Talk

Flip

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Advice on separation

6 replies

Kikka75 · 24/03/2017 18:08

Hello all I have been married for 8 years but in the last 3 years we have become roommates. We spent 8 months on a couple therapy which did not work. We have a 6 year old with special needs (ASD). As soon as we received the diagnosis, I quit work so I could spend more time with the kid. I used to an account manager. My husband is a contractor and earns around 120,000£ per year. We owe a flat. The solicitor I met today said I will get only the kid maintenance and hopefully I can stay in the house. I gave up my career for my kid as he need extra attention. The solicitor said that the judge would tell me to go to work while the kid is at school! I find it hard to believe that as a mother of a SEN kid I do not deserve any help from my husband. My salary was 35,000£ and now I have nothing. I feel I am trapped. Thank you for any advice

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

MrsBertBibby · 24/03/2017 18:28

Get another solicitor. I'd expect spousal maintenance to be on the cards in those circumstances.

Thanks

Report

Hermonie2016 · 24/03/2017 19:48

Yes, even if you did get a job that fitted within school hours it would not bring in an sufficient income, even if you added in tax credits.Therefore to close the gap SM is likely.
I think courts are keen for mothers to show willingness to work in some capacity but it does have to realistic.Your age is also a factor.
Consider other assets like pension and any other savings.

Thanks

Report

Kikka75 · 24/03/2017 21:34

Thank you! What do you mean by pension and other savings? I am 41 by the way. I have some savings and my husband keeps a good chunk of his salary in his company. He pays himself a monthly salary and the rest stays in his company.

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

Kikka75 · 24/03/2017 23:04

Thanks for your advice! I felt so depressed when I left their offices today. When I chose to give up my job for my kid my husband agreed too. I think it is unfair I get nothing because I am not a disable and the judge will tell me to go out and find a job! I am 41 by the way. What do you mean with pension and other savings?

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

WatchingFromTheWings · 24/03/2017 23:07

What do you mean by pension and other savings?

If your husband has savings or a pension, you're entitled to half.

Thanks

Report

HeddaGarbled · 24/03/2017 23:24

It is unlikely that your ex will be expected to support you financially for the rest of your life. When your child goes to school, especially as they get older, you will be able to work. This may have to be part time and obviously your earnings are compromised by your time out and your childcare commitments. That's why the solicitor is saying you may be able to stay in the house - you get a bigger chunk of the equity to compensate for your lower earning potential.