Am I expected to sell?

[headbangez]

Husband wants a divorce. He is insisting we sell the house and split it 50/50. I'm a stay at home mom so definitely can't afford to buy his half. I really don't want to move. I want our children to continue to grow up in this house. It seems unfair to uproot them. This is their home. Is there a way we can stay or am I going to have to sell?

No one can answer that without knowing a lot about your assets. In very general terms, the sale of the house can be delayed until your DC are out of education if there is enough money to keep paying the mortgage etc, and for you ex to be rehoused too. But as you can imagine, lots of factors to take into account.

It sounds like a lot of “insisting” from him! So that needs to stop. Have you seen a solicitor yet?

No, I'm being told what to do as usual. I can't afford a solicitor. I'm just a stay at home mom.

I can't afford a solicitor.

Find a solicitor who will defer payment until the financial settlement, good legal advice will be worth it for you. ( not using friendly solicitor as a friendly shoulder, stay focussed). Inform yourself, this is where you get to see the up side of your husband wanting a divorce, all tbe best.

Unfortunately I just can’t see you being able to negotiate delaying the house sale without a really good solicitor on your side. It is expensive of course but as Finally says, you should be able to find someone who will take fees from the settlement once it’s all sorted out, so you don’t have to find the money upfront. They will be really used to people being in your situation. Not all will offer that by any means but ring around and I am sure you’ll find someone who will. You may have to pay a small amount on account to get started, would a family member help with that maybe?

I just can’t see you being able to negotiate delaying the house sale without a really good solicitor on your side

Sorry I’ve just realised that sounded like I didn’t think you personally were capable which is totally not what I meant! Just that it’s a complicated argument and loads you need to know, and clearly you have an uncooperative ex.

Nothing at all to do with your negotiation skills!

Yes it depends so you need legal advice. I had to sell up I’m afraid and I had small children. If your exh wants to sell I would say it might make It more difficult for you to keep the house especially as you have no income. Is there a mortgage? Depends on other assets eg savings, pensions, also on earning capacity of both of you.

Thr answer to this is possibly as the first poster said. Go on line and see what child maintenance is for his salary, there is a calculator from the government, and then work out if you could afford to maintain it. In addition, you may be entitled to spousal support, this depends on the length of the marriage, the age of the kids ie above school age and you'll likely be expected to work, and also the limitations their ages place, so for example school pick ups etc and then also what the custody arrangements are.

You do need a solicitor, but you can make a claim against him for paying their fees. Most provide a free thirty mins, as a first off, so go with that to ask the questions.

When a divorce happens, everyone ends up poorer. That's life, sorry. And to be honest, you don't get to insist on staying in your house because you want to remain a stay at home mother. If there is a 50-50 split and there isn't any money, then yes the house might need to be sold so that you both have a home. See a solicitor and find out what your options are.

Suggest looking at info on Citizens Advice website. How much are mortgage and bills at your current property ? How do you expect to afford to live there with no income ? Your children deserve to be housed, but it doesn't have to be where you currently live. Can you start looking for work. Get minimum 3 estate agents to value the house. Then gather info about pensions, savings, other assets

I don’t know your circumstances but I have three children all under three. My husband is also trying to get us to sell the house which I won’t agree on. My solicitor has put forward for a postponed sale, so if I remarry, move in with someone or my youngest turns 18 (she’s three months old) we sell then.
The factora for us are that child maintenance are actually more than the mortgage payment and the ages of the children favours me.

But definitely get a solicitor, you need one.

My solicitor lets me pay a certain amount each month that I can afford. The £550 for divorce itself has to be paid up front though.

Plus we’ve not been in the house long so there’s basically no equity in it. A court will always decide in favour of the children as there’s needs come first.

Unfortunately OP may well not be able to use the child maintenance payments to pay the mortgage if she doesn’t have any other income.

It sounds for you like keeping the house is definitely most sensible especially if there isn’t actually much equity. Hope you get sorted soon.

Not many Solicitors will enter into Sears Tooth agreement (ie fees paid from settlement). My Ex wife approached many Solicitors and was told that as she did not have any assets in her own name they would not enter into such arrangement. I ended up paying her costs myself which was reflected in the final settlement.

As for the comment:

I really don't want to move. I want our children to continue to grow up in this house. It seems unfair to uproot them. This is their home

Settlements are based on needs and what assets are available to divide. Ex husbands also need somewhere to live and to be able to survive. Wants and wishes will not influence courts decision.

My ex wanted to stay in the Family Home, but I was able to buy her out. Capital she received was sufficient to buy a house that met her NEEDS. ie 2 bedrooms. One for herself and one for DS who was aged 10 at the time. Ex tried to argue she needed 4 bedroom house as Daughter (my stepdaughter) needed a bedroom too and other was for visitors. Judge disagreed on basis that daughter was 22 and an adult who is responsible for supporting herself. As for Visitors needing a bedroom the Judge had a good laugh at that.

50/50 is a starting point.

Everything else is based on needs. Length of marriage and what you brought pre marriage.