My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years and have 2 children (1 and 3 years old). When I was pregnant with DS2 I found a number of explicit messages and photos and despite him saying he wouldn’t do it again I have caught him messaging other women again. I tried to stick at it for the sake of the boys but in November last year I realised that I couldn’t carry on. In March of this year I asked for a divorce and he has refused. He wants us to try and so I’ve tried and tried but I just don’t love him and can’t try as hard as he wants me to. I feel heartbroken and so disrespected.
I am the main breadwinner and earn over £100K whereas he earns circa £40K. I own our marital home and pay all of the mortgage, bills, childcare, food etc and he contributes £485 a month to circa £3,500 of monthly outgoings that I pick up. I also have a loan in my name for his debts that he pays me back on a monthly basis. I have a healthy pension and savings for my children’s future. He has only contributed minimal amounts to a pension despite my pushing him to pay more.
I start a new job soon and will be relocating. My plan is to go with the children but without him and buy the next house on my own again. I am aware he could claim matrimonial home rights and I am scared he will not sign the sale contract but if he doesn’t then I cannot start my new job and therefore I won’t be able to pay the mortgage on our current home with no job (I’m already working my notice at my current job).
I understand that he can legally claim 50/50 but is there any leniency when it’s clear that I have paid for everything with minimal contribution? I have built up our family, assumed his debt, loaned him countless amounts of money and generally done everything I can to get him in financially better state. I haven’t done anything wrong here and have always prioritised my family.
I have offered to pay off his loan (the one in my name) which is circa £18K and also to not demand any child maintenance at all for the rest of the children’s lives. This amounts to circa £65K until they are 16 but I anticipate them both going to uni and so he would need to pay for another 4 years, circa £20K. This will give him £1,000 a month back in his paypacket to rent a place and will allow us a clean break but he wants to fight it in court. I am so scared that all of my money, savings, house, pension etc will need to be split 50/50 which seems so unfair just because I’ve been financially savvy and worked hard to get a good job and saved like an idiot!!
Has anyone had experience of this and can help to settle my mind?! I’m hoping to see a solicitor on Tuesday. Many thanks!