What has your ex done out of spite just to piss you off?

[joliejoleen]

Mine has decided that he will be seeing each of his children separately - as in one DS this Friday and the other DS next Friday. This is to make sure that I NEVER have a moment to myself as my ex can't stand the idea of me being with someone else 🙄
Anyone else with a seeyounexttuesday ex?

When I contacted CMS exDP quit his fairly well paid job just so I'd only get £7 a week off him - he then went on to work cash in hand instead and has done for the past 5 years to avoid paying any more than needed.

I wonder what the mothers and fathers of these bas*** must think. Do they feel embarrassed that they have raised such horrible and disrespectful sons.

Petty - kept the odd DVD out of my marvel collection. I think he is expected me to ask.

Kept one shoe from all my favourite pairs

Serious - managed to convince my teenage dd that I fled the house with her and her brother because I was having an affair.

Used his half of the family home equity to try and buy our sons affections. Spent the rest impressing a new girlfriend, who he rented a huge house with after 12 weeks. He is now broke and they have split and he is trying to find a new home.

God there are some shit men out there!

I had a weirdo ex who let himself into my house after our break up and took all out (ahem) "toys", condoms etc out of the bedroom Cos apparently he couldn't stand the thought of me "enjoying myself@ without him. Freak.

Nowhere near as bad as some of these though.

I can answer on behalf of my ex. He doesn't get on well with his mother, he hates all women and has real problems with them including me and all his other exes, and his daughter, our DD. The fathers of these men are usually quite the same.
So his father is indifferent and his mother is at times exasperated but mostly indifferent as she thinks all men are like that.

I wonder what the mothers and fathers of these bas*must think. Do they feel embarrassed that they have raised such horrible and disrespectful sons

Probably not much. I am sure they were told I left because I had an affair. But also exh grandparents were lovely. When grandma passed away, grandad went looking for some of her jewellery. Ex mil decided to pawn it all, before her funeral.

When he died, she emptied the house without letting exh or his sister know and so many important sentimental items were lost.

So her character was less that stellar. I cant imagine she would judge her son that much.

That was to Burlea sorry

Incidentally, film was lovely. But looked the other way to mils behaviour. He was besotted with her and terrified she would leave.

fil not film

One of my exes would take back everything he had ever bought me when we argued.

A curtain pole, a rug, my coat and boots and my daughters, too.

His mum would come and get him in her car, load it all up, and off they'd go, till next time.

My sisters ex farted through her letterbox....

He took my pen pot and all of my teaspoons. More petty than spiteful but still....

Left me when I was pregnant and tells anyone who will listen that that child isn’t his. Told my children when they were little that they didn’t have to do as they were told because ‘mum’s not in charge of you.’ Told my sons when they were teenagers that it was alright to hit me. Generally screwed with their heads and now, when they are NC with him the fault is all theirs or mine.

Would not leave family home. I had to leave with 3 kids under six (I was v young myself and terrified of him)
Not content with that, when I fell pregnant to my new husband he packed in his job and never worked again so I didn't get a penny in child support. Told me it was my fault as I chose to have another child when I couldn't afford my own. Pointing out that they were also his children had zero effect.
Plus he was 40 when he got me pregnant at 17 and made my life hell keeping me barefoot and pregnant. He never forgave me for waking up to the abuse and finding the strength to leave. The kids and I had the clothes on our backs and had to rely on the kindness of friends

My exh many years ago now(my adult DCs father). The children were very young.
We were separated(due to financial/emotional abuse and physical violence) but living under same roof for 3months until I was allocated a social housing property.

He stopped me eating any food that we had in the house.
The DCs were allowed food!

He stopped me using hot water for a bath.
(I just waited till he went to the pub at night then put the hot water on then ran off all the hot water that I hadn't used because he would check to see if the hot water tank was warm when he came back).

I was no longer allowed to read or do the crossword in the Newspaper!

I had just got a full time job(which he was absolutely furious about!!)

I had not had my first wage as paid monthly, so I walked the 3miles to work and back(with 3 fractured ribs from being kicked by exh wearing steel toe cap boots on the Saturday before I started my new job on the Monday.

I worked at the same place as my sister so she brought me sandwiches everyday and that was pretty much all I hate during the week.

At weekends I went to my grandmothers with DCs and she would feed me and the DCs and watched them while I slept for a couple of hours due to the exhaustion.

From beginning of June to beginning of August I had lost 2.5stone and weighed less than 6stone...my periods stopped for 9months due to being malnourished.

DCs were in nursery and school. He picked them up from nursery and childminder and drove past me... 2miles from home... on the road every day.
By the time I got home at about 5.30pm I was locked out of the house until going up for 7pm. So I just used to go to my neighbours house and wait there until just before 7pm....
He then let me in so that I could put the children to bed.

He did all the above stuff and a lot more to try and stop me from working and also to try and stop me leaving but it did not stop me.

It was the worst time of my life and it took me a few years to recover but after that I never looked back.

He died a good few years ago.

Oh and when I finally got a little 2 bed place for me and the kids and moved in he came round the first day and gave me a black eye. It was a blessing in disguise as the rage I felt when I looked in the mirror spurred me on. That rage powered me on to never look back

@jolijoleen My friend had this with her ex, he wanted one child one night of the weekend , one the other etc so she couldn't go out.
She played him back at the mindgames, because every time he did this she said 'That's fine, DD and I can have a lovely movie night in' or 'Super, DS and I can do xyz or whatever' - he soon put a stop to that because he thought the 1 to 1 wasn't doing HIM any favours, as she was clearly enjoying the 1 to 1 time and not bothered about going out., plus he then hooked up with OW post divorce No 3 who actually stuck around a long time, so of course it wasn't as convenient for him to be tied up both evenings of the weekend!
In addition we were all organising parties, cinema trips and sleepovers for her kids too, so she did have plenty of time out alone with her now DH.

We split up amicably and have been friends ever since. I met current DH a year later and exDH was happy to stay in my home with our 3 DC for a week while we went away. Came back to a landline phone bill with £180 of calls to a sex line and he refused to pay!

@CaptainJaneway62 Oh that is horrific! I'm so sorry you went through all that

CaptainJaneway62

I am literally horrified at reading your post.
What an awful man

CaptainJaneway62 that is so sad I'm sorry you had to go through that part of your life.

Some of the experiences that some of you have gone through breaks my heart. You are all very brave.

Well done for getting yourself and your DCs out of that horrible situation Captian.

As for my tight arse ex my Shit Hot Lawyer got me a very good deal and while maintenance is lower than he should the court order means my DCs get something every month. My SHL put a cleverly clause in the court order to say ex has to pay maintenance as long as DCs are in full time education.

DS1 intends to go to University, and he's clever enough to then do a Masters..... followed by a PhD.
He may well be pushing 30 by the time he's finished his full time education

• cleverly worded clause

See this is why that SHL was worth every penny!

@CaptainJaneway62 I'm horrified by that. What a lot you went through, I'm in awe of you.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. It's the first time I have ever posted about this. It is like I am talking about another person and it's always felt like it happened to someone else.

I spent 6years in that awful marriage. I was 26 when I got out! DCs were 5 and 15months.

I started a 10months TOPS course(this is 1980) in the final year I was with him...I knew I had to do this because I needed the Secretarial Certificate qualification to get an office job! You also have to bear in mind I was a complete nervous wreck and in a constant state of inner panic but on the outside I looked really calm.
By the time I started the course and I had very very low self esteem and even though I knew I was intelligent he had spent a long time telling me how thick I was.

The tutors didn't think I would pass because I was already showing up for college with various DV injuries. Black eye, busted nose and lips.

The busted nose was from an incident where I asked him if he needed onion in his mashed potato could he chop one up...that's when he thumped me full in the face whilst I was holding baby who was teething in one arm and mashing potatoes with the other!

But I did pass it because the female tutors were absolutely routing for me and I did my homework in their office at lunch time because he kept destroying my work if I did it at home and was offered a job at my sister's place of work where I had done my 2 week work placement.

Within 3years I had landed a brilliant job as an Account Executive in Printing and was able to buy my own house.
I then moved onto Textiles in Production Management and that was my career for the biggest part of my working life.

I have lived a totally different life since then but sometimes these still haunt especially when I read threads on MN about women suffering awful abuse.

Thank you for everyone letting me share my story and apologies to OP for derailing your thread