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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Changing name after divorce.

26 replies

BlackTulip71 · 31/01/2020 22:47

Just wondering what to be known as after divorce. I don’t fancy going back to maiden name. And would like to stay same as daughters.

But what I be? Still Mrs B ? Or Ms. (Not keen) or Miss B. But miss seems odd.

What have you all done?

OP posts:
CatyaPurella · 01/02/2020 07:36

For now I have kept my surname because I am too lazy to change it but use Ms usually if I can. When I get round to it I will use Ms Maiden name

Mner2000 · 01/02/2020 07:45

My mum kept her married name after their divorce and still uses Mrs. I doubt there are any hard and fast rules.

surlycurly · 01/02/2020 07:54

I only kept my married name to be the same as the kids. Although I'm Ms now on most things. Will bin it when they both leave school.

CalleighDoodle · 01/02/2020 07:56

Im ms at work anyway. All women at my place of work are ms as standard, and people ask to be mrs or miss if they prefer.

Qwerty543 · 02/02/2020 10:38

I'm Ms Maiden Name. I never liked my married name and whilst I don't like not having the same name as the DCs, there was no way I wanted the name of someone I was divorcing.

MrsBertBibby · 02/02/2020 18:54

People do all sorts. It always makes me laugh when ex husbands demand that "she" stop using "my name". They do that surprisingly often.

surlycurly · 03/02/2020 16:25

Ha @MrsBertBibby my ex texted me to ask for his name back just before Christmas. Moron.

MorningNinja · 04/02/2020 12:47

I'm the same as Qwerty although not having the same name as my DCs doesn't bother them or I. Three years on it still feels amazing seeing my name on documents.

Bluewater1 · 13/02/2020 21:52

I am undecided but since leaving my ex, my ex MIL now sends anything written to me using my maiden name.... when I haven't chosen that, I think it should be my choice quite frankly and I'm offended by her doing this.

MotherHeggy · 13/02/2020 21:57

I went back to my maiden name which I've always been proud to use. Hated my married surname as it's a commonly used one - doesn't seem to be as many people with my maiden name.

MunaZaldrizoti · 13/02/2020 22:04

All these name change threads are so 🙄 50% of marriages end in divorce (with more 60% of petitions being made by women) and women still take a man's name 80% of the time leading to these sorts of pointless discussions.

Meeeh · 13/02/2020 22:30

Kept it for now to match the kids.

Meeeh · 13/02/2020 22:31

@MunaZaldrizoti then don’t waste your time commenting if you find them dull. On your way.

CodenameVillanelle · 13/02/2020 22:31

What's wrong with Ms?

MunaZaldrizoti · 13/02/2020 22:34

I didn't say I found them dull, @Meeeh, just a little bemusing. And sad.

surlycurly · 13/02/2020 22:40

Bemusing and sad? Really? Why are you here then? Believe it or not it's massively condescending of you to belittle people who are having to face the reality of a post divorce name change. It's quite symbolic of a huge life shift and for some that's been painful and difficult and involves their kids. So, politely, do fuck off.

MunaZaldrizoti · 13/02/2020 23:43

@surlycurly Pointing out that it's a stupid tradition to carry on (women unthinkingly taking a man's name upon marriage) somehow makes me an asshole, as opposed to the people who keep doing something stupid. I don't particularly mind being an asshole in this context🤷🏾‍♀️

MunaZaldrizoti · 13/02/2020 23:44

Just wish people would stop being stupid and then moaning about how their stupidity wasn't a good idea. Duh anyone?

surlycurly · 14/02/2020 00:28

Start a thread on women taking their husband's names then. You're arguing with a bunch of people who have already done what you profess to find so stupid, which is not only offensive but futile. But we're the stupid ones? I suggest you get irate about something you can alter, not something you can not, and leave all of us who have the actual dilemma to resolve it, not just bitch about how stupid it was in the first place.

Meeeh · 14/02/2020 00:41

@MunaZaldrizoti your idiotic comment was literally the same as this:
Question: I’ve lost my necklace, should I just wear the earrings?
Your non-answer: I don’t know why people bother piercing their ears when you can get clip on earrings.

You offered nothing to the conversation and just came by to vent whatever unrelated issues you gave.

MunaZaldrizoti · 14/02/2020 09:12

Oops, I didn't mean to trigger you both. I guess sometimes having reality pointed out at us can be inconvenient.
Still, I hope someone with more sense reads this thread, sees the numbers as they are in black and white, and realise they are being sold a con. The con of "a woman should be so pleased to have been offered marriage that she should willingly give up her identity to become Mrs His Woman", it's so tired, and yet works for some huh...

Qwerty543 · 14/02/2020 09:41

Bore off Muna.

Satsuma2 · 14/02/2020 09:58

Who rattled your cage Muna?

I married and divorced many, many moons ago and I kept my married name until my children left school. I changed my surname by statutory declaration to one I picked myself. I didn't want to go back to using my stepfathers surname as he was an arsehole and my fathers name is very common.

Original poster
BlackTulip71 · 14/02/2020 10:47

I started this thread just as a friendly discussion and to gauge an idea on kept their married name. Thanks to those who have replied.

Please can we stop any other disagreement on this subject.

Have a good weekend everyone. Smile

OP posts:
Meeeh · 14/02/2020 15:17

Happy Valentines Day - whatever you chose to be called Grin

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