Angry husband

[Donerelate]

Have posted a few times. Quick summary is that after 14 years of marriage me and dh are separating. He has moved in to the spare room and we are going to start looking for another place to move in to in the New Year. He has said I can stay in the house, although I have said from the outset I would be happy to move.

He is angry. I can understand, but I do not know how to handle it.

Things have been rocky for years. This morning he even said we should have split up before dc, so 10+ years ago.

He is angry because he says he has put so much effort in to it, and feels like I haven't. Not true.

Not sure why I am rambling on. Just do not know how to handle his moodiness.

Why do you need to handle it ?

Just ignore it. If your decision is made, just hurry the practical aspects along ASAP and detach from his anger.

I am a bit confused. Are you moving to a new place together ?

Hi, thanks for responding.

No not buying a new place together. He is going to buy something on top of the house we have got. Well that is the plan, assuming the finances add up.... I am very lucky in that respect.

I know I need to ignore it, but it is so hard being in the same house. I am trying to remain upbeat for the sake of our girls. He then has a go saying I seem to be carrying on as if nothing has happened!!!

Just cos I am not going to the playground in floods of tears ffs.

My DH is a grumpy bastard at the moment too and very hard to live with. Unlike you two we're not splitting up so I'm kind of having to suck it up for the sake of the kids. There's no point trying to talk to him because he's like a great big defensive teenager.

Anyway, it's not ideal but it is what it is so I just try to bumble along. I'll sometimes say to the children 'Dad's very stressed and is not coping too well so he's angry. It's not your fault so don't worry too much and don't take it personally'.

You may have a long few months ahead of you. Do either of you have bolt holes like parents or siblings houses you can go to for a break from each other? It would be good to get away in the Christmas holidays.

I don't mean to be flippant but I always make sure he has the beer he likes in the fridge because it has a calming influence. It's very hard work though living with a constantly grumpy man is soul destroying.

Tell him to move out if he can't keep a civil tongue. I can't stand these bloody manchildren.

I offered to move out (not sure where!!) but he said that would make no difference.

I am hoping that he will take the children away to his parents for a few days between Christmas and New Year as I think things may blow.