Feeling Lost

[Pushkinia]

My mum died unexpectedly on Saturday, after suffering from Alzheimer’s for more than 5 years.

I know she was in late stage dementia - she moved into a care home in June, after her care needs became higher than my dad and I were able to help with - but there were no warning signs. She was sitting up in bed, talking to her carer, she closed her eyes and stopped breathing.

I know this was right for mum. She was tired of the struggle and just wanted to go, she chose her own time, but I feel so lost. We’re in limbo at the moment. As the death was unexpected, the police and coroner and involved, so we’re waiting to hear if a post-mortem needs to be performed.

Dementia is so cruel. I’m glad mum’s pain is over, but it bloody hurts!

Oh I’m so sorry. You must be in shock. I hope it is comforting that she very clearly didn’t suffer. I hope the coroner is quick and none of this is too drawn out.

I hope you have a friend to talk to. It’s very sad. 💐

It is a comfort that she didn’t suffer and the care staff are as devastated as we are. They were in tears when we arrived on Saturday and all hugged us (while trying to serve lunch to other residents at the same time).

I have siblings in other parts of the country, who arrived on Saturday and Sunday, so Dad and I are not alone. We’re all unsure how to navigate the next steps, since it’s a waiting game until we hear from the coroner.

I'm so sorry, it's so cruel. And the suddenness of it must have been such a shock.

Use this time when you can't do anything else to deal with that shock and be together. There is no rush to do anything, do don't panic about it.

I once again, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum.