Advice

[Carlajane1]

My grandchildren have told me there mums boyfriend has been hurting them and my daughter, i dont know what to do my daughter says leave it alone mum but i am so upset and cross, they have come to live with me

Dear Carla . I was just about to go to sleep (had sleeping pill) but saw your post and was worried you might not get many responses at this time in the morning .
Plenty of supportive professional compassionate women will be along soon who will give you sound advice on safeguarding your DD and your DGs .
My DS and DGs were victims of domestic violence and abuse at the hands of DP and I know the fear and distress you feel .
Contact Emergency Social Services in the morning , it's important to log all these incidents as soon as they start
In the meantime , hugs to you x

Your daughter is in an abusive relationship and they are very difficult to get out of often due to threats of violence etc (I'm still trying to get out of mine). Keep the kids away from this man but I wouldn't interfere beyond that. Your daughter needs to be strong and get out, she should ring women's aid and do the freedom programme. Well done you helping out, your grandchildren may never fully understand the suffering you've saved them from. Just be there for your family when they need you

Right know your only concern is being their to support your daughter and grandchildren. Don’t do anything to betray that trust, or they won’t ever feel they have a safe haven to come back to. Allow your daughter some time to process what has happened and confide in you without it being forced. Yes of course if you feel your grandchildren are in danger if your daughter takes up the relationship again contact child protective services and the police immediately.

However if you do so prematurely without your daughter being ready you open the door to lots of contradictory information and potentially foster care to protect the children

At this moment they are safe with you. Your daughter needs your support emotionally before anything moves further

Of course if at any point you feel your daughter isn’t capable of looking after her children then you should also report this, despite any hurt it will cause you

No advice, but sending a hug . Good for you, protecting the children .

Please sign post her to the freedom programme. We offer it free online and it shows the cycle of abuse and all the tactics they use, it is a life changer and happy to chat if you would like more info. No one deserves to be abused.