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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Divorce in the Time of Corona virus.

65 replies

Her0utdoors · 13/03/2020 14:15

No real point to this, and life goes in etc etc, but oh boy, I really didn't need life to get any more complicated right now.
Stbxh's health anxiety is now off the scale and his outbursts have been vicious.
If you need me, I'll be in the broom cupboard screaming into a cushion.
How's everyone else's day going

OP posts:

PicaK · 14/03/2020 11:07

I hear you. Plus house prices will plummet which is rubbish for trying to sell...

WhiteWriting · 14/03/2020 14:56

Same position here. House to sell. First court hearing next month. The worse thing is being alone in the house with the bleak corona news as a background to divorce worries.

Original poster

Her0utdoors · 14/03/2020 16:51

I was stuck sitting in the car last night while stbxh practiced putting them to bed in readiness for moving out and I listened to far to much radio4, it properly shit me up.
Fortunately we don't need to sell for him to move out, and me amd the children are safe with him in the house.

OP posts:

Liz79 · 14/03/2020 17:06

Mine is moving out on Thursday, finally. We separated in July. I will be buying him out of the house. Hopefully the recent interest rate change will help me.

Original poster

Her0utdoors · 14/03/2020 17:15

Good luck liz, it all feels so impossibility far in the future at the moment.

OP posts:

WhiteWriting · 14/03/2020 23:09

And now the over 70s to be forced to self-isolate for 4 months apparently - including my father who was supposed to be my wing man at court

Momentumneeded · 15/03/2020 02:21

I hear you. It all feels too much. I'm strong but the combined impacts of my family imploding, Brexit and now this are breaking me. Hence awake worrying in The middle of the night. No peace, refuge or even physical space at home with a bitter STBXH pressing all my buttons and refusing to engage in divorce or move out after a year of separation. He knows he's in control and is rubbing my face in it. Likely job loss now thx to the icing on the cake that is Corona and worry about elderly parents. Daily worry over finances and what will happen with the house. The feeling that you're facing it alone but trying to stay strong for the kids and just hoping the nightmare living situation doesn't cause them lasting harm. Its just draining and I see no end in sight. This is so far from the bright future I faced in my 20s and early 30s.

Sorry for all who are going through the same.

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 15/03/2020 20:48

I was wondering about all this. My decree nisi is due to be read this week. I wonder if they will do all this remotely if courts have to close. On the plus side I no longer live with him. Can't imagine any poor folks forced to self isolate with their stbx husband/abuser

Purplecatshopaholic · 15/03/2020 21:03

Luckily my fuckwit cheating ex is no longer in my house. I really feel for all those who are stuck in the house with someone they are separating from/divorcing - this is all making a tough time so much worse. I dare say my divorce will take longer now as I don’t suppose court will be going ahead, but at least I don’t have to see him.

Billibob84 · 15/03/2020 21:05

I could have wrote some of these posts. I cant stop crying today. I'm stuck in the house with my stbx. We are driving each other crazy. Going to have 2 kids at home when they close nursery. My parents who are my rock will have to self isolate and I really dont feel I can go this alone. Feel things cant get worse at the minute Hugs and wine to you all xxx

Mammyloveswine · 15/03/2020 21:08

Just taking time apart but can't because of bloody coronavirus... not helping right now 😭

GlassOfProsecco · 15/03/2020 21:32

Oh God, I've sadly found my crew.

Still living with Fuckwitt ex-partner as he's refusing to sell house (he doesn't have legal recourse for this)

I wanted the house on the market in January & we would have sold by now, with a good chunk of equity each.

Instead, this hellish scenario could go on for for months & I'm pretty sure there will be a housing market crash & recession.

The thought of being on lockdown with him..... there might be a murder.

Billibob84 · 15/03/2020 21:55

GlassofProssecco sounds like we are in similar situations!.Do you have children? I actually cant believe this is happening just when I thought things couldn't get worse!!

GlassOfProsecco · 15/03/2020 22:00

Yep, 2 DC age 11 & 7, who don't know we are separating yet - it happened in Oct/Nov last year & he's been delaying, manipulating, stalling, gaslighting & just an arse in general.

So it's shit all round. I just want to sell the house & move on.

Chin up - let's hope things move on...

Billibob84 · 15/03/2020 22:10

Yes similar!! Good luck to you. We can survive this!!!.

cece · 16/03/2020 08:04

I agree. Coronavirus is tipping me over the edge. I'm trying to divorce an uncooperative ex. At least he's moved out now.

My youngest son with sen has a Secondary school transition problem which involves mediation with the local authorities and potentially a court case.

My elderly mum is in hospital with an , as yet, undiagnosed problem. In the meantime she's in a lot of pain. Now I can't visit her as I've developed a cough and been told to stay home for 7 days.

Momentumneeded · 16/03/2020 19:24

@Billibob84 @GlassOfProsecco

I'm definitely in your crew. I'm torn between crying and laughing manically - now forced into virtual isolation working from home in a small house with my stbx. You couldn't make it up. It's like a very sick joke. Like your exes, if he'd been even slightly cooperative we would have been housed separately ages ago. I just don't know how much more I can take. Day time reprieve was the only saving grace and now I won't even have that. He presses every single button he can and laughs about the fact there's v little I can do about it. How do we all get through this with our sanity intact????

GlassOfProsecco · 16/03/2020 19:50

Christ. I could shoot myself now!!!

Even worse, the mortgage is due to increase next month because the discounted fixed period has stopped. Which is why I wanted to sell the house.

He wants to remortgage for another year - is he having a fucking laugh?!

And he's on redundancy consultation too. He will find out soon if he still has a job & that will force the issue.

The thought of quarantine with him . If the schools go off I may take the kids to my sisters to escape. Can't go to my parents as they are elderly.

He wants to "hunker down". I want to shoot myself.

Billibob84 · 16/03/2020 20:19

Oh girls!! This is terrible isn't it. I keep thinking it cant get worse and then it does!!! I'm kind of glad others are experiencing it though! We can support each other through this. It will.pass, we will look back one day and laugh...I hope...if we survive!!!

Momentumneeded · 16/03/2020 23:00

@Billibob84 I know. Humour is the only thing to fall back on...

@cece hope you are ok. Such an awful set of circumstances. Worrying about parents on top of everything.

cece · 17/03/2020 06:16

Thanks @momentumneeded

My kids are not happy now as it's my fault they're stuck indoors for 14 days now. Teens. Bah! 😷😢😳

MealyPotatoes · 27/03/2020 15:10

I’m also stuck in lockdown with stbxh. I asked him to go 18 months ago and he refused. I can’t afford to go otherwise I would have. We have four kids (teens and tweens) who are struggling with the tension in the house anyway, but this Coronavirus crisis is only adding to the stress.

Shodan · 27/03/2020 15:31

I'm very lucky that I'm not stuck in the same house as X (or STBX) H.

But... he's taken years to apply for the divorce (and the financial stuff still isn't sorted) and I recently had the letter to say the decree nisi will be read on the 30th March. I was SO happy but now I assume it'll be put off.

So I'm pissed off about that, but thankful we don't still live together.

Sincere sympathy for all of you that are stuck still

Palaver1 · 28/03/2020 09:00

I can relate to everyone of you .

WhiteWriting · 28/03/2020 09:44

How is everyone doing after a week of lockdown? We exchanged Form E this week and I have had the pleasure of finding out the real truth of exH's life. The many meals out, mini breaks to luxury hotels, trips abroad (one days after mediation when he was still pleading penury and singledom) and the wellness treatments/nursing bras/flowers for new partner. Particularly liked the 'hospital' image charge for their new baby! All this to digest alone whilst the world burns. I feel really low today. My life seems to have been stolen away from me.
Anyone around for a hand hold?

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