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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Money obtained during marriage

23 replies

zozozoo · 03/04/2017 04:42

Hi a couple of months ago I received some money from family to put towards a deposit on a house. I have a letter to prove it was given to me rather than to us and that it was intended for a deposit.

If i divorce the h now would he be entitled to any part of this money? Wondering if, assuming it's ok with the person who gifted the money, I ought to return it or give it to the kids before starting any divorce proceedings?

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 03/04/2017 07:23

It depends a fair bit on what the other assets are, and what you and your husband's respective needs are.

You'd have a case to argue it's non matrimonial property, and therefore not in the pot, but that's not ironclad.

You need to see a solicitor.

Original poster
zozozoo · 03/04/2017 07:34

We have no other assets unless you count a car that we'd be lucky to sell for 1000 pounds. He'd be in the higher rate tax bracket in the UK while I'm on 0 hours.

OP posts:
LalaDipsey · 03/04/2017 07:44

I would definitely return it until the divorce is final or you will have to split it with him

LalaDipsey · 03/04/2017 07:45

(In my opinion - I'm not legally trained - just been through a divorce!)

plasticcheese · 03/04/2017 09:12

Return it otherwise he'd probably be entitled to half. Is he aware of it? If so then you need to cover your back.

MrsBertBibby · 03/04/2017 18:35

Are you outside the uk?

WeAreEternal · 03/04/2017 18:37

As PPs have said, you need to return it until you are divorced otherwise he will be legally entitled to half.

EnormousTiger · 03/04/2017 19:13

If he knows about it and you return it though you're in a right old mess. It was definitely a gift not a loan?

Wikky · 03/04/2017 19:16

What if he just received a big bonus? Would you expect half? ( I hope you wouldSmile)

Is your break up really acrimonious? Is there any chance you could agree with him that you can keep it? It would be safer than trying to hide it.

Original poster
zozozoo · 03/04/2017 22:22

Yeah he knows about it. We were going to buy a house with it! But morally he has no right to it. It depends what mood he's in as to whether he thinks he should have part of it or not.

Haha yes i would expect and am receiving part of his bonus this year. His career prospects were not affected by having our kids!

OP posts:
Original poster
zozozoo · 03/04/2017 22:26

Enormous tiger why do you think I'd be in a mess if i return it?

OP posts:
Original poster
zozozoo · 03/04/2017 22:27

And yes it was a gift not a loan

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 03/04/2017 22:35

But morally he has no right to it. It depends what mood he's in as to whether he thinks he should have part of it or not.

Not sure if morals come into legal play in UK. See a solicitor and cover your assets. Especially if you have kids in the event of a divorce.

I live in a country where a pre-nup is legally binding. Thank god. I might be in love but I am NOT stupid to the reality....

EnormousTiger · 03/04/2017 22:55

If you return it is like a divorcing man who gives his money away to his family. It is dissipation of assets, like someone going into a care home saying they have no money when last week they gave it all away to their family. Presumably the courts could undo the gift and freeze the assets of the family member to whom it was given back. On the other hand if it's not very much money then no one will be bothered doing all that - so it rather depends on the amount as to how likely that would happen.

However he pays 40% tax and you earn very liittle I assume and there may be young children who need to be housed so it might be reasonable that a clean break financial order gives you that money and in return he just pays child maintenance and you up your hours to a full time job or some other settlement like that.

Also you wll both need a bit of money to get a deposit on a new place to rent and moving costs and a few egal costs of divorce so you bioth might need this money just to do the divorce (or some of that money for that purpose).

Wikky · 04/04/2017 02:01

I think this is a really tricky situation. Is there any possibility that you can sort it out amicably. If he knows about it then there is no point trying to hide it now.

EnormousTiger · 04/04/2017 08:27

That's the problem. He knows about it so if you hide the money or give it away it's like all those usually men in divorce cases including the big ones ni the pres where the money is hidden off shore or given to friends who just happen then to help out the supposedly impoverished previously rich husband after they have been "given" the cash to hold or hide.

babybarrister · 04/04/2017 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
zozozoo · 04/04/2017 13:36

Ok thanks all. Didn't think about the dissipating assets aspect. Guess I'll have to get some legal advice!

OP posts:
babybarrister · 04/04/2017 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillMasen · 05/04/2017 11:43

Yet again on here advice to a woman to hide and protect assets which should be split when any male ex who does the same is vilified. Sometimes this place isn't a nice environment for a man to be...

babybarrister · 05/04/2017 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EnormousTiger · 05/04/2017 13:59

Bill, Have you read our answers? I and the other lawyers have all said don't hide it. So are you reading what you want to see or what is actually written (and I write as a woman who paid an awful lot of money to a man on divorce by the way - many of us do these days and of course neither of us hid anything)

BillMasen · 05/04/2017 17:45

Tbf yes the legal advice was fine. It was the "cover your back" or "return it until it's sorted" type of comments that always appear on threads this way round but never when it's been a man "covering is back"

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