What would I be entitled to?

[LifeChangingMe]

I am in the process of separating from my husband for many reasons. In 1999 I gave up my career to have children and raise them, my youngest is now 8. I also have mental health problems that make working difficult.

I am scared of separating in case I end up with less than I have now, but I am tired of his threats to divorce me and leave me with nothing. I am tired how he has control over all financial matters where I have to ask to even buy toilet rolls. I don't want to lose my home and be penniless. What would I be entitled to? He is in a good job as a pilot and has advanced his career whilst I raised the kids. He now lives in Spain.

Are you living in the family home? How many children do you have? Essentially all separations start at 50/50 and then look at reasons to go one way or the other. Obviously children is a big sway towards you and the fact that you don't currently work and he is away.

My advice would be to ring round some solicitors and get their free half hour advice. Probably you will end up with a lot more than 50% then maintenance depending on how many children there are 15% for one, 20% for two - not sure if it goes up anymore after that?

When I divorced my ex, I wasn't working and there wasn't any money apart from equity in the house - of which I got 85%. But if there are savings etc - it's complicated .... That's why I would get advice from solicitors x

Oh, one more thing. Sadly If he lives abroad I think I am right in saying that they cannot force him to pay maintenance - as soon as he returns you can hit him for it but not if he lives abroad. He would have to agree to it. But possible you could use this in a argument for a better agreement from the settlement?

He works for an irish company. I have 3 kids, one is his step daughter aged 21, the other two are his dd 13, and ds 8. Yes I am living in the family home joint owned by me and him. I worry he will not pay anything as he lives in Spain, but he comes back here every 6 days to see the kids currently, but only cos he can stay in the family home.

no one on hear will be able to tell you what you will get. It depends on a whole bunch of factors which you have not diclosed (and even then it wouldn't necessarily be possible)

THings to consider
Do you have assets that would allow you both to have a reasonable split and share re housing (eg could your Husband afford to buy a flat or smaller house without the need for selling the family home?)

Can you afford to stay in the family home? If you are not working and your DH has to pay to live elsewhere how will the mortgage and bills be paid? Do you have a mortgage/equity/another property. Will you need to sell and split the proceeds and buy somewhere else?

Are you able to find work? what did you do prior to giving up? unless there is significant pots of assets and your DH is a very high earner (not sure if pilot qualifies in this category) you may not get long term spousal maintenance - just for an interim period to(a few years?) allow you to get on your feet. You need to think how you will support yourself if this is the case

Are there any pensions? you would be entitled to a share of this

where will the children llive (with you i presume )- what maintenance will you get based on his income?

Many wives (and SAHM) get a larger share of assets than 50% due to the requirement to house children and having stopped working to raise them - but its unlikely he will be expected to support you forerver these days. (unless assets are huge which most people dont have)If you got 50% + and more do you have an idea of what that would mean to you - ie keeping the house or moving, will you need to work or not, etc.

Seek Legal Advice to discuss so you have a better idea based on your own circumstances