Change of name after divorce!

[HappyGoLucky81]

Hi all, need a little advice if you don't mind.

Bit of background, my husband and I separated 10 months ago, he literally woke up one morning and decided that we were over, he couldn't do it anymore, he wanted to separate, then the following day he told me he wanted to connect with an old girlfriend (we met at 18/19 and were together 16 years). We''d been through a lot during that time and I'm glad that we're no longer together as we weren't working, we didn't make each other happy anymore, although I still really hurts as I didn't want this to happen. He now lives with her and her parents at their house.

We have 2 daughters (10&7) and they were dealing OK with the separation, although it has been hard they are doing OK. They still see him and have recently started doing overnight stays with them, the girlfriend treats the girls well, seems quite nice.

Anyway, he rung this morning asking for our marriage certificate as he wants to apply for the divorce and he was going to pay, he just want it over now. He will be citing adultery. I want to change my name back to my maiden name as it will symbolise the break from him but my girls want me to keep the same name as them.

The last thing I want to do is upset them but I'm torn, does anyone have any advice on what they did and the effect on the children. Both my and the ex have explained that no matter what I will still be "Mam".

Sorry for the long winded post but thank you xxx

[november90]

Could you double barrel OP?
Or could you keep the martial surname as a second middle name and then use your maiden name as your official surname?

I'm going through a separation with 2 children - 3 years and 6 months. I'm devastated about loosing their surname but at the same time I can't keep it, it's too emotive for me. I have added my maiden name as my youngest second middle name so that if I do remarry in the future we can both share my maiden name as a second middle name! Ex wouldn't allow me to do this with our eldest, he said I was sick for suggesting it and threatened to take him off me permanently!!!