Things Men Need

[UnquietDad]

Following on from this list compiled by some vacuous fashion-obsessed airhead

here

is there a sensible list we can compile of Stuff Men Need?

A set of dumbells and a weights bench, a whole room to put said weights in, this room never gets used btw, its just for show when their mates come around

Someone to love, and to love them

oh, and copious amounts of computing paraphenalia of course....

All the cardboard boxes from every electrical appliance you've ever purchased. Just in case you ever need to pack them up again.

Oh Jackie! I am the one who does that in our house, not DH!

A good hi-fi.
Complimentary undies.
Really expensive cufflinks.
Nice pecs and a nice bum.
Mulling space.
Someone to stop them mulling.
A magazine stuffed with articles about Mariella Frostrup and Kylie Minogue. With pictures.
A quality writing pen.
The ability to not respond to their partner's every whim.
An ability to raise one eyebrow at a time.
To sing well.
A free purchase card for Boots the chemist.
A whole rack of gorgeously tasteful ties.
Excellent boots.
To be able to speak a foreign language.
To be always right.

A timer!

agree about the wires and the shed
Dh has a shed specifically for wires and cables of varying lengths and with different ends.
he also needs:
14 shirts
2 suits
4 ties
14 pairs of pants
14 pairs of socks
a wide ranging selection of grotty aged clothes that can specifically be worn with out style or colour co-ordination for doing jobs around the house.
a smelly dressing gown to be worn most of sunday
a laptop table
a laptop
22 differnet size batteries to be keptin pockets/bowls/side of sofa and available AT ALL TIMES
wifi
a wii( for watching bbc iplayer on)
some scaffolding
a manly two handled axe
a torch
a penknife
a jacket -to be worn on all forays away from the shed or house so all above items can be carried with hom and then are available at all times in an emergency
a midlife crisis shaped like a honda motorbike
a generator ( for emergencies again)

thats about it really

Oh yes - I agree with the boxes full of precious wires / computer bits / broken gadgets.

And with the box of dead batteries.

Add to that a box containing every mobile phone he's ever owned. Including the charger.

And lots of guitars without strings

Jeans covered in paint flecks and varnish stains that make him feel all 'handy'

A pair of grimey tracksuit bottoms he can have a toddler tantrum about when he gets home from work and finds them in the wash.

Band t shirts from his youth that are now far too small to ever wear again, but good for his partner to sleep in.

A swiss army knife

Loads of camping gear and outdoorsy clothes, despite the fact he lives inner city and hasn't been camping in years.

A good collection of spare lightbulbs and batteries, of every wattage and shape/ size imaginable.

1000's of pairs of black socks from primark which he can just throw away after every wear (or is that just mine!?)

a sat nav for the car,

which he tries to programme whilst driving,

even though he already knows the way.

You see? We have a new article between us already.

I think you missed one: a picky, whingy partner who is unreasonably irritated at everything and anything he does. And, it would appear, no longer finds those charming mysterious things she once found attractive to be so. No, they are merely fodder for mocking him in public on-line.

Makes you proud ladies, don't it?

Give it a rest, Barcode Zebra. There is no lack of love here. If we didn't find these things charming we wouldn't bother posting about them.

Sorry. Can't abide those stupid little yellow faces so I don't use them and then I get taken all seriously...

Should I be worried that Mrs Zebra isn't on here banging on about my foibles, then?

Fair enough!

How do you know she isn't?

She's at work.

Oh.

hmm..yes, with Barcode on that one...UD asks for things that blokes need..and we are inudated with moany-arsed stuff from women..

strewth. Give it a break. Angst at your loved ones. Please.

dunno but can i join the men on mumsnet please....i have checked my birth cerificate and everything and it says girl. but i dont think i own anything on that other list and nor do i have any desire to.

I think i would much prefer (and probably own) more from yoru list than ours.

Welcolme to the sanctuary that could be Dadsnet, MrMamazon......

Infact I am about to make a policy decision. From now on, I am going to confine myself to the musty, dank, locker room that emanates the secrets bestowed by testosterone, that IS Dadsnet. Any further virtual intercourse with with I engage on this site shall be conducted via this admirable portal.

Dadsnet has to be the worst named section in the whole forum

It used to be called "The Men's Room". With all its sweaty, dank, unsavoury connotations. WE got it changed!

worst as in most inappropriate, agree Men's Room puts entirely the wrong image in my head.