How long to negotiate financial order

[NearlyFree17]

I don't know if anyone can help or comment on this situation

TL;DR: Is there anything I can do to speed up house sale on divorce?

STBX and I separated in January. He is divorcing me and applied for decree nisi about 2 weeks ago (BSE divorce centre)

Our house is on the market. I am living in it at the moment but am keen to sell and move on.

However I believe it would be wise to get the financial order agreed first before selling the house? STBX has agreed in principle to a 60:40 equity split but of course he could change his mind in the meantime.

We are waiting to exchange Form Es - STBX is dragging his feet. Does anyone know how long roughly it is likely to take to get a consent order negotiated and drafted once the solicitors have exchanged these?

I completed my Form E and got all the documentation to my solicitor in February. STBX still hasnt got his pension valuation done but apparently has everything else.

From bitter experience it depends on how cooperative he is, my ex husband dragged out everything possible and argued every single point, along with his solicitor taking 6 weeks to reply to every email it was very time consuming!
The court sealing the order only actually took just over a week. I've known a few people to have everything sorted much more quickly though! I hope yours is as speedy as possible, it's a very stressful time

Meant to say, mine took 2 years, yes YEARS!

Blooming heck, 2 years? Its in my ex's interests to move forward as I am still living in the house and he is due a big chunk of equity. Its just typical of him that he can't get round to sorting out paperwork.
I'm trying to be zen about it but would just like it to be sorted.

Thanks. I don't have any need to rush. But if we have a buyer for the house then that will obviously put time pressure on.

The stupid thing is that I initially suggested a Mesher order for a 3 year period and he was having none of it. At this rate the 3 years could come and go without any agreement due to his inertia.

Ours has been going on since January. We are selling the FMH and both getting new places. We agreed the amounts and splits in March. Since then the lawyers have literally played tennis with the legal terms and details. Its almost a joke, his has picked everything apart and each time I tell mine to cave in and agree, his comes up with another issue. its cost me £7k in legal costs and the consent order is still not finalised or been sent to court. Not only that, his solicitor has insisted his client only declare his basic salary on the shortened financial form which makes the order look very unfair and hugely in my favour (he actually earns more than double his basic salary). So even when it goes to court I'm panicking that the judge wont even agree it and we'll be back to square one!

My consent order took about 8 months, we agreed all finances by ourselves but solicitors did query sections of it. Pension did take a while though!

oh god this is sounding nightmarish. In theory we have agreed the important issues which are

60:40 split of assets (equity in house)
Keep own pensions
Keep own cars

We don't have any other assets, neither of us has a business, both UK born and resident

What else can there be to argue over?

nearly we were pretty much the same. Agreed the house split share, maintenance payments and to leave each other's pensions.

It's the solicitors who have split hairs over every point and we've paid probably £15k for the privilege 😩

If he's delaying over pension and Form E could he be hiding the real value? Most company schemes will not take months to get CETV.

That's the only reason I can think of..60% might not be a good deal if compared to his pension.
Consent order could be pretty quick but only if he's reasonable about it.

Your solicitor will not feel comfortable confirming a consent order if there is no disclosure as there is a duty to advise.

We are about to be finished .It has taken a year,cost a lot and as we were coming to the end of the firm E process,with him delaying,he finally put our first agreement on the table again which we are going ahead with.This took a year!

Hermonie I have a fair idea of what his pension is worth as I always dealt with the money so I know he is not concealing anything. His is a money purchase whereas mine is a public sector defined benefit scheme, so although I am a lower earner my pension is probably worth similar on paper to his but is lower risk. I'm happy to keep mine and walk away from his.

I do want the Form E and everything done properly.

I'm wondering if we should take the house off the market as it seems unlikely we are going to be able to proceed anytime soon. the uncertainty about moving is really stressing out DD (age 6).

As others say it can vary widely. If your ExH opts for inertia as mine did you have a choice waiting for him to become motivated or spending money to go to court for them to motivate him.
It can take years my ExH left 5 years ago despite the financial order that is currently before the court being exactly the same as what we agreed when he left the house it has still taken all this time to get him to this point.

In that case it looks like I need to forget about moving anytime soon then. Crazy really as you would think he'd be keen to get me out of the FMH, and get his share of the money...

Yes, my stbxh wouldn't agree finances and I continued with house sale.It meant that when the funds came through they would have had to sit in solicitors accounts until finalised.

In the meantime stbxh had planned to buy a house but I could not until equity released so would need to rent.No motivation for him to agree and so I had to pull the plug on house sale.

We have now been to 2 mediation sessions, and STBX is dragging his heels over the provision of documentary evidence, studiously avoiding my emails for further information and generally being an arrogant swine. At the last session our mediator told him that in the 15 years she has been mediating (and prior to that a lengthy time in the probation service), he is the most difficult person she has ever had to deal with. I am considering abandoning the mediation process and issuing proceedings via my solicitor but am worried about the costs. We are still sharing a house AND a bed because I don't have the funds to move out until we can at least agree a financial settlement. I may then take out a short term loan to get things moving until the settlement materialises...my solicitor has advised me that if we go down the legal route, we will have to wait at least 6-8 weeks for the first court hearing, at which the judge may decide he/she needs more information, then we have to wait for the information, then another 6-8 weeks for the second hearing etc...I don't know if I can stand it for that long. The situation at home is toxic.

I would definitely leave the house on the market because if an offer were to be forthcoming I think it might concentrate his mind somewhat.

Has he agreed contact with your DD and child maintenance already or are you just going to rely on CMS?

Will 60% of the equity be enough to rehouse you and DD if you are the lower earner. I have know 70/30 splits in such cases.

Thanks everyone.
Hermionie that is exactly what I can see happening. But as allthebest says, I am hoping that if we did get an offer it would motivate him to hurry up.

Its been suggested to me that if we at least had a signed consent offer, even if it had not been sealed by the court, that would be enough certainty to proceed with a sale.

STBX is currently paying more than the CMS amount in maintenance, and is having regular contact with the DCs - I feel he is being reasonable about this. I just feel that his refusal to get on with the paperwork is his way of keeping me under his control still.

I went through the sums with my solicitor and she felt that 60:40 was fair enough. It will rehouse me and the DCs as fortunately I have a decent full time job and we have quite a bit of equity.

order not offer