First court appearance tomorrow

[Stinkbomb]

H left me almost 2 years ago, but until I found out he was seeing another woman (also married, and a friend of mine) I was hoping there was still a chance for us.
Once I found out, asked for a divorce and got the decree nisi through this time last year.
Anyway, all this time later we are finally going to court for the financial order tomorrow.
I know this will just be an initial meeting but does anyone have any ideas what to expect?
And what should I wear? Do I need to be really smart, or will smart/casual be ok? I know it shouldn’t be important but it’s about confidence and feeling comfortable.
Thanks for any help or advice.

My God, talk about go in all guns blazing! He is not going to get a costs order! Only ever share what you're comfortable with. I hope that round two sees an end to this for you. Do keep us updated. You're doing great!

Just wanted to add that I represented myself at 14 hearings to divide four assets. I have a record of every trick of the trade as I have transcripts of every hearing. When you mentioned them going into great detail over your finances I remember the same. This was to put me under as much pressure as possible to get me to agree to ex's proposals whilst my ex was evading disclosure and HMRC at the same time. It also increases your costs and if they persist in claiming you are withholding disclosure they can ask for an order for you to pay his costs. Ensure that you have a copy of your replies, that they are sent recorded delivery and to be sure I would hand over a copy of your replies in court, the transfer would then be recorded on the transcript. Don't let this distract you from ensuring full disclosure by your ex - he must have chosen the expensive court route believing he could recover his expenses.

My ex's solicitor then claimed she had still not received my disclosure and applied for a hearing for an order that my bank supply duplicate bank statements despite the fact that I have a transcript recording me handing over my statements in court. I strongly advise that you get the transcripts, it proves to all parties that you will have a truthful record of the hearing and all assets disclosed at the hearing. It took five days of final hearings, due to ex's nondisclosure and his legal teams tricks, all this is now documented. Also , on record is judge advising me that my transcript was helpful as it saved him having to refer to his notes when it came to making a judgment. Do have a discussion with your solicitor as to your future needs in respect of housing, income and pension. The court's statutory obligation is to ensure your needs are met, this is set out in section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act. It is not a stage for overpaid barristers to bully and harass to justify excessive charges. I am sure much bad behaviour would stop if he knew it would be on a transcription.

All the best and I hope this helps in some way
Stay strong and focused
Daisybarker

I'm doing this in Jan. Sending you support and good luck x

Daisy Excellent post and I absolutely concur with everything you say. It really is quite astonshing the lengths that some will go to under these circumstances. I am slightly alarmed by the appearance of a barrister at OP's FDA and I am sure that we can all conclude the reason for that.

It sounds as though you had a similar battle to me...what should have been three hearings turned into 10, it's just outrageous and I will always be grateful to the last Judge who saw straight through my ex and handed me the lot. You DO have to keep your wits about you and very extensive records of absolutely everything.

Pickleface Good luck to you, do start a thread if you need some support!