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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Decree absolute

19 replies

madcatladyforever · 22/12/2018 17:12

Decree absolute came through today, I feel properly glum, two decades wasted.
A bit of effort would have sorted all of our problems but I guess some people don't want to make that effort.
Honestly, 3 days before christmas. Christmas can do one, it'll be just me and my cat and a crate of wine.
Still at least I still have my house and everything.

OP posts:
Santaisonthesherry · 22/12/2018 17:17

Look at it as a time to celebrate you are well rid.
May 2019 be the year you embrace your new beginning!.
Wine

Neverexpected2 · 22/12/2018 17:22

I feel your pain. Mine is due by new year apparently. 2 decades down the drain because he fancied shagging ow from work. I'm now a single mom to 3 young kids and whilst I got a reasonable settlement his mistress, who has done absolutely nothing to support him to where he's got over all these years, now lives a life of luxury for doing nothing more than pursuing a married man and putting out.

Hoping 2019 is a better one for me and you

Original poster
madcatladyforever · 22/12/2018 17:23

Indeed, thanks Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
madcatladyforever · 22/12/2018 19:05

God neverexpected that's awful, what the hell is wrong with these men. They are shitlords, we are well rid in the long run. No point having a man who cannot be trusted or relied on. Mine dumped me when I was seriously ill as my illness was obviously too boring for him.
2019 will be our year. We owe it to ourselves.

OP posts:
Neverexpected2 · 22/12/2018 21:05

Yes madcat - I never saw it coming at all and to top it all he's then spent the last 2 years denying it was an affair And calling me crazy etc - and only actually admitted it all a few months back - his reasoning was that he didn't want to hurt me!

But yes, she's his problem now as I have no doubt now he taken this path it won't be his last affair.

We both deserve better and I really hope 2019 is our year Smile

Neverexpected2 · 22/12/2018 21:06

Sorry, should say he's her problem- but then again she was a cheat too and ruined her own family too so who knows which will be first Wink

Original poster
madcatladyforever · 23/12/2018 07:40

They sound vile - they are welcome to each other. You are well rid Flowers

OP posts:
NotBeingRobbed · 23/12/2018 09:00

At least you got a reasonable settlement and kept your house. I am also losing my life savings. At least I have the kids.

Original poster
madcatladyforever · 23/12/2018 15:20

he should have walked away with nothing, what an arse.

OP posts:
Original poster
madcatladyforever · 24/12/2018 17:59

The big fool drove 100 miles to my house the other evening AFTER the absolute was issued to start going on about what a massive mistake he made and this and that. For fucks sake he's had 2 and a half years to think about coming back. I told him to get lost. Are all men this mental?

OP posts:
Neverexpected2 · 24/12/2018 18:21

Christ, what a head f*ck!

ChristmasFlary · 24/12/2018 18:24

Got mine last month after 20yrs together. He also had OW. Even though l would never ever take him back and have been happier since he left, l was still so upset when it came.

Original poster
madcatladyforever · 25/12/2018 14:01

I think it's normal to be upset when it comes through ladies because it suddenly hits home that the person you invested your life and time on left you, it's a big betrayal. Three days on I'm feeling on top of the world - hurray and freedom at last.
Got loads of plans for 2019 and feeling so much happier.

OP posts:
OhioOhioOhio · 25/12/2018 14:04

Im desperate to get divorced but dreading that decree nisi. Out of all the things my bastard stbxh did ruining my vision of marriage is one of the worst.

Original poster
madcatladyforever · 26/12/2018 21:46

I know what you mean Ohio, I too viewed my marriage as being very special and important but looking back I was the only one making it special, he didn't do anything or lift a finger to make our marriage work.
Went off to see if the grass was greener and when he found it wasn't tried to get me back.
I forgave the first time but not the 2nd time and now the absolute is through he is having a big tantrum because I refuse to remarry him.

OP posts:
LesLavandes · 26/12/2018 22:22

Mine due in New Year. Stbxh from hell. He just ruined our Christmas with his 'clever' tactics. Unfortunately I have a child and so cannot get rid of him completely.

LesLavandes · 26/12/2018 22:23

Oh, I didn't mean - unfortunately I have a child. .... I mean I fortunately I can't get rid of him completely because we have a child

letsdolunch321 · 26/12/2018 22:34

Cheers to all of you,,, here is to a happier 2019 💐🍸

HairBnB · 03/01/2019 17:07

Here's to you @Madcatladyforever. I am so glad that I got my divorce after a bit less time than you invested, but still well over a decade. I grieved for my lost years at first, felt as though I'd tipped my best years down the drain, but now I'm a much more rounded, happy, secure, positive, independent person than I ever was with ExH, and I can have as many cats as I like. I do have a fair few!

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