Telling the kids - advice please!

[dhlonline]

Hi all after 18 years we are divorcing. We make each unhappy, and he has decided that enough is enough, although I am unhappy with this and want to keep on trying. He had an affair two years ago, which is over and he says there is no relationship with the other person.That does seem to be the truth, although who knows. We want to tell the children this weekend that we are separating. They are 17 and 15. I want to tell them the truth, that daddy doesn't love mummy any more and he is leaving. He is unhappy with that and would like something more nuanced. Advice please!!

I don't think the kids need to know that. I think at their age you can say that you can't get along anymore and sometimes things happen like that. You've tried but have to split up to remain friendly

Don't say you don't love each other. Say you want to try living on your own to help your friendship. Maybe? I am sorry you are going through this.

I wouldn't tell them you want to keep trying, it will give them hope.
They will probably want to know practicalities st their age so they don't feel uncertainty over what's going to happen. So I would tell them you are getting divorced because you no longer are happy being married and focus on the plan ahead and practicalities of how this will affect them - who will be living where/ if you will all be moving or not etc. Good luck.