Pondering still

[PonderingPanda]

XH and l divorced last year. In the scheme of thing's this doesn't actually matter anymore but l was wondering what other's opinions are.

He now admits that whilst we were still married he lied to me about his whereabouts so they could meet up.

I then found out about them after reading messages on then DH phone from her saying how she will be dreaming of him.

XH and (in my opinion) OW, are still adamant that they didn't have an affair as they weren't physical until after we split.

What do others think? I still think they did personally....again not that it makes any difference to the situation, l was just pondering on it

I think they were physical before the split. It's a moot point now though.

May also depend on your definition of an affair. My stbxh reckoned I had an affair for much of the marriage with an old school friend. We banter inappropriately by phone but last spent time in the same room in 2007 and may have got as far as a random kiss in1988,10 years before I met stbxh. You will never know for sure but it seems a lot more likely in your scenario...