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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

First post from a new member - fantasies about DP 'going solo' (long-ish)

79 replies

DadInTheNorth · 02/03/2009 08:26

Preamble: Its taken me a lot of effort to get the tone right and express myself clearly without being tacky - I hope you don't mistake me for someone who lives under a bridge!

Recently, I've had some really erotic dreams about my lovely DP enjoying some 'me time' in a variety of different scenarios - including one where she used a cucumber. A cliché, I know, but it wasn't me being clichéd - it was my dream! For some reason, this really did a lot for me and my thoughts keep returning to it in boring meetings. I seem to remember a scene in a book, long ago where a woman did this.

I've told her about this dream, and I'd very much like her to act it out.

We're both a bit conservative, though recently I bought her a vibrator (you can see a bit of a theme here), and she's really taken to it and it has become a frequent part of our lovemaking. We often (OK sometimes) have 'solo together' sessions - pants off, kissing and each taking care of ourselves. Thats always good fun - I mention it to show that we're at least a bit un-prudish.

I don't want to keep bringing up my fantasy, when we have sex, but it would mean a lot to me. She's often good a forgetting things that stray, however slightly, from 'the usual' knicker off, me on top sawing away kind of stuff - nice though that is.

I believe she'd like the results of starting to explore a bit more, provided it was without any pressure and at her pace not mine. But perhaps the forgetting thing is a sign of not being keen. What do you think? She rarely takes the initiative in bringing anything new to the bedroom situation though I'm not upset about that - I've got the hots for her no matter what.

Am I being unreasonable to request she indulges me? I don't think so, but it is her body, and she needs to be comfortable with the idea and that's really important to me. I don't want to 'get my way' via emotional blackmail.

We are in this relationship for the long haul and I'm not going to go anywhere else for the sake of something so small.

How do I encourage her, with love and respect, to be comfortable with trying new things?

Should I expect her to trot down to Sainsbuggers then leap into bed, cucumber in hand and a smile on her face?

Should I tell her my erotic dreams and then try to put them out of my head?

Or should I just keep quiet about my fantasies? I feel this last would reduce the aulaity of our relationship, and she's not expressed any disapproval of me having these dreams.

Confused! Help!

OP posts:
fryalot · 02/03/2009 18:08

it's the inbreeding

HeadFairy · 02/03/2009 18:15

the love that dare not speak it's name! Cucumber babies look quite cute actually, am I twisted?

NorkyButNice · 02/03/2009 18:19

I've heard you'll peel a courgette if you don't use a condom whilst pleasuring yourself with it.

Try explaining that one down at A&E ...

BBBee · 02/03/2009 18:25

come and join the 10/10 thread where we try and consume 10 fruit and vegetables a day plus 10 mins of exercise. we have to report back - it is very fulfilling.

HeadFairy · 02/03/2009 18:31

ooh norky, courgettes have spikey hairs, no good at all. I'd like to put a big shout out for the humble carrot.

Boco · 02/03/2009 18:38

I thought of suggesting that Bbbee, but was concerned that Franny might be angry if he came. (not came but you know, showed up wielding his cucumber and talking about portion sizes)

LucyEllensmummy · 02/03/2009 19:13

BBBee can we include grapes as a single fruit?

LucyEllensmummy · 02/03/2009 19:14

headfairy - carrots are not nearly so fulFILLING!

HeadFairy · 02/03/2009 19:21

Oh but you can get some giant ones LEM!

harleyd · 02/03/2009 19:24

laughoutfuckingloud!!
thank you for this thread, its cheered me up

AnyFucker · 02/03/2009 19:24

LEM, what took you so long to pop up on this thread ???

LucyEllensmummy · 02/03/2009 19:56

Thought id let you shine for a bit fucker! Sorry headfairy, but the carrot is just too hard - the courgette is just the right shape and feel!

AnyFucker · 02/03/2009 20:01

errrm, aren't courgettes rather wide ??

LEM, I am sure you cannot have a bucket-fadge

LucyEllensmummy · 02/03/2009 20:05

Would it affect our friendship if i did?

LucyEllensmummy · 02/03/2009 20:06

besides, compared to my DP - oh, im a lucky lucky girl!!

AnyFucker · 02/03/2009 20:59

you dirrrty burd lol

HeadFairy · 02/03/2009 21:12

but those spiky hairs LEM, it's a cliche but would a banana suffice?

LucyEllensmummy · 02/03/2009 23:18

oh absolutely not!! I do have a friend, and no it wasn't me - who used a peeled banana - they had to spend hours with a spoon hooking it out!

DadInTheNorth · 03/03/2009 06:05

I fear my questions about relationships and adventurousness within same has been lost amongst the ribald comments.

LucyEllensmummy - thanks for the info about courgettes - I hope it worked out for you, but sadly that not what I dreamed of.

The rest of you, thanks for the lulz. My next posting, which might be at a somewhat more godly hour of day, will be much more pedestrian.

If the LOML indulges me in this fantasy any time soon, I'll revisit this thread, but you may otherwise consider this correspondence closed AFAIAC.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 03/03/2009 08:11

yeah yeah, so who are ya

DadInTheNorth · 03/03/2009 17:03

Well, I'm not saying - the internet has a nasty way of being searchable. There's more in my profile than there is in your, though!

OP posts:
LadyPinkofPinkerton · 03/03/2009 17:25

Thank you all for this absolutely hilarious thread. I am suffering from tonsillitis and feeling rotten but this has really cheered me up.

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 03/03/2009 17:38

Also have never seen sexual technic thread before either, it hurts I've laughed so much

AnyFucker · 03/03/2009 17:56

ok fair point, DadINTheNorth

am not being nasty to you, I am still convinced you are a well-known regular who is having a larf (light-hearted) and that you will come clean soon

PersephoneSnape · 03/03/2009 18:31

i am gullible nice and accepting of peoples foilibles , so willing to accept that OP is asking agenuine question (and you, ladies are either a lot more suspicious or smart than me.. either way...)

I think, OP if you have mentioned it once, then you should probably leave it. the fact that you have got your missus to enjoy a vibrator, is fab. the fact that you share your sexual fantasies with her is brill. presuming you're real, you sound like yo have a fabulous relationship - if she wants to dill pickle herself, she will, because you seem to be happy to create the environment where you are both able to explore the slightly kinky.

of course , you might get some 'leverage' if you ask her what she wants to do with/to you and act on what she wants...but only because you want to make her happy, not in expectation of reciprocation. ask her to share her fantasies and indulge them, then you can return to the possibility of kew.

incidentally - would one pop a cucumber in the microwave to warm it up a bit, or would you get hotspots?

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