Kids refusing to go to dad's....

[dontwannamakeitworse]

My children are saying they will refuse to go totheir dad's if his girlfriend is there (they don't like her). I've encouraged them to go... But the situation isn't getting any better... Do I have to make them go? They want to see dad... But not her... My youngest is upset every time.... We don't have a court order... What do you guys think? Or what can I try? I've spoken to ex about it... Really nicely and suggested a few things to ease the situation but I don't think he's taken anything on board....

How old are the dc?

12 and 9. I really don't want to get into a spat with ex but it's making my kids unhappy

He kids aRe old enough to make up their own minds .... A court would listen to them to. Don't dorce them.

That's force them

A court may listen to the older child but the younger one is too young. Try mediation.

Just let him arrive and take them if he can.
Tell him that he is free to take. You can pick up a 9 year old and put it in the car. Make sure he knows that they don't like his girl friend and they will come if she's not there. What is wrong with her? tell them how wonderful she is or how many expensive presents she will buy them and that might persuade them. Do you like her?

Thanks for your replies. We are now at the point where the kids have refused to go this week. I have spoken to their dad about what the problem is. Obviously he's not happy about it and I understand that, but he's also not really seeing it from their point of view... his response was a mixture of 'its your fault, its their fault, they will just have to get used to it, the kids are rude (they are not!), they are being difficult, gf is perfect and couldn't have tried harder....'
I don't know gf so cant comment either way. All I know is the kids are really unhappy. This week they asked if they coud have a weekend on their own and he said no... so they have tried to ask him but feel like they aren't being heard.

I want the kids to keep seeing their dad as I think its important and they do love him. They are now very anxious about what could happen next. Ive reassured them that this will all get sorted one way or another...

I just don't seem to be able to get him to see it through the eyes of the kids.....

Any suggestions would be much appreciated

tia