Separated since April 2017. Still under same roof as ex wont move out.
For as long as I can remember we have taken alternate days at the weekend with the 3 children. He has them Saturday I have them Sunday. Not a problem, boys are used to this method.
He now wants to look at alternate weekends. We have the FDR on Dec 18th but this is unlikely to be the result of the overall separation and finance settlement and I’m loathed to unsettle the kids with the change he wants.
Boys are 9, 8 & 6. 8 year old suffers terribly with anxiety and stress resulting in tummy aches and anger outbursts which are present at school too. I’m helping him as much as I can and things have settled very recently. I worry that no mummy for the whole weekend will tip him.
9 year old would also struggle and is less open to discussing his feelings about it which has equal concern.
I don’t trust him. It’s always about him. The alternate Saturday and Sunday has been ok but whereas I vacate the house for the whole day for him he’s never done the same for me so I have zero trust that anything around an alternate weekend could ever work.
He’s in remission from cancer (which will inevitably return), and many a Saturday late afternoon when I’ve returned home he’s been laid on his bed and the boys have told me that’s what he’s done most of the day. Little niggle in the back of mind about this too.
I haven’t replied to his suggestion yet but am thinking rather than stick my barriers up and say flat out no, explain my fears about this affecting the children, the fact that while we are still under the same roof I have full entitlement to be in my own home even when it’s his weekend and that mediation could be an option...if this doesn’t appeal then the child custody and access will have to also go through the court process....???
Any ideas help suggestions VERY much appreciated