Hi all - long time lurker, first time poster. It’d be great to get a woman’s perspective on my marriage (I don’t really have any close female friends/relatives who I’d want to unload this on...!)
A couple of weeks ago, my wife sat me down and told me we were getting a divorce. At first, I assumed it was something we could talk about; it rapidly became clear that she was adamant. I did the usual (I assume) - cried, pleaded, all a bit undignified!
In all honesty, things haven’t been good for a while. There haven’t been many big set piece arguments, but we’ve been going through the motions really. I’ve also been very irritable/snappy and critical for a while (including of her weight).
Having really sat down and thought about it, I think the main reason for this - frankly sh*t - behaviour is that I’ve been completely wrapped up/stressed by work for years now - it pays well, but takes over my entire week and great chunks of the weekend, so I don’t really ever contribute much around the house. That’s left to my wife (who also works full time, albeit in a less intense industry). We have a two year old daughter, and while I do loads on weekends, I have to admit I’m not really present on the weekdays.
I must admit I’m struggling at the moment - we have a lovely life (materially anyway), and it feels like there’s a lot to throw away. I get that I’ve been a pretty awful husband, but on the other hand I’ve never so much as looked at another woman, don’t really drink or go out, and pay all my money straight into our mortgage. It just feels like although I’ve probably worn her down emotionally, I’m not the world’s biggest b*stard.
What do you think - I will throw anything at it to save this marriage (though I’ve probably never looked much like I cared). Do wives who’re pushed this far just tend to make their minds up, or is there anything I can do to drag this back from the brink?