Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Dadsnet

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

ahem...this sounds really dumb and naive but what is a male orgasm???

36 replies

sassygirl · 05/02/2007 11:13

We've been married 15 years and anyway I always thought we had a very active and pleasurable sex life.

I dont even know how we got on to this subject but my dh said he's never experienced an orgasm. Im like what the... I thought when a male blows he has an orgasm. I dont understand what he means, like I am gobsmacked. I'm thinking of all the kinky things we've done together and he's had zip.

If you've found this page in your search of the best couples sex toys that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for couples useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:

Original poster

sassygirl · 08/02/2007 10:11

thanks kidtraks I really appreciated reading that and all the other comments as well. (taking off the paperbag from my head)

I was feeling really inadequate and taken back by it all. My dh doesnt hav a problem with the idea of not having an orgasm cos he really enjoys and wants (if he could 10 times a day) sex. No big deal to him he said "what he doesnt know he doesnt miss". I just assumed, I never knew this before MN and google, that ejaculation does not automatically mean orgasm. So everytime he came I assumed he was having an orgasm.

Thanks MNrs for all your support look forward to sharing with ya my next drama....

{{{big hugs n kisses}}}

p.s (whispers) DH doesnt know about this he'd be mortified if he found out so shhh keep it a secret

OP posts:

HappyDaddy · 08/02/2007 23:27

Orgasms are different, for me, depending on the act that brings them. Each one more intense than the other, I'm sure you can work out what i mean.

HappyDaddy · 08/02/2007 23:28

As a teen, i used to be able to have one after the other after the other with no breaks. That was a really amazing eye opener.

themildmanneredjanitor · 08/02/2007 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

sassygirl · 09/02/2007 03:06

tmmj- thats just it he is ejaculating but no warm fuzzies b4 or after iykwim. What prompted this revelation, we're havin convo bout how deeply we love each other(see dh works away from home so every time we have together is always so intimate and special and precious...)which led to hope its still this great when we're 80 and he just came out with it. Just like that. All he said he doesnt know what if feels like to have an orgasm. First I said yeh whateva and fobbed it off and he went all serious on me.

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 09/02/2007 06:46

Hmmm, this is an interesting problem. He says he has never had an orgasm, not even solo?

It's certainly true that a) different men have different, intensities of orgasm and b) men can orgasm without ejaculating.

I'd wonder if he was maybe orgasming without realising it, and expecting more from it? I think this because a recent study showed that a significant percentage of anorgasmic women were having orgasms, but weren't very impressed by them. (I'm more than a bit for them.) They could tell the women were having orgasms, because they were having uterine contractions etc etc.

I'd think about ways to make his orgasm better, I guess, or his ejaculation anyway. (You can't really argue with someone and say 'yes you are really, they're just shite') More teasing, taking longer, prostate stimulation?

themildmanneredjanitor · 09/02/2007 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pruni · 09/02/2007 09:34

Message withdrawn

NotQuiteCockney · 09/02/2007 10:17

Pruni, there are some sorts of spinal damage that can cause that problem, too.

tmmj, I don't totally buy the 'if he wasn't having orgasms, he wouldn't bother with sex' argument. I mean, lots of women don't have orgasms, but still enjoy sex without. (Ok, I'm sure they want orgasms, and try for them, but still.)

I do agree that he may well be having orgasms, they're probably just not as impressive as the fuss about them would lead him to expect.

(Anyway, according to the only person who was qualified to judge, women enjoy sex ten times as much as men. Ok, I'm going on the word of a mythical greek, but still. )

Original poster

sassygirl · 09/02/2007 11:13

Ummm I dont think he has had a spinal injury apart from the odd falling of horses, motobike, waterski and skateboard stack nothing serious. He suffers a bit from a sore back nothing major. I dont know what more to say, I have to believe him he's never given me reason to lie about anything before let alone this. I mean why would you come out with something like this for...

I feel awful as it is cos all I kept sayin to him on his last day at home was "your'e kiddin me, are you sure, nup dont believe you...." I'll ask him when he returns how he'd like to tackle this issue see a specialist etc Cos it must be eating at him otherwise he'd not have bought it up. But why wait so long to say anything....maybe he knew I noone would believe him. Oh thats so awful

OP posts:

DrDaddy · 09/02/2007 15:11

sassygirl - I think maybe he should consult a GP and or urologist to get himself checked out if he's concerned....although you say he isn't? It doesn't sound like it's physical and as I mentioned in an earlier post, orgasm is a function of the brain connected to a muscle reflex (ejaculation).
However, ejaculation does occur in 2 phases - emission and ejaculation proper.
Sorry to get down to brass tacks, but I presume he's not just emitting semen (like in a wet dream), but is having rhythmic contractions forcing it out?
Another suggestion is looking into stimulation of the prostate which is now considered widely to be the male "sex centre" which is well known to increase the intensity of orgasms....

Flip

1 2