Do I go back?

[Twinkletwinklestars]

Hi

My dh & I have been apart 7wks now.
I've been so strong up until this weekend. Last night I craved, told myself I'm still madly in love with him. I txt him this I told him I was so sorry for whatever I did to him.
He invited me round today so he could spend some time with his dc & I.
The past had been tough, he's been controlling,scary & rough with me. My heads telling me stay well away

My heart.....
I just feel lonely without him. I was doing well but I miss him.
Just don't no what's best for my dc.
I feel like I'm being sucked in literally. Like he has a massive hold over me still.
Not sure what to do

Only you can make the decision Hun.

You left for a reason, if that reason hasn't gone away then you should prob look at whether you miss him or being with someone.

In the meantime have a hand to hold xxx

If your head is saying 'stay away' then stay away.

It's normal to miss even a shitty partner, but it's likely you're missing what he could have been not what he actually is. Letting go of a hoped-for future hurts. But that's never a good reason to return.

In your own words: "The past had been tough, he's been controlling,scary & rough"

You do know what's best for your DC. And for you. Just keep reading this over and over again.

Thank u

I just can't stop crying,can't sleep.
Feel like I'm smashed to pieces like its all getting harder.
I can't seem to come back up at all. There's nothing left

keep going. It's hard to leave and hard to stay away but if he is a controller and angry man your head is right. Could you do the freedom programme to help to see people and to strengthen your resolve? It wold also help you make good choices in the future if you want to date.

Foolonthehill
It's harder to predict his thinking now.
I find myself apologising to him promising I won't push his buttons.
I miss him madly which I no is crazy.
What's the freedom programme? X

Not that crazy: traumatic bonding...actually makes it harder to give them up. You will be grieving what you never had as well as what you did. keep going, it will get better I promise.

the freedom programme www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/.

The Freedom Programme© is a domestic abuse programme which was created run by Pat Craven. The Programme was primarily designed for women as victims of domestic violence,to learn about the issues, beliefs, attitudes and behaviours which make up domestic abuse.

The Freedom Programme© examines the roles played by attitudes and beliefs on the actions of abusive men and the responses of women victims and survivors. The aim is to help women who have experience domestic abuse to make sense of and understand what has happened to them, instead of the whole experience just feeling like a horrible mess. it also shows the contrast between abusive relationships and non-abusive, supportive relationships.

You can do the course online alone but it is free to attend a group in person. the link above will let you search for your nearest course. the advantage of this is that you meet real people who have similar experiences and stories and can gain insight and support from them, as well as making some friends.

PS I still spend far too much time worrying about what my abusive ex will do/not do. really to be healthy and whole we need to just do what is RIGHT and what works for us and our DC...when we get there we will know we really have reclaimed our lives.

Twinkle you seem a nice women listen to you heart and get back with your husband it's the best decision you can make , 7 weeks apart is enough time for him to think about his mistakes and bad behaviour towards you. Sit down with him and talk Communication is the best tool for solving problems. Don't listen to those who said don't go back do it for your kids and for your self remember all the good time you had together as a couple and as a family

God bless you

Thanks foolonthehill
Still apart hoping I'm getting a bit stronger

His lies to other ppl about me are coming undone

Want to move away from him start a new life with my little 1s