Turned down by care home

[TheRemainsOfTheDayCream]

My aunt with dementia has just been turned down by a care home because they say they can't meet her needs. It's because she hates the sound of the personal alarms going off in her present care home (and I sympathise with her because the alarms are very noisy) and has been going into other residents' rooms and disabling the alarms.

I've been warned that other care homes may turn her down for the same reason.

I'll be asking the social worker's advice when she arrives back from holiday but, in the meantime, I wondered if anyone else has had this issue?

Some homes have a silent room alert system. My dad's second place did, and it made a huge difference to the atmosphere.

How sensible @BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn. It's good to know some homes do things differently. I sympathise with my aunt as she is tormented by the sound of the alarms going off all day and night. I would be too.

Some care homes have quieter alarm systems or different ways of alerting staff. Hopefully the social worker can find somewhere with better facilities for her needs, as the constant noise clearly seems to be upsetting her.

The social worker told me that all care homes had these alarm systems, @Wajeehakamran, but clearly that's not true. It's good to know there are other options as my aunt will be so much happier without the noise. I think it's finding an appropriate care home with vacancies that will be a problem.

My father's care home also has quiet alarms. It also has different levels so those with 'milder' symptoms are on one floor with access to the secure gardens and are more social. The next floor is for those with more challenging symptoms and its more secure with a higher staffing level. There's a separate nursing wing and also a palliative care section. Residents can move as their condition deteriorates without having to change home. It's really well set up and the staff are excellent.

That must be really worrying, but it may be less about her being “too difficult” and more about finding a home that can manage sensory triggers and dementia behaviour properly. If the alarms are distressing her, then simply moving her somewhere with the same setup may not solve it.
I’d ask the social worker to help identify homes with stronger dementia experience and be very upfront about the alarm issue from the start. It’s better to find a place that understands the behaviour than one that accepts her and then quickly says they can’t cope.

And visit them if you can op. Im not suprised your aunt is stressed.

Thank you, @SleepingisanArt - your father's care home sounds really good. I don't suppose it's in Colchester?

@dehillsvot - you're right about the sensory triggers. My aunt suffers from anxiety and has always been sensitive to noise - although the alarms in this home would drive anyone crazy. I don't understand why the home thinks it's ok.

I raised this issue with the social worker the first week my aunt moved in, but she said all care homes were like this!

@Casualuser - yes, I will definitely visit first. I visited the two on offer initially, convinced which one I was going to choose - and that one turned out to be awful. Unfortunately it's costly every time I go up there (100 miles away) as I'm self-employed and it means I lose a day's pay. It's all very difficult.

I now have my aunt ringing me up and complaining that I haven't found her a new home yet and her care home sending me forms to sign that will make me liable for her debt as she has no power of attorney and I can't access her money yet. Obviously I won't sign the forms. It's so stressful to have people directing their anger at you when you're powerless to change anything and you're actually doing your best to help.