Divorce in the Time of Corona virus.

[Her0utdoors]

No real point to this, and life goes in etc etc, but oh boy, I really didn't need life to get any more complicated right now.
Stbxh's health anxiety is now off the scale and his outbursts have been vicious.
If you need me, I'll be in the broom cupboard screaming into a cushion.
How's everyone else's day going

Reading all of these has made me feel less alone. Divorce during Covid is hell. My decree nisi is being read in court in 2 weeks and we have a house to sell. I am living on my own with a 2 year old, just 2 days into being on our own. I have never felt so lonely and scared. I can't see past the next 10mins. Someone said earlier about being on a tightrope, that is exactly it! Every few hours I fall off and hit such a low I can't see a way out.
I need to rent somewhere as I can't stay where I am and all letting agents are closed.
Can't see friends because of Covid
It is all just a huge disgusting mess

Please know everyone that you are not alone in this.

Finally started my divorce proceedings and feeling optimistic which may be delusional but at least it’s a start

@WonderBean so good that you have taken that step. Well done! It's quite straightforward from petition to Nisi, even with an uncooperative ex. Form E is quite arduous but it's a really good opportunity to fully understand all your financials. 👍

@Susie1986 really feel for you and totally get the fear (yet another sleepless night here worrying!) but you definitely have to just take it a day at a time or it is completely overwhelming. You'll feel better once you have the Nisi I promise. Are you getting out for fresh air and walks? It must be so much harder with a little one to entertain. It has been a lifeline for me to have that space. I finally sought help from my GP and honestly they were so supportive and reassured me it was the right thing to do. You can do a phone apt and actually it can be easier sharing it all over the phone rather than face to face I think. So do definitely give them a call and get some support. I think they are trying to build a picture of the impact this is having on people in our situation. Do ask for help. You are stronger than you think but will get through this better with support. Take care of yourself. Xx

Court hearing end Feb cancelled - his barrister was ill. In limbo as all French courts closed.
Unfortunately has given his barrister time to launch another load of shit in my direction.

The latest is that my pension is more than his. However, she's totally ignored the fact that his work pension is 5 times mine.

French divorce law is shit.

Thanks for replying @Momentumneeded well done for asking for help, it’s such a stressful time without any added extras
I’m slightly dreading form E especially as my stbxh says I can have house which is prob in negative equity at the moment but solicitor says then it’s not fair as I take on a debt- I only want house and he can have his pension (not massive)
God I wish it could be straightforward

WonderBean it's such a difficult time particularly when you are trying to save ever penny. It's so expensive. The form E is actually, as others have said a really useful way of understanding what you have and where it is! It is time consuming but I found everyone I called for written info (policies etc) really helpful.
I just said, I was going through a divorce and needed up to date information and evidence. It was good to have it all sent to me and I gradually came more aware of my finances.
Again, remember he's going to do the same thing so you will end up with total transparency. Finally, estate agents again were very understanding. I was honest and said I wasn't in a position to move but needed three valuations for divorce. They must see it all the time. They knew that they may get a sale in the long run so they did their jobs well!
Good luck

@WonderBean I know what you mean. It's like wading through treacle.

If it helps you approach it, For my Form E I put it all on a spreadsheet in Form E order with notes on dates info. obtained/ how calculated and then kept e-copies of all the docs scanned/ downloaded in folders mirroring the sections (on a portable memory stick I keep in my car!) . It's been so useful as I can refer back to it and find what I need immediately when I have to update something. I did the budget section by month and annually so I can reference both. It seems less daunting when all broken down and a lot of the form is irrelevant if you don't have complex finances. Good luck and ask here if you get stuck!

@Chumpnomore have you compiled your Form E during lockdown? I ask because my ex, who has already spent a year dodging financial disclosure and blocking progress, is now using lockdown as a reason not to provide info. He's literally handed over zilch despite several expensive solicitor letters. Also - were you able to get valuations during lockdown? I'm a bit nervous about that as no one has been in our house except us since we went into lockdown. Also did the estate agents indicate how things stand with the housing market now and impact on values? Sorry to ask so many questions!

Hi moment, I completed form E a year ago.. We are still waiting for FDR.
Obviously valuations before lockdown but I know that one agent in my area still doing them on zoom! I guess they are desperate too!
Most of information on form E is possible to get by post /phone so I don't think there would be a problem getting that together atm so that's a lousy excuse! .
Re housing market? Who knows? But my feeling is valuations will be pretty consistent in the meantime.
My FDR will now be done remotely so not at a court. This means don't assume things won't progress x

Gosh I really appreciate you all so bored of talking about my situation but nice to speak with others who have been through it/ going through it.
On the plus side my stbxh finally is leaving hopefully this week after living together for nearly a year separated. I am going to sage the s**t of the spare room! X

@WonderBean OMG that is the best news. I'm so happy for you and so bloody envious. I think the ability to think clearly and stay calm and positive whilst living acrimoniously under the same roof just becomes impossible. There's only so much you can take. I've also racked up a year and I'm thoroughly drained and fraying àt the edges.

Having just paid a whopper of a solicitor bill I got another one yesterday - £500+ for my solicitor to digest (not respond to) my stbx's latest missive and follow up emails - he's self representing so a) he's delaying again using lockdown as an excuse this time b) it's long, disjointed and contains I reckon 5 pages of completely Irrelevant and malicious bile about me c) he can just keep the letters and emails coming at my expense without any actual progress being made.

So another sleepless night (off to pick up a prescription of sleeping tablets later though so hoping that will help) worrying about the impact of this on the children, stressing about the solicitor (think I'm going to have to stop legal support as I can't afford it after this month due to job insecurity - but then I'm stuck in this hellish limbo), my job and the increasingly precarious financial situation as he's not committed to give me Interim maintenance. I know I will NEVER make myself this financially tied to anyone ever again. I think managing alone may be difficult but at least no one else is sabotaging you and you can budget.

Anyone got any tips for self representing against an angry, tight fisted, stubborn as hell narcissistic stbx with a victim complex and high income who seems intent on breaking you mentally and financially????? 😭

@Momentumneeded thank you and know how hard it is to be living together separated. My first instinct was to just run away but with 2 kids and a house that’s not an option. Him going is such a relief but I now need to pay for everything as he lost his job in December.
I’m sending you strength and virtual hugs, he sounds like such a douche I just don’t get why they drag these things out. I’ve been watching lots of self help videos ( used to think these were hilarious) and trying to get some time to exercise
You will get through this, I’m dreading the divorce process having just started but we will ALL get through this 💪🏽 And come out stronger. It’s temporary I keep telling myself X

@HelloBolloxMyOldFriend I’ve not visited the divorce section for a while but popped in to see how things were going, I’m waiting for a decree absolute which I think was applied for last week but I’m not sure. My consent order went to court end of feb and was approved on 7th April, however either court didn’t send to solicitor or solicitor didn’t tell me this until 30th April. I suspect the former though I have got a new solicitor during covid as mine retired and passed me onto someone else so maybe that held things up. Hoping there isn’t a similar delay with absolute which she said she’d apply for Thursday.

To those further behind, I send very best wishes and strength as I lived with my stbxh for 10 months while he found somewhere to live after we split due to his decision to spend thousands on escorts and it was awful but at least we aren’t in lockdown. Take care everyone,

My divorce has completely stagnated. stbxH moved out over a year ago. He took ages to do any financial disclosure, and now looks like we will have to do it all again post-Covid and house prices dropping/pensions dropping pensions n value/his business not operating for months.

I'm so frustrated by the delays. I'm tempted to go to court rather than keep trying bat mediation. Just do this ends.

@Ivyholly Thank you, this helps.