So I LTB

[dibsforme]

20 years and now I am a statistic. I messed it all up and should have told him before he came to uk as now I am having difficulty getting him to leave.
I can't believe that his problems and ge is trying to blame me
I can't believe I let him control me for so long and even now he is still in control.
Why can't he just accept defeat and fuck off.

Why can't he accept defeat and fuck off? Because to him you are a challenge and he wishes to keep controlling you. Do not let him, he does not have the choice of keeping you in his life, he needs to know this. Earn him that you will deem any further communication towards you as harassment and you will go to the police. Communication about child issues should be short and sweet. Go and seek help from woman's aid and many solicitors will give a free initial consultation. You may be able to get legal aid on grounds of abuse, it is worth looking into that. You will probably need a police reference number and a gp report. Abuse can be financial, physical, mental or emotional.

Chin up and good luck.

He has gone. Why don't I feel relieved? I have gone really panicky.

It is normal to feel like this I think. You are starting a new life - after the panic comes peace of mind.