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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

Help - am I going mad? I feel like I'm being emotionally abused for being a bad dad

76 replies

Cumbria1978 · 07/05/2021 03:54

Hello, yes first post and I'm sure going to be directed to something existing on here... Which is great if so.

It's 4am and I've not slept yet tonight. Not because of our beautiful baby, but the thoughts running through my head of the continual put downs and criticisms I face from my wife.

I'm not sure if she's gaslighting or if I'm genuinely a terrible dad/husband/person, but without going too deep my whole world (personal and professional) is dedicated to serving others before me.

I work relentlessly and want to do my best in every moment I have outside this to meet my 4 month old daughter and wife's needs (have been together 11 years, I'm 39). Why am I getting it so wron

Can anyone share a view, whether telling me they empathise or to man up or otherwise.

OP posts:
Divineswirls · 07/05/2021 11:57

Then you may have to get her to read this thread and go to the shops while she does for flowers and chocolates

Cumbria1978 · 07/05/2021 11:57

Thank you plantsitter, yes I can formulate the emotion and response in the moment...it's the relentless ongoing put downs, comments and actions that I find harder to rationalise

OP posts:
Cumbria1978 · 07/05/2021 11:59

Yes, I might have to keep the chocolates for myself though as she's on a diet and I could do with the serotonin boost Grin

OP posts:
Divineswirls · 07/05/2021 12:00

It will be ok.

Sometimes husbands do need to take it on the chin because after birth women are still flooded with hormones on top of everything else.

Try not to take it personally and bring her gifts to make her smile and soften and relax as trite as that may be it shows you care no matter what. So at least you know even if she doesn't right now that you are being loving and supportive as much as you can

Divineswirls · 07/05/2021 12:03

Possibly keep a diary / note of all the upsetting things she says so if push come to shove you can show her what makes you upset. Or maybe for you just by writing them down will help you through it

Mistressinthetulips · 07/05/2021 12:04

How were things before the baby came? Her anxiety will be at red alert and she doesn't necessarily know what to do any more than you do - you are all trying to figure it out!
The "friends" from baby groups won't be looking after the baby, it's not the same relationship. I went to loads of baby groups but in only one would I say I found supportive friends, they can make you feel worse in a way.

ThePlantsitter · 07/05/2021 12:04

I think meeting up with other dads or talking to friends you have who are dads might help you (I'm aware this is one of the criticisms you're getting Grin).

My kids are older so I can look at this more dispassionately but there is an element of frustration in having to manage someone else while at the same time having to do this job which is all consuming and seems impossible at times. Then when they get the hump about you saying so you have to manage their emotions as well as everything else. I'm not saying this is fair I'm saying it is how it goes. I don't think it's unusual and talking to other dads might help you see this.

Divineswirls · 07/05/2021 12:09

Yes talking to other new dads or just seeing friends etc can do the world of good

Babyiskickingmyribs · 07/05/2021 12:13

Do you know the expression ´water off a duck’s back’? I think you need to find a way to ignore the emotion behind your wife’s criticism. Not because you deserve it, but because it’s likely to be temporary and your relationship with your daughter and you wife is likely to be better if you try to ignore the criticism rather than spend time and mental energy on it. When looking after the baby starts to get easier, and it does, you will start feeling more confident and your wife will start to feel more relaxed about things.
Oh and mum’s don’t magically know things like not to put bottles in the microwave or that you can take off baby grows downwards if they are covered in poo or wee. We read this stuff on sites like MN and in booklets from reliable sources like the NHS.

HartstonesMustard · 07/05/2021 12:15

My friends had their children before me and I remember my one friend saying that she honestly truly believed that she could wash a bottle better than her husband which she now sees as absurd. She warned me that I would probably feel like no one can change my child's nappy as well as me etc etc.

She was right. But Dh, like you, was hands on right from the start. And I left them to it. No one was there to judge me and my nappy putting on technique or see when I fucked it up during the day. However, Dh had Ds alone as much as he could as I was having a year long maternity as I had a great job that paid well to do this. Apart from feeding Dh could do everything I could. We were both first time parents.

How old is your baby now? It sounds like you are doing fine and your wife does need to stop commenting on your parenting. You are still learning and the goalposts move all the time. Your wife has the benefit of all those hours in the day to read cues and have the opportunity to put on all those nappies etc.

You need to sit down and talk gently. Her body is still recovering from growing a baby and her hormones will be in protective over-drive re her child. It is natural although for some that goes to extremes.

Our sons are now 18 and 15 years old and incredibly close to Dh. You are heading in the right direction. Just talk to her. You are not being over-sensitive.

Bramblebutter · 07/05/2021 12:18

As a ftm, I think I have put down my partner alot. I think it's one-sided because for me, it just comes out kind of sharp but I don't mean it to be. I've made my fair share of mistakes, but somehow he doesn't seem to come across as critising as I do. Another thing I think for me, when my partner gets it wrong or doesn't have a clue about meals and snacks etc, I worry about what if something happened to me, I need my partner to know how to do these things.

Maybe none of this is relevant to you OP, but I just wanted you to know that from my perspective, I don't mean to be so critical and short with my partner - who, like you, is a people pleaser who wants to get it right.

rhuds · 07/05/2021 12:25

Me and my own husband had similar issues when my little one was very tiny - mother's think they always know best! Unfortunately that isn't ALWAYS the case though, they are just aware of one way things work, and they are comfortable with that and get very anxious if anyone else does anything different to what they would.

When ended up having to happen is I was not allowed in the bathroom when my husband bathed our DS, and it was the same with nappies or soothing. Pretty much, if my DH had the baby, I was to trust him as an equal partner. He always had our DS's best interest at heart, and that is something I needed to remind myself.

Perhaps talk with your wife about it and say that you feel like she is 'micromanaging' your parenting (maybe find a nicer way to say it!) just explain that you aren't stupid, you love your daughter and will always have her best interest at heart and she should trust you and that if you don't know something, you are more than happy to ask for help or an opinion.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 07/05/2021 12:28

I mean if you've spent hours trying to calm her, then she started screaming but you just kept trying to calm her then I do see your wife's point. She did tell you to wake her if the baby was hungry. You said you new she was clearly hungry because she was screaming but you kept trying to settle her. If your child is crying for food you feed them. So I can see her point on that one.

Cumbria1978 · 07/05/2021 12:31

Shes always been a bit (at times a lot) nitpicky, naggy and critical, and has regular "moods" which are really obvious to me and others (not her)... but not to this extent, not without a more positive overall balance, and now the criticism mean more to me - my core desire and belief is to be a good dad - so it hurts when this is challenged, it's not like saying I didn't clean the cutlery to the right shine... Her positives usually far outweigh these criticisms, I love her massively, she's a rock, loyal, amazing mum, good to her friends and family and we share the same interests and humor...she's a superstar to me despite these little things, which currently feel a lot bigger

I have written some more offensive things down (I email myself - an example is when I said last week to that baby "I wish I didn't have to work so I could spend all day with you" and she chipped in with "no you don't, you don't want to see us on weekends"), but I'm not wanting to dwell in that past or make her feel guilty, I just want it to stop so we can move on. Bringing up nit bits i have always found pretty childish in relationships and would be rather ironic if I did it myself when her nitpicking is the thing that bothers me.

I'd happily talk to other dads and have a few friends a talk to, but the reality is that this won't solve my problem. My reality is that I'm getting criticised constantly, I've spoken to other dad friends who have naggy wives but there's usually some element of their wife seeing/admitting/understanding this. In my case, my wife doesn't agree it happens.

I don't think all the groups have necessarily been useful for my wife or us as a family, I genuinely am very happy she has the opportunity and clearly she benefits greatly from the support and social contact, but there's so many of them (further limiting our time together as a new family as any break I get she's usually out - and before it's suggested, I'm not jealous, just wish I saw them more), and so many different views from people who aren't actually invested in our life that people can share/transfer that I think it is maybe changing the way my wife views me and our existence together - framed no doubt by idyllic and probably highly filtered stories shared by others (I see the same in social media - people share their idyllic selves not their realities). I would join a dad's group if there was one for "dad mental health" or "supporting mums" but there's only ones on topics I have no interest in and I'm not going to force my agenda on others in such settings, hence posting on here and speaking to friends.

I get the point about having to manage someone else. My work is very stressful and I feel like I am managing several very hungry children all the time. My job is to manage so it is harder to be managed by someone else who doesn't understand or is uninterested in how to get the best out of me, say for example as my actual boss does: clear communication and expectations and balanced feedback. I'm pretty easy to manage if only the person managing me does this. Would work for my wife too.

All useful comments.

OP posts:
pigeonpies · 07/05/2021 12:37

OP a lot of posts here are ignoring and minimising your feelings and highlighting how hard it is for the woman, and does she have PND etc

This is unfair. Nobody should have to put up with daily criticism from their partner. Take a moment to explain how her actions are making you feel, explain that things need to change in order to create a calm family life you all of you.

You sound like a great dad and husband. Your needs matter too and the whole family until needs to come together to support each other during struggling times

Cumbria1978 · 07/05/2021 12:37

Thank you all for taking the time to post your comments, thoughts and reflections, it really is appreciated.

It's nice that you all are able to provide a balance.

I'm no angel. My wife isn't. No one is. We all deserve balance

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Cumbria1978 · 07/05/2021 12:41

Thank you pigeon pies. It's nice to hear that. It might not seem like it but aside from my wife and baby, because they mean so much to me, I am.incrsibly thick skinned. So I appreciate and predicted that people would share more of a mums perspective and that's fine and also right, but yes, the point of my original post was just to see from other people's point of view whether what I feel I'm going through is actually ok, and I'm just over reacting, or if it's something whether intentional or not, needs to be addressed. I think I've got my answer now

OP posts:
ThePlantsitter · 07/05/2021 12:45

I'm not going to bang on because I can see you've got your answer (and you sound perfectly capable of working all this through) but what you have written down as a criticism of you is actually a really useful piece of information - 'you don't want to see us at weekends'. It's not necessarily fair and it's a mean and unproductive way of talking- but it is how she feels. Why might she feel like that? What can you do to stop her feeling like that? you don't have to answer. It's just something to think about.

Melitza · 07/05/2021 12:45

I think you obviously need to , and are cutting your wife a lot of slack atm.
But when she does say something cutting, tell her.
Say. That really hurt. Please keep your criticism constructive. I want to be a good husband and father. We need to work together.

Your dw is probably very easily irritated and anxious atm.
But, there is no need for cruel put downs.
It shows a lack of respect.

TaraR2020 · 07/05/2021 12:46

Op, I really sympathise.

As others have said, this isn't uncommon. In terms of your wife's mental health, even if she doesn't have pnd it's still usual for the first year to really take it's toll on new mothers- the first 6m especially.

Everyone is told how brutal new motherhood is, but it still comes as a shock to each mother. Extreme sleep deprivation, body healing, breast feeding (can be painful)...many women find that their body no longer feels like their own. Early motherhood can feel like an assault on body, mind and self.

This isn't to excuse the way she's speaking to you, but to show she might not even realise it right now. This is why people keep asking you how she spoke to you before baby came along?

Its important because if this is new behaviour, the overwhelming advice will be to wait it out.

Have you spoken to your wife about this? Choose your time wisely, when she's feeling rested and relaxed and open up about how you're doing best but finding her attitude hurtful. You know its harder for her, but you just want help and she's making you feel terrible.

At four months if your baby hasn't yet sleep regressed, you might be about to enter that delightful period. But things do generally seem to get better after that.

You seem like a lovely, caring husband and it must be crushing to feel like you can't do anything right at the moment. Things will get better, you will have more chance to bond with your daughter and your wife will start to be herself again.

Keep talking, be patient, be kind and try not to let it get you down. You're both learning.

Melitza · 07/05/2021 12:47

And don't forget to tell her she's doing a brilliant job as a mum.

Cumbria1978 · 07/05/2021 12:51

Thank you all.again for taking the time to reply, this is therapeutic and useful in equal measures.

I have tried to calmly point out when the comments have been made but usual response is "you're overly sensitive/emotional" - probably true but doesn't mean it didn't happen and it doesn't hurt - it's that bit I'm unable to communicate coherently.

Tara thank you, that actually brought a tear to my eye. Yes I am very emotional today

On the weekends thing, yes I have listened, I put aside jobs last weekend and this weekend took today off work to do more together but then last night happened. It's fair to say that I do get nagged at if I don't do the house chores too so it's a fine balance.

OP posts:
Mistressinthetulips · 07/05/2021 13:05

Yes what could she mean by "you don't want to see us on the weekends"?

Cumbria1978 · 07/05/2021 13:14

I'm not sure if this comment was facetious, or curious, but my work involves on call and our house has a number of jobs that have needed to be done for safety and access reasons so recent weekends I have not been able to be with them 24/7 for these reasons. I understand that element of her comment to refer to that. As I have already replied I haven't ignored but have acknowledged and worked on that.

The point however was also about the dismissive nature of the response I got. "No you don't"

I do.

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idontlikealdi · 07/05/2021 13:23

I remember lobbing a dirty nappy at dhs head when dts were babies one Saturday morning. Not my finest hour.

But he had just told me he was going to cut the grass and do the gardening also involving a trip to the garden centre because it was a job that needed doing.

I had spent all week with refluxy babies. I would have loved to have been able to fuck off to the garden centre.

He just hadn't realise that those 'jobs' that he wanted to do had to ducking wait. My life had changed massively and he was carrying on like normal.

It was a massive wake up call for him.