What might I get if I divorce, as I'm not entitled to benefits

[adri349]

Hi, I'd really appreciate if any of you could offer your opinions or experience on what you think I might get or and could ask for, if I go for divorce at some point. I've put my brief background and questions below. Thanks.

Background
-I'm in my early thirties
-I came to marry in UK 7 years ago (from Brazil), husband already had a 2 bed flat before marriage, no kids.
-I worked part time for about 2 years, just call centre, minimum wage
-I had a daughter with him, she's now aged 14 months
-He is self employed, works around the country, probably earns maybe 30 to 50 a year, depending on work availability, it can vary.
-The flat is worth maybe £130k, with about £70k still on the mortgage
-We both have about £10k each in savings
-I don't want to be married anymore, for my own reasons.
-If I divorce, I can stay in the UK on a Parent Visa because my daughter was born in the UK. I would want complete custody.
-However, the Parent Visa does not allow me benefits. The visa says 'no recourse to public funds'. And I would need to remain on that visa, after divorce, for 5 years before I can settle and get benefits.

Questions

1. From what I understand, the government will give me and daughter the flat to live in, and he can find somewhere else. I've added up all the bills, mortgage, car, home maintenance, food, basic leisure etc and I'll need about £1800 a month to cover everything, and thats not including nice holidays. So given that I cannot get benefits for 5 years and I'm a stay at home mum, he must surely be asked to pay the £1800 in combined spousal support and child maintenance right? As that's how much we need.

1. Might the government say he has to sell the flat? In which case how much of the money might I be entitled to, and would he still pay child and spousal maintenance if I used some of that flat sale to pay the bills myself?

1. After 5 years, when I could get benefits, would those be reduced if he pays me spousal maintenance? Or I'm entitled to get both?

1. I'd want full custody of my little one. He can start his own family if he wants, not my problem. So what's the minimum they could award custody or visiting for him? Like a few hours on the weekend, or a whole day?

1. His pension at retirement and any inheritance he might get in future, I read I may be awarded some of that - but would that work the otherway around as well?

1. Can I make him leave the flat? Like just lock the doors on him and say sorry, you're welcome back to visit only if you must. I understand then he has no option but to apply for rights to visit.

1. I hope I would be able to continue to live in the flat after divorce. Surely he would be made to keep making payments on the mortgage if he doesn't live here?

Sorry about all the questions, just comment on any that you feel you wish. I hope the answers will be useful for others.

'll need about £1800 a month to cover everything, and thats not including nice holidays.

Nice holidays-this can’t be real?!

Still doesn't add up, Knit, because she's been here for 7 years and the child is only 14 months old. She would have needed a spouse visa initially, but that doesn't last very long, only 2.5 years, so then she'd have needed to proceed to ILR on that basis. That she hasn't begs the question, her spouse visa must have lapsed. Uh oh. I don't understand why a person who came here on a spouse visa, which is 2.5 years, is still here 4.5 years later and has no ILR . . . hmm. If you have ILR, you don't need a 'Parent Visa'.

Can you elaborate, OP?

Wasn’t there a thread pretty much identical to this a few months ago where the op was adamant she would be entitled to a substantial amount of spousal support from her British husband and only replied to ‘helpful’ comments?

Yes, I thought that. Only some or the details were different as that OP was living with family?

OP-are you legally entitled to work in this country?

If you can’t work and can’t claim benefits, have you considered returning to your home country?

'Parent visa'. There's no such thing and if you really were an immigrant from Brazil you would know that, too
Of course there is, even two - 5 year route and 10 year route to settlement.

You would not automatically be given a home. You may be housed in a hostel or B&B for some time.

And because you are not entitled to public funds, they might not even extend to that. If you have no valid visa, you may be in serious trouble.

I don't understand why a person who came here on a spouse visa, which is 2.5 years, is still here 4.5 years later and has no ILR . . .
While the OP is clearly a troll or a reverse poster, it is actually quite common. ILR is very expensive at the moment, and often requires the husband to be willing to a) pay for it, around £3K now in total, I think b) support the application personally.
I volunteer with a small charity and we do see women who are in the UK for 10+ years, and are still on time-limited visas - because the husbands often are abusive and are using their wives' immigration status as just another tool of abuse and coercive control. Often there is a clear age / attractiveness gap between the couple (think 70 year old husband and 35 years old wife), and after the ILR the wife would be free to divorce and do whatever she fancies.

Of course there is, even two - 5 year route and 10 year route to settlement.

But she didn't come here on that, she came here on the spouse visa. That's 2.5 years. Then you have to apply for the ILR on the basis of being the spouse of a British person, and again, the child is only 14 months old, she's been here for 7 years, so what visa has she been living on for the almost 5 years she has been here between the expiry of the initial 2.5 year visa and now?

Yes, you will be awarded the flat, 2k a month, and a free shark for jumping practice.

The parent visa isn't free, either, and if her current visa has expired it's quite a worry because technically that applicant needs to leave and re-apply for another visa from their home country (just sort of swotted up on this as my daughter is marrying an American man next month and although they are living there for now, he's a pilot so they've explored ways to live in various other countries).

I’m no expert but the first place I’d go would be to a solicitor in particular with regard to your immigration status and ability to stay in the UK if you divorce . A solicitor can also advise you on the grounds for divorce in the uk and as others have said if he doesn’t give consent then it would be a five year wait . The general starting point is 50:50 split of contact and you would both need a place where you can accommodate your daughter therefore him in a bed sit is not going to work . Worst case scenario but unlikely is he goes for full custody as your daughter is a British citizen , keeps his flat and you return to Brazil . Only a solicitor can advise .

But she didn't come here on that, she came here on the spouse visa
You cannot come on this type of visa, it is designed specifically to catch all parents of British children already in the UK who are not eligible for other categories. Ex-spouses, unmarried ex-partner, workers who get dismissed and unable to secure another permit in time.

...not including nice holidays

Seriously????

Not another one of these threads. If this is genuine which I highly doubt then the op will be very disappointed as she wont be getting much. Comes across as greedy and entitled.

That's great, so it's to allow overstayers a way to stay in here whilst people who do it the lawful way get reamed. Nice to know! At least they aren't allowed to claim benefits into the bargain, not that UC is any great thing.

EEMother, you can apply for the family visa from within the UK.
I’ve recently been told that a person doesn’t have to leave anymore to apply.
You can see the section under the family visa link “applying from within the UK”.

I wonder if someone knows more about applying for a visa based on “private life in the UK”
And EE what is the name of the charity that assists? I know someone in circumstances similar to the scenario you posted.

@Knitclubchatter
That's exactly what I said with respect to family visas, more specifically for the parent leave to remain they are accessible from within the country only... I will PM you the details, but we are working with women from a particular area of the world (which may or may not be relevant to your case).

@timshelthechoice

Your typical "overstayer" here typically is a foreign mother of a young British child, who was living in a very abusive marriage - her British husband does not even need to formally divorce her to throw her out of the country, he can cancel her permission to live here by simply filling in a short form. She won't be allowed to take her child with her (unless she has £0000 for a leave to remove application to the family court, and a couple of years to litigate). She is not allowed to settle permanently if her husband does not agree with it. In case of violence, she has nowhere to go - domestic violence shelters are funded by housing benefits, and do not accept women with no recourse to public funds.
After she gets leave as a parent, she is not entitled to any benefits, subsidy or support- not even the funded childcare hours for 3 year olds, and it is usually not a sweet life. Majority of women in these situations I met personally are actually dying to return to their home countries.

Wow, thanks EE for that post. I bet these women are invisible. Bet their “partners” dying isn’t even of any help.

Unfortunately you are mistaken on what the government will award you, it's the courts not the government for starters. If you are married under 10 years generally the assumption is you get back the assets you brought to the marriage or it's split 50/50 possibly, you certainly won't be given the flat, at best you may be allowed to stay there for set number of years until your dc is in school full time. Spousal maintenance is unlikely under £50k so it's just child maintenance around £200 a month as a rough estimate. He could be awarded up to 50/50 custody if he requested it in which case you will get no maintenance. Your total savings will be split 50/50.

You need to work full time and put little one in childcare, request him to pay 50% of the childcare bill.

You need to work full time and put little one in childcare

This is the most sensible option. If your visa says you can’t work (which you have yet to clarify) then you have bigger problems.

You live in a fantasy world

Do your own reasons to divorce include the fact that you fully intended to come here and marry someone to then fleece them at the first opportunity you got? He can live off £600 a month in a grotty bedsit? Are you for real? Why don't you take the actual shirt off his back while you're at it. A few facts for you.

You won't get spousal maintenance.

You might not even get a share of the flat as it was a pre marital asset.

You can work. My son was 7 months old when I returned to work.

Your Visa won't allow you to stay if you can't support yourself or your child.

He could well get 50:50 custody which would mean you would get zilch off him, not even child maintenance.

Get yourself some self respect and get off your gold digging bum and GET A JOB

EEmother thanks, really enlightening post. So what do most women in that predicament choose to do?

OP not been back now she's realised he won't be ordered to turn over the flat, the bulk of what he earns or complete custody of his child to her just because she wants it and doesn't want to work.

There was another similar post a few months ago and the OP was truly shocked to learn that both parents are expected to support themselves through work.

ok, ok, so I've read your replies. Thanks for writing them. I didn't realise I'd get so many... you're right, it's not quite as I thought, I thought the UK was supposed to be very supportive to the mother and it was up to the man to move on. But since I'm not entitled to benefits for a while, I thought its much more likely that he will have to pay spousal, I can't exist otherwise then can I? And even if I tried to just go out and get a job at the moment, it really may not happen.

Also I read somewhere that a theoretical maximum can be made on spousal maintenence, that if he earns more than he can pay more. Or I can request more but I have to apply for some maintenance variation if circumstances change. Has anyone done one? Is it expensive to apply for this? How often can you apply if someone's salary is always up and down? Sorry if that might be a different topic.

I know it seems like I talk alot just about money, but money funds everything, what do you do without it? How do you plan for things and build the next stage in life?

I will of course see a solicitor at some point as you're advising. But I'm also hearing a general opinion coming out on a number of points. I just hope I'll be considered differently due to the circumstances.