How do I start proceedings

[1983mummy]

My New Years resolution is to start divorce proceedings. After 11 month split and circumstance of the split it breaks my heart but I know we can never get back together. I can never forget what he's done.

I kind of get the three parts of a divorce and I think my ex and I can sort things amicably but just how do I set the wheels in motion? Do I meet with a solicitor to get a feel for what I'm entitled to or do I just file then myself then meet with one?

Whilst my ex is a twat i don't want to bleed him dry as I want him to get his own place soon to be able to give our dd a normal upbringing from both parents.

Also our house it mortgaged and we both have about 60k in it however the Erc is about 6k so we couldn't sell til the fix rate ends in August. I would consider buying him out but the house is too big for my dd and I.

Any guidance would be much appreciated as I'm so confused. I have had my 30 min free sols appointment for when we separated so id have to pay.

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I would choose a solicitor off of the Resolution website as these specialise in family law, and they should be able to kick start things for you/ advise on next steps. If you've been separated 2 years (I think that's the required period) or if you are filing for unreasonable behaviour I'm sure they can start to get the ball rolling pretty quickly.

Good luck x

I did this recently. There's no reason you can't kick things off yourself first - you can apply for decree nisi and then agree finances prior to applying for decree absolute.

I'd certainly suggest seeing a solicitor at any point you choose, to see what you're entitled to, but that aspect is dealt with separately. Then if you can come to an agreement, you can get it drawn up into a 'consent order' which you both sign and submit to the court. The consent order needs to be drawn up by a solicitor, but needn't cost much if you've both already agreed what's to go in it.

The legal board is also really useful (under 'other stuff' I think) as there are family solicitors who post on there.

Up to you really - but you could always buy him out of the house in the consent order, and then sell up in August by which time it will be fully in your name. Within my finances I'm due to buy him out of the house. On the assumption that I'd then be looking to sell asap, there's an allowance built into the figures that I'd have to pay an ERC. Then you have the choice of either selling up or waiting.

You can start the divorce yourself as suggested. The first step is to fill out a D8 petition form and send this along with your marriage certificate and court fee to your local county court.

The court fee is now £410, but you can get this reduced if you have a low amount of disposable income.

You can download a D8 form here hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/HMCTS/GetForm.do?court_forms_id=1115

The fee exemption form is called an ex160 - also available from above site.

After this first stage comes the application for decree nisi, at that point as previously suggested, sort out the finances. If you are verbally agreeing I would suggest a clean break order, a solicitor can do this for you or there are web sites too. I think clean-break.co.uk do then for less than £100

If you cant be bothered with all the fuss of the form filling then a site like www.click-divorce.co.uk will do your divorce for you for around £120

Dont be frightened to do this yourself or online, you will save a fortune.

best of luck
KD