread.

If your friend is insistent she wants to claim SM from her ex - she will need to engage a solicitor - only really they will be able to get to the bottom of what she's likely to be awarded.

All the comments on an internet thread in the world are not going to help her achieve her goal.

VinterKvinna · 28/01/2021 08:56

[quote BB1991]@Doyoumind

Hiya, again this is not about me and i started this thread because i couldnt find relevant information on this site, i was just interested in other peoples opinions/personal experiences.
Do you have the link to the other thread??

thank you x[/quote]
The 5th reply to you was the post, and its here 3 times when you posted this

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:07

@NewYearHere20

Thank you for your comment,

I did not think so hence the new thread but thank your for your opinion/advice.

Not looking to achieve a goal as stated many times just looking to get a non bias opinion on it.

Thanks again :)

OP posts:
Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:09

@VinterKvinna

Forgive me for thinking there may be more than one link! :)

enjoy the rest of your day and thank you for your opinion/time out of your day to comment :)

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:10

Didn’t you read the linked thread?

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:18

@Cairnterrorist

Yeah i just saw people attacking her/mocking her for not wanting to go to work and expect her life to be paid for. (again agree 100% this should not be the case!)

This is more of a thread where people shouldnt be attacking each other for asking for information!
I am not claiming SM nor am i going through a divorce i am just trying to gather as much info as possible as i have stated now multiple times.

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:22

She’s unlikely to get spousal maintenance. As the other thread indicated clearly.

I’m confused why your friend can’t work the internet and needs you to post for them. They need to give much more information, which obvious as just a friend you won’t be party to.

Such as, for example, salary of £40-50,000 once all assets have been divided - this doesn’t make sense because your salary is your renumeration from your job and has nothing to with division of assets in divorce.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:23

@user194729573

I have only just understood why you said this! i didnt see the ladies name was sally on the other thread.

But no definitley not my friend i would also be telling her she is ridiculous and to start job hunting. Living of an ex spouse when you can work but refuse is not okay in my eyes unless there are extreme circumstaces.
However i also do not judge people who do recieve it until they are on there feet a bit more (ie children not in school just yet)

I have worked since my child was in nursery, it was really hard but with no help i didnt have a choice! like many others

OP posts:
VinterKvinna · 28/01/2021 09:25

[quote BB1991]@VinterKvinna

Forgive me for thinking there may be more than one link! :)

enjoy the rest of your day and thank you for your opinion/time out of your day to comment :)[/quote]
Your 'friend' seems to have the same attitude as the woman on the other post - which is why its been posted a few times here.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:31

@VinterKvinna
Yes you are right she does,

So how about instead of me showing her a thread sifting through people attacking that women who shares the same opinion as her (again an awful one in my opinion/in this situation) , how about i show her one with facts like some women have commented even with a higher salary it is extremely rare, or there children are not in school yet which is why they have recieved it for a short time.

but again thank you for your time! :)

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:33

Can’t your friend access the internet?

Lonecatwithkitten · 28/01/2021 09:34

I was the person that spousal was claimed against I eat between £120-150K ( self employed profit based, but with transparent accounts). My Ex got half the assets despite me having all the childcare. He tried to claim spousal as he was out of work, he was sent of with a flea in his ear stating that it would only be awarded if there were preschool children or SEN and childcare responsibilities.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:35

@Cairnterrorist

No one needs me to post anything.

It does make a difference to your wage if you have properties that will be split therfore not having that income anymore...
anyway i assume you do not have any advice/experience? unless you have yet to share but thank you for posting :)

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:40

That’s not wage. That’s rental income.

I’m just wondering how she’s going to get a job wfh if she can’t work mumsnet to ask the questions herself.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:40

@Lonecatwithkitten

Rightly so if he is able to work but refused too! (in my opinion)
So they do not take kindly to people who receive "fair share" in assets to then try and claim more is that fair to say?

Thank you this was what the post was for to hear from both sides.

Do you believe if it was the other way around and he had all the childcare spousal M would of been granted?

(if you dont mind answering)
:)

OP posts:
VinterKvinna · 28/01/2021 09:40

[quote BB1991]@VinterKvinna
Yes you are right she does,

So how about instead of me showing her a thread sifting through people attacking that women who shares the same opinion as her (again an awful one in my opinion/in this situation) , how about i show her one with facts like some women have commented even with a higher salary it is extremely rare, or there children are not in school yet which is why they have recieved it for a short time.

but again thank you for your time! :)[/quote]
I think your 'friend' would do better to see how its viewed to try and gouge money out of an ex.

No one is saying that if a woman stays home to look after children and gives up her career she doesn't deserve some support, but both your 'friend' and the other poster need to get out and find a job and join the real world

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:41

@Cairnterrorist

I am aware of what it is.

and thank you for your opinions :)

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:42

My ex earned more than you quote. I didn’t get spousal.

He also worked for himself (which it seems now that this man does) so he could massage his income figures.

Your friend needs a solicitor.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:45

@VinterKvinna

I plan to show her both,

Yes i also agree if mum (or dad) have stayed home for many years to raise the children to give up a career they may be entitled until they can get the career path back ect...

however this isnt the case maybe 4 years out of work and started looking for work before divorce proceedings started.

Yes i agree. Welcome to the real world for both.

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 28/01/2021 09:47

Salary of 40,000/50,000 once all of assets are sold/divided?

You said salary. Not income.

Original poster
BB1991 · 28/01/2021 09:48

@Cairnterrorist

Did you agree with your outcome?

(if you don't mind me asking)

OP posts:
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