i think you are trying your best in a difficult situation. It may be that your ex may be fearful and feel threatened by your family set up, she may be worried that you daughter may enjoy her time with you both so much that she worries your daughter might want to live full time with you and is therefore trying to make it sound less perfect. (Does she have a new partner?) keep doing what you are doing, whilst it did happen quickly you are married and in a committed relationship. Let your daughter use what she’s comfortable with and probably mediation would help.