The votes have been counted and the result is in. No, really - it is. The result in "the one election that will never get ugly." Last year's runaway winner was once again triumphant, standing on a platform of five-inch heels. And putting forward policies of tighter controls on immigration, more lenient sentencing for pissed young women who smack cloakroom attendants and a more laissez-faire approach to Class A drugs (allegedly). The runner-up promised to save the world from marauding giant robots, but even this didn't help.
Of course I'm talking about
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