Words we don't say, supposedly

[UnquietDad]

All of these are apparently words and phrases the laydees use and we don't.

Let's have a look at a few of them:

"Book club: A female dominated affair, perhaps because women read more fiction, or perhaps because men aren't very good at talking about it"

Or perhaps because we enjoy reading fiction, but the last thing we want to give up an evening for is to go and sit and sip wine and "discuss" middle-brow novels with middle-brow, middle-class neurotic women?

"Accessorise: If men were ever to use this word it would only be in the context of cars"

Or maybe we don't use it because it is a non-word that means nothing.

"Size zero"

Because it's silly.

"Pilates"

That bloke in the Bible who washed his hands.

"Absolutely beautiful: The words women often use to describe friends who are not"

Eh? I don't get this.
We have our own versions to describe beauty.

"Feminism: If even veteran feminists can't agree on what this means then it's probably best avoided by men"

I'd probably agree with that.

"Ms:
Extraordinarily, the battle continues for women to be allowed to avoid definition by their marital status"

Hmm, I've got into that one before...

"Middleton: As in Kate. Style icon or harassed paparazzo target?"

Or "pampered 24-year-old who we don't give a shit about?"

I can see the headline now:

"Women interested in different things to men shocker!"

I could have told them that and saved the researchers the bother...

Cheers,
Ian
The Expectant Father

Such things do get me over-heated.

UQD yo sound like my dp, your post is exactly that he'd write if could be arsed

UQD, very funny

"middle-brow, middle-class neurotic women".

Ouch. You're probably attending the wrong book club. Or not, as the case may be.

There's SO many more things we don't say, like:

Hey - what a great haircut, mate! Where do you have your hair done?

I think it liked that pair of trousers in the third shop we were in - let's go back there.

I prefer the off-white to the cream, don't you?

Did you remember to record that QVC programme about diamante jewellery?

"I prefer the off-white to the cream, don't you?"

How true!

We currently have four vastly different paint samples on our wall. DH is convinced I used one tester for all of them .

Anyway, life is much simpler having a man around who doesn't know his off-whites from his creams. I get to choose.

lol at the paint samples

To a bloke the array of colours like Stone, Cappuccino, Taupe, Irish Mist etc = BEIGE

to continue the paint samples thread...

When choosing a colour for our living room, I kept getting it wrong. Ooh I like that bit you've done there, is that Stone?
DW - "No, that's Magnolia. It's gross".
Me - "Oh, I thought that was magnolia".
DW - "No, that's summer strawhat"
Me - "What's that one, it looks the same?"
DW - "Are you blind? It's obviously off-stone, mild morning cream of cornish".
Me - "I need a pint".

Sounds awfully familiar....

'We' have settled on Driftwood, rather than Natural or Pebble or Milky White.

DH will keepreferring to it as Magnolia though

Seen one off-white, you've seen them all.
Never been sure why it matters so much...

Do you know, I feel the same way about routers. Doesn't stop my dh spending many, many hours checking out all the specs online and then more hours in the shop seeing how they 'hold'.

But there you go.

Do you mean wood routers (ROW-ters) or wireless broadband routers (ROO-ters)?

Whichever you mean, they all have different specifications and do different stuff. Paint just sits there.

I meant ROWter, although the latter would be the same.

And I know paint just sits there. But you have to look at it. And it has to be right...

And would you hold a broadband router?

They don't either do different stuff.

Row-ters sit in boxes and gather dust, irrespective of specification.

Roo-ters work until they go wrong. Irrespective of specification.

Now paint, on the other hand, is much more interesting

Ah now my dh's row-ter is well used.

So well worth all that time spent choosing it (or so he assures me).

Is this thread now about as interesting as watching "taupe" paint dry?

Never understood why my SIL went for a Sanyo all-in-one stereo with silvery bits and frankly awful sound when she could have looked in What Hi-Fi? and bought a really decent components system from Richer Sounds for the same price.

I explained the difference and her eyes started to glaze over. When I'd finished, her comment was "yes, but this does everything in the same box and it doesn't have cables trailing everywhere".

You might have the edge of shades of Dulux, but we definitely know the difference between an Amstrad and a Cambridge Audio (Yes it DOES sound very different).

Maybe it's something to do with our primeval past where the group of men have to listen out for game to hunt and the group of women have to gather the right fruits...

Daddster, I nominate you for quote of the week .

And another thing...

Conversation between my mother and father:

M: The car's broken.
D: What's the matter? Won't it start?
M: I don't know - it just won't move.
D: Well, is the engine turning over when you turn on the ignition?
M: I don't know what that means.
D: Does it go "rrr...rrr...rrr" when you turn the key?
M: Look, it's just broken - go and have a look at it.

Sometimes it's even worse...

Daddster - it can be a bit like that getting people to understand computers too. It was an education for me trying to get my mum online - every term I used had to be stepped back from and explained. Not necessarily a gender thing though.

I'm with men on the paint colours thing

I can't seem to get DH to say rooter rather than rowter though for some reason - he's meant to know these things. I think its linked to how he can't say ingots ("ignots") and how if he reads hermione it always comes out "harmony"