How to start a divorce - what order do I do things in?

[Iceland22]

It’s over.
Do we go to financial mediation first or do I start the divorce process?
Or both at the same time?

Can I get advice from a solicitor while going through mediation do that I know my rights?

Yes, seeing a solicitor first, during and after mediation is the best way to make it work.

Get the petition moving now, you need decree nisi before your consent order can go in.

Sorry but what is a consent order?

I’ve seen a solicitor, so do I just instruct her to start the divorce?

Can we use any mediation service or one that’s linked to the solicitor?

Any idea how long this takes? We are living in the same house and it’s hell.

Thank you for replying. My brain can’t cope with all this info. I work full time and have two small children. I can’t get to grips with the process. I’m usually switched on but can’t make sense of this.

Yes use any mediator. Some are much pricier than others. Some do legal aid.

The court ultimately should be asked to make an order dealing with your finances. If you reach agreement through mediation or other means, it is an order made by consent. If it is imposed after a trial because you can't settle it is an order.

I'd have hoped it would make a bit more sense after seeing a solicitor but you do sound very frazzled!

You can indeed ask the solicitor to start the divorce. She should have quoted you her fee and will need your mariage certificate and money on account.

Timescale is hard to guess. A divorce takes around 6 months but the finances can be much longer or shorter.

My longest divorce ran from 1996 to 2004. Still makes me feel a bit ill remembering that one. My fastest was around 4 months.

As he owns his own business we need to get that valued.
He is so horrible to me I just wish he would move out.
I’m going to ask the bank to stop any withdrawal on our savings. He wanted to pay his income tax using the joint account despite having over 10k in his own account!

One more question Bert. If we can’t agree regarding the children how long will that take?
I have worked only three out of the last six years. I’m back full time but flexible hours. I’ve done almost 100% of the school holidays - would the court really award 50/50 in this case? This is what he will go for to avoid paying maintenance.

You don't have to use a solicitor to submit the divorce petition....you can do that yourself (I down loaded the forms from the internet and there is help online)but STB ex and I are reasonably amicable and agreed to respond to all paperwork etc promptly.

You will need a solicitor to draw up the consent order (finances) though.

Good luck

Children would take up to a year to get to trial if goes to court.

Really a year. What happens in the meantime?
Do I have to live with him for that long until it goes to court?

He’s being so awful I can’t see how I’ll cope.