A belated Happy New Year to you all. It's been rather a hectic one for me. Monday I went to Mum's to let the Sky man in to pick up the box. He told me my Brother said I'd go out to Mum's with him (load of rubbish). Seems he was worried about Mum accusing him of steaking anything which wax fair enough but I was a bit hacked off how he went about it.
Inevitably he wasn't finished by the time the SW came but it's no bad thing as I know what was said so can refer back to it when talking to Mum. SW told her she hasn't got capacity but as capacity fluctuates she will repeat test in 3 months . That Mum should spend time recuperating and building up her strength as she went home a bit early last time and she doesn't want to set her up to fail. Mum said she'd have to accept it but is thinking about running away.
I walked SW up to the office and she said she won'T be gong home but felt it was kinder to do it this way. She emphasised to Mum it will do her good to go out for coffee with me, we were both saying treat the flat as a base. Also discussed gettjng her things around her. SW is applying for Dols (rather than the CH)so there will be a further capacity assessment as part of the process but SW said with her history it is very unlikely they will find her to have capacity.
SW also arranging the 12 week disregard and after that interest free loan on house to be repaid on sale of it.. I will need to see someone for another financial assessment on Mum's behalf. Also asked again that it is ok to sell Mum's house at this point (she originally said it would be ) as I don't want any nasty surprises. She said yes it's fine, then stopped and checked that I had the finance LPA as she has a lot of people at this point who don't and she has to say no you can't . She said she'd check with her boss if I liked to be 100% and I asked if she would and let me know (am waiting to hear).
The Health and Welfare POA will shortly go in to be registered but isn't relevant according to the situation as my Mother doesn't have capacity and SW have made the decision that she needs residential care, the family are all in agreement and as Mum talking about leaving Dols entered equation which is SW anyway in this particular situation. I have apologised to her for not going onto the a health one with my Brother so far away as don't want to make things harder in the future but she was lovely, said it made no difference to her and is pleased that Brother and I have been able to pull together to act in Mum's Best Interests to get to this position .
Mum is ok but obviously cross about the decision which she thinks is ridiculous. However her anger is at the SW. I have been getting a fair amount of bits into the flat and have the bigger bits of furniture going Tuesday (SW had noticed how attached she is to her sofa so that's going in). Some things she sent back. She is very very paranoid about people stealing her things so everything has had to be labelled with one of those security markers with a light and I am ordering Stikin labels for her things.
This morning she was in bed when I arrived with some stuff but said it was lively to see me. However she wasn't quite herself and a bit wobbly on her feet and asking whether she had mini strokes before. She couldn't open her combination lock and seemed just a little 'off'. Brother and I talked and think she's probably had another TIA, she has been rather wound up about the SW and being told she has to stay.
She complains bitterly about being there but has made a good friend who is going to come and watch horse racing at her flat on Sky (she is the only on with sky there). She's adamant she is going home in April so I keep off the subject and divert with anything I can think of, picture hanging was today's.
Not planning to go until the furniture van goes next Tuesday as am pretty tired and have things going on here this weekend and Monday.I'm starting a temporary job in a week or so which will fit well around school pick up. Nothing exciting but it has the advantage of me being unavailable to sort much of the house. Her cleaner will be doing some shortly. Was updating some friends on a dog walk the other day and one of them had done a lot of clearance for another one there of her FIL's house when her died and has said she will happily take over most of it for me as could do with some extra cash at the moment. We've worked ours an arrangement that my Brother is happy with too.
Brother and I are getting on fine. He was saying today he knows he needs to get to see her whilst she remembers. Whether he manages to get on a plane remains to be seen and I'm well aware is probably unlikely. He has his friends flying out with their toddler shortly. They are lovely people and their visit well timed -he listens to them and they talk sense (his Friend's Mum is a GP and has gone through the Alzheimer's route with her own Mum). I think he is now hugely relieved the decision has been made and has got his head round it being the only one in the circumstances.
So all going in the right direction. Not under any illusions that it will be plain sailing but counselling has helped me with my boundaries and taught me the importance of time out as means of self preservation so I feel on a more secure footing. Am hoping my posts from now on in 2014 will be much much shorter !