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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

And so it is done

25 replies

mamamooloo · 05/12/2018 07:28

Can't believe my divorce is done, got the news yesterday my consent order has been sealed. My decree absolute was applied for on 12th Nov so hoping it comes through before Christmas.

for those of you going through it you will get there ! I felt like this day would never come and as my life has been on hold all this time I almost don't know what to do first!

Feel free to ask me anything (I went through Bury St Edmunds court) xx

OP posts:
Tiddleypops · 05/12/2018 08:31

Congratulations! Here's hoping you get the absolute as a Christmas present! Flowers

How long did it take from application to now?
I've asked solicitor to submit application today. In theory, our circumstances are straightforward, but there's always time for him to screw that up Confused

Original poster
mamamooloo · 05/12/2018 10:44

Hi @Tiddleypops sorrry you are having to go through this too! It does help when you both agree the rest is just waiting for the process!

Yes very hopeful I'll be officially divorced by xmas or at least new year but now the consent order is approved and decree absolute has been applied for I know it will sail through now.

Just been back over all the dates, bear in mind this is through bury st Edmunds court...other regions may be longer or shorter.

Applied for divorce on grounds of adultery 23rd April

My ex, the "respondent" then received the papers from the court for him to sign, not sure on exact dates but I know he had a deadline of 5th June to return them.

Decree nisi was agreed 27th sept - 24 weeks after I first applied!

Consent order was applied for (to make our financial agreement legally binding) on 12th Oct & agreed on 1st Dec (7 weeks)

Decree Absolute applied for 12th Nov...still waiting...xmas eve will be 6 weeks.

So I would say 8 months from application to decree absolute! Far too long!!

OP posts:
lovealab · 05/12/2018 12:49

Congratulations Tiddly, how do you feel having taken that next step? x

Tiddleypops · 05/12/2018 13:03

Eeesh 8 months, in what sounds like a fairly straightforward agreed divorce? Well you got there! 2019 is going to be a good one for you Smile

@lovealab, thank you, it feels like I've started the process of taking control of my life again, and that feels great! Grin

Original poster
mamamooloo · 05/12/2018 13:20

@Tiddleypops
At the point that the divorce was applied for we had agreed the divorce terms as adultery but it took awhile to get him to agree to a divorce on these grounds. I did draft a petition based on his unreasonable behaviour previously but he would t agree to the behaviours, it didn't make a nice read. He eventually agreed that adultery would be better for everyone! (Also it was the reason we split) Otherwise we would have needed to wait for 2 years separation which would have meant starting this process now.

We thrashed out the financial side before applying for the divorce. This delayed me applying for the divorce as I didn't want to do it unless we had a deal that allowed me to buy him out of the house. That was very difficult to be honest but we got there in the end without mediation etc.

OP posts:
lovealab · 05/12/2018 13:22

How do you think your H will respond? Mine didn't acknowledge (although not living at the same address so not even speaking!) but I've now applied for the Decree Nisi.......I expect he's going to feel like he's been run over by a tank emotionally? x

Tiddleypops · 05/12/2018 13:31

Hmmm well it's difficult to say. He's very good at denial and ignoring things in the hope they'll go away. However when forced into a corner, he's more responsive and I'm hoping I'll know he's had the papers because we're still in the same house.

I can't believe your H didn't respond. It must be infuriating, as it just causes more delays.

lovealab · 05/12/2018 14:50

Tiddlypops, I can! I expected it, he made his 1st wife wait 5 years for a divorce and refused to sign the AOS (although she petitioned on 2 yrs separation) I'm not sure if he's actually aware that I don't need his consent? ....the evil part of me hopes not as it'll be a huge shock to him to realise that his not signing hasn't achieved what he thinks will happen......
It's not just the delays, it's the extra cost in having him personally served....add an extra £160 to the basic fees already paid out! Angry

lovealab · 05/12/2018 14:52

Our Husbands must've been Brothers in a former life - alcoholics - although mine was a VERY secret drinker, & the denial & ignoring things in the hope that they'll go away.....he'd rather stick his head down the toilet than face up to real life & consequences!

Itsnotme123 · 05/12/2018 19:39

It must be a relief to have it all over with.

Others on here said their divorces took 8 months with Bury st Edmonds. We are still sorting the consent order. So I’m expecting the DA around February in time for my birthday :)

Movingon86 · 06/12/2018 16:51

My Nisi came through today. Application started on 18th August the day I moved into my new house. On countdown for my 6weeks 1 day xx congrats OP xx

FishesThatFly · 06/12/2018 17:06

My absolute was made official the day after it was requested, so you may already be divorced. I didn't get notification that l was for about 3 weeks.

This was via East Midlands divorce court last month

Original poster
mamamooloo · 06/12/2018 17:20

Wow @FishesThatFly which court was this? I was so focused on my consent order when I rang Bury for an update I didn't even enquire about the absolute! Yes that 6 week countdown is so annoying. What do they think is going to change between the at least 4 months from applying for the nisi & having it approved!! Would love to see some divorce reform in the UK..

OP posts:
Original poster
mamamooloo · 06/12/2018 17:21

Sorry @Movingon86 I meant to tag you in the above comment xx

OP posts:
FishesThatFly · 06/12/2018 18:20

We split June 2017. Nisi granted November 2017. Court order submitted Feb 2017 and denied May 2017. Resubmitted June 2017. Court order passed October 2017. Absolute applied for Nov 2018.

FishesThatFly · 06/12/2018 18:21

I didn't apply for absolute until court order was approved

DeeStopia · 06/12/2018 18:24

Why was the order denied fishes?
I applied this week. I really hope it takes less than 8 months (though we haven't sorted out any of the finances, I can't face him.)

FishesThatFly · 06/12/2018 18:26

The Judge wanted further information on the financial split and what the net effect would be for us both.

DeeStopia · 06/12/2018 19:22

That's interesting- we've been separated for 6 years and until this summer, I'd been quite willing to let him have it all. My solicitor said that the order would most likely be denied if I did that (and that would be the right thing to do- I was quite willing to give up everything) Hmm

FishesThatFly · 06/12/2018 22:30

Judge's now adays prefer a 50/50 split.... give or take...

So my exh thoughts of keeping his £300,000 pension, £40,000 savings and having half the house would have been dismissed even if I'd have been stupid enough to have agreed it....... twat

MissedTheBoatAgain · 07/12/2018 02:32

Pleased to hear that some Divorces don't drag on like mine did.

I filed in March 2015

Nisi issued March 2016

Decree Absolute November 2016

20 Months of stress and costs.

MintyT · 07/12/2018 03:23

I can't remember ( I don't want too) but he left me in the August and I was divorced from him in the following May. I took the paper to be stamped to court myself and I wanted the divorce to be completed on our 20th wedding anniversary

Emrel · 07/12/2018 04:03

Good for you! Congrats. ( it’s lovely to know that this will end at some point) DH has just told me he’ll be out of the country for 3 weeks at a time each month from next year. Why is it that the system allows parents to walk away from their kids and yet not force them to make a financial contribution? And I agree it takes way too long!

PutYourShirtOnMartin · 07/12/2018 04:48

Congratulations !

My divorce took five years and cost me ten times what my wedding had cost 15 yrs before.

Ex H hid lots of financial stuff etc so we played a waiting game.

Enigmam · 07/12/2018 05:21

I applied on 1st October, it was sent out the beginning of November. As it stands the acknowledgement of service is sitting in a pile somewhere waiting to be processed due to backlogs. This is at the West Midlands unit. God knows when I'll finally be divorced. This is after waiting 5 years as I just didn't want anymore grief 😔

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