First post from a new member - fantasies about DP 'going solo' (long-ish)

[DadInTheNorth]

Preamble: Its taken me a lot of effort to get the tone right and express myself clearly without being tacky - I hope you don't mistake me for someone who lives under a bridge!

Recently, I've had some really erotic dreams about my lovely DP enjoying some 'me time' in a variety of different scenarios - including one where she used a cucumber. A cliché, I know, but it wasn't me being clichéd - it was my dream! For some reason, this really did a lot for me and my thoughts keep returning to it in boring meetings. I seem to remember a scene in a book, long ago where a woman did this.

I've told her about this dream, and I'd very much like her to act it out.

We're both a bit conservative, though recently I bought her a vibrator (you can see a bit of a theme here), and she's really taken to it and it has become a frequent part of our lovemaking. We often (OK sometimes) have 'solo together' sessions - pants off, kissing and each taking care of ourselves. Thats always good fun - I mention it to show that we're at least a bit un-prudish.

I don't want to keep bringing up my fantasy, when we have sex, but it would mean a lot to me. She's often good a forgetting things that stray, however slightly, from 'the usual' knicker off, me on top sawing away kind of stuff - nice though that is.

I believe she'd like the results of starting to explore a bit more, provided it was without any pressure and at her pace not mine. But perhaps the forgetting thing is a sign of not being keen. What do you think? She rarely takes the initiative in bringing anything new to the bedroom situation though I'm not upset about that - I've got the hots for her no matter what.

Am I being unreasonable to request she indulges me? I don't think so, but it is her body, and she needs to be comfortable with the idea and that's really important to me. I don't want to 'get my way' via emotional blackmail.

We are in this relationship for the long haul and I'm not going to go anywhere else for the sake of something so small.

How do I encourage her, with love and respect, to be comfortable with trying new things?

Should I expect her to trot down to Sainsbuggers then leap into bed, cucumber in hand and a smile on her face?

Should I tell her my erotic dreams and then try to put them out of my head?

Or should I just keep quiet about my fantasies? I feel this last would reduce the aulaity of our relationship, and she's not expressed any disapproval of me having these dreams.

Confused! Help!

I assume you are a Troll.

If you are not:

• vibrators are one thing, cucumbers are another. Vibrators are designed for women's pleasure, they vibrate and get warm. Cucumbers are vegetables. If you don't know the difference ask a counsellor.
• if you dreamed about cucumbers you might want to google some dream interpretation sites.
• under NO circumstances is this a LITTLE thing. If she thinks it's stupid unsexy or revolting then please respect her point of view and NEVER MENTION IT AGAIN
• if she knows your dream and fancies giving it a try then she will appear with the cucumber unbidden.

Please keep the outcome of this to yourself.

she knows your fantasy, you have told her.

Now it's up to her. You must never mention it again.

pmsl @ MTA'S "A cucumber is a vegetable" (although I think technically it's a fruit. A berry in fact if my QI watching is up to date

hmm a berry eh? well that changes things

lol at 'please keep the outcome to yourself'?

oh, and btw: good first post. Most of us ease our way in with a "in't Justin Fletcher fab" or a "my child has chicken pox what should I do" type post

Squonk, missingtheaction - Thanks for replying.

It not really the subject matter that I'm interested in - its working out what my expectations should reasonably be in a long term relationship - what's right and what's unacceptable. Thanks for sharing your point of view.

I think in a long term relationship there should always be something special left in the repertoire for birthdays and christmas

And yes, Justin Fletcher is fab!

your expectations should be that you respect her enough to know that you should only mention things like this once then leave it up to her to come back to you.

You treat her as you would wish to be treated yourself. Of course you want to keep the excitement alive and not get stuck in a rut but you wouldn't like it if she was on at you all the time to do something you weren't totally comfortable with (you would probably say she was nagging)

Trust me, she will not have forgotten about this. Things like this are quite difficult to slip your mind, no matter how hard you try.

Am quite surprised that you don't appear bothered whether it is a vegetable or a berry. I would think that would be of paramount importance

Certainly do not appear at the bedside clutching a carrier bag full of salad produce. That would be a bad thing...

Can I ask what makes someone decide that 8.30 in the morning is a good time to discuss masturbation with cucumbers on t'internet?

oh "sexual technics" was the fabbest thread ever. Am not going to open it and read it now because I know I will snurk and roffle and then I'll have to tell dp what I'm sniggering at and he just wouldn't understand.

But, DadInTheNorth, it's worth looking at if you want some handy hints on how to please your woman

This thread has cheered up my very boring Monday morning when I am supposed to be working!!!

I stand corrected Apparently, it is not a berry, but it is a fruit.

although there is no conflict with calling it either a fruit or a vegetable. For culinary purposes it is perfectly ok to class a cucumber as a vegetable.

hope this clarifies things.

< wipes tears from eyes >

ohhh, thanks for that, it certainly cheered up a dull Monday morning !

fruit, vegetable, fucking mineral, who cares

cucumbers are for placing on your tuna butty

not for inserting in your fanjo, they are not designed that way

ah, AF; you bring up an interesting point.

Are cucumbers designed or have they evolved?

Personally I go with the evolution route, but it's not to everyone's taste. Do you feel that there is some weight behind the "intelligent design" argument?

'cucumbers are for placing on your tuna butty' - is that a euphenism anyfucker????

now, I do like a nice bit of marrow now and again.

Not there!!!! For me tea!

Now I prefer lots of bone with my marrow...

I find it telling that marrows have evolved stripes, I would imagine tht is a handy way to make sure you insert them in the correct direction

I wonder where the OP has gone

thanks so much for this and the techic thread. after a day of tantrums with my 21mo this dose of laughter was just what i needed!

Glad I gave you some amusement - and yes I see the funny side too .

Sorry about not replying sooner - some of us have still got jobs to go to, you know!

spuonk - thanks for your 9:52 post. I didn't need to look up whether a cucumber is a fruit or a vegetable - hopefully that explains my lack of concern.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion - thanks for the link, anf here's one that might amuse you. Youtube - cucumber sandwich