So my estranged husband only wanted the divorce papers served at work and this is the address I used when I applied online. Papers finally got issued in August, but there was a backlog at court dealing with responses. It looks now like he hasn't filed a response, so I have the option of paying for a process server to go and find him at work. He's changed his address with some of the credit card companies and has given our mortgage company a correspondence address which I don't have. I'm advised not to contact him at all since the police cautioned him 7 weeks ago for harassing me and making various threats.
He indicated he wasn't going to agree to any financial proposal (we're talking about splitting debt here not assets aside from our house which we've only had for two years and the deposit came from the sale of my former home). Once fees are taken into account plus the Help to Buy loan there is minimal equity which I've suggested should mean I simply take on the house as I earn enough, and I have three young children to house.
I'm just reluctant I think to take the next steps of filing for financial matters (not even sure if I can if I don't know where he is?) and paying for a process server to go to his workplace which will be embarrassing to say the least. I know I shouldn't be bothered about his privacy as he is even dodging the CMS - they've put him on Collect and Pay as of last week because he's stopped paying his other ex for his older child as well.
But we cant live in limbo, he hasn't contributed a penny since he left in July and I want to concrete the position for me and the kids. I have very up and down days and I'm starting counselling this month to deal with all he's put me through.
Is it the right thing to do now, to just grit my teeth and get the process moving again?