File for divorce first?

[MG08]

My husband and I have been separated for 5 months. There has been emotional abuse and gas lighting on his part. I had originally told him to go ahead with a divorce as a reaction after he had sent some horrible messages explaining how everything was my fault. It now seems he is doing this but I am wondering whether I would be in a stronger position to file for divorce myself, rather than be on the receiving end.

Does it make a difference?

If you've the money then I say do it. Get a decent solicitor. Let him read in the petition the reasons you cite for the ground of unreasonable behaviour. You will have the chance to call more shots, I think. Be warned though: whilst it's my decision to be actively divorcing my STBExH, it's still a draining process. That being said, it feels good to be taking control of my life again.

I guess it depends what he thinks is happening. I ended up as respondent as I was looking at a similar picture but he thought he had never done anything wrong. Allowing him to write fiction about me meant it was a lot smoother...