Need a man's opinion please.

[nikki81]

Hi. I have never posted on here before but just need some advice. My OH works in Germany in the week and I stay home and look after our 3yr old and 7 month old. I don't have a problem with this but he has alot of friends abroad and spent a weekend away a few weeks ago so we didn't see him for nearly 2 weeks. I found this very hard and asked him not to do it again which he agreed he wouldn't. He came home this weekend just gone and has 2 days off today and tomorrow and asked if he could go back to germany to pick some bits up for his car and maybe see a friend, I said yes. He was meant to take 2 days off in a couple of weeks time but has now said he can't get the time off work. I just feel abit upset as it seems he can never turn time down to get things for his car but is always turning time down with his family. Am I being unreasonable? I understand he needs his own time too and wants to see some friends. Just need a mans opinion please?

You do not need a man to tell you, but he is having his cake and eating it isn't he!

Oh, thanks for that! I did wonder, but im always being told im being unreasonable.

If he is telling you that you are being unreasonable then no wonder, as he is using it to get what he wants. If he is the father of your two children then he has a responsibility towards them and you. It is sad that your kids are not having that much interaction with their father.
It is not for me to say but why would you not live out there with him if his work is over there?

If I were you I'd do some serious "checking out" of his life abroad. When someone tells you you're being unreasonable about something clearly NOT unreasonable there is a possibility that person is not who they claim to be if you catch my drift.

Hi. I trust him 100% and know he is not up to anything. Just spoke to him and he had a right go at me and is now saying he might still get the time off (which he didn't tell me.) He is entilted to see his friends and it was in the working week so made no difference to me but I still don't see that as an excuse. I know I will get it in the ear now when he comes home friday and he wont ring in the week.

It does make a difference to you if he has given up his holiday allowance which will mean he will spend less time with you and the children at some other time won't it?

Well thats good. Intuition is always right. I just know 2 people who discovered their husband had another family. Very shocking for everyone.
I would reccomend that you think about how you need the relationship to be and then decide on what compromises are acceptable for you to make and then tell him exactly how you feel but try to do it in a non-accusatory way because you don't want an argument you want an adult discussion.

I hope you manage to sort it out. It must be so hard to be looking after 2 young children on your own all week. You deserve a wonderful spa break with lots of aromatherapy massage!