Stopped eating and drinking

[autumnalannie]

(name changed but been around for - long time now…)

Mil - 3 years into Vd/alz, still at home cared for by FiL (who has resisted external help), little to no recognition, often very sad and sometimes aggressive - has mostly stopped eating and drinking this week.a couple of mouthfuls of water, and a night on a drip on Monday Is still able to leave the bed to go to the toilet, but little else.

Any ideas on what we can expect? I know there’s no miracle cures, and this is probably the beginning of the end, but would welcome any other experiences.

Is it a swallowing issue? If she’s really not eating or drinking it sounds like she needs to go to hospital.

@autumnalannie i have just been through this experience. My thread was called something like “advanced dementia refusing to eat” if you want to try and find it.

DFs appetite suddenly decreased dramatically. Within a week of that he was down to spoonfuls of food and sips of water. GP confirmed he had entered end of life stage. I chose to withdraw supplements which were pushing calories and move to care for comfort.

GP saw Dad on the Thursday. He was prescribed anticipatory meds that day and taken off all unnecessary medications. His syringe driver was fitted (sedative and morphine) on Saturday. He slept very peacefully through to his death on Thursday morning c.4am, a week ago. He just slipped away.

If I could give you any advice it would be to spend as much time with your MIL as possible. I read to Dad and had his favourite music on. I spent upwards of 12 hours with him every day and only went home to sleep. It’s given me such comfort since he died.

I hope this is helpful, please feel free to ask any questions.

This stage lasted for weeks for us including 6 weeks in hospital. Had to pace myself.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/elderly_parents/5575074-advanced-dementia-and-forgetting-how-to-eat

@autumnalannie here you go - there’s a lot of shared experiences on here.

@harriethoylethank you so much for sharing your experiences. Sadly she is the other end of the country so I can’t be there as I’m left with the children whilst DH is there for his mum.

her mother died when the swallowing stopped; it was a long and tortuous decade in a care home. If this is the beginning of the end then at least it feels mercifully faster than that.

It’s hard for you in a different way if you’re holding the fort @autumnalannie - just try and support DH with calls and texts, maybe the kids could make cards for granny? She may not be aware but DH will.

I would strongly advise a GP appointment because Dad’s GP was spot on about how long he had left, and that made it much easier for me to put plans in place for work and home etc. Good luck

GP has visited today and it feels that wheels might be starting to turn for palliative care. Rubbish but at least it feels like “something”.

im so sorry this has been so recent for you but so appreciate your advice xxx