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Dadsnet

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

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Original poster

Men. Do you mind if she fakes it?

75 replies

Spidermama · 26/01/2007 13:36

Would you rather your dw/p faked enjoyment of sex from time to time, or would it be better if she just said 'no thanks' on occasions where she wasn't really up for it?

Would you be offended to learn she fakes the odd orgasm?

OP posts:

HappyDaddy · 28/01/2007 19:23

If you're both relaxed and the man pays attention to his partner's reactions then it's not difficult to be tuned in.

TMI time: I like bringing dw to climax during foreplay. That way, she's still floating when we're having sex and she is more sensitive. She often climaxes again and I don't feel so bad if I don't last very long!

northernjon · 29/01/2007 08:18

A few years ago my wife tole me that she had always faked it, and I have to say I was pretty devestated, so no, just say "no thanks" please.

Original poster

Spidermama · 29/01/2007 12:28

Awww NJ. She perhaps needn't have told you. I think it-'s more her loss than yours though.

OP posts:

choosyfloosy · 29/01/2007 12:36

i've only faked once and i wouldn't be surprised if my bf at the time could tell - i was 'putting on a show' on my own, so felt it wasn't a betrayal if i faked to myself, IYSWIM!

it does say something about me though that it's darn hard for me to get anywhere even with my own well-tried technique, if someone else is watching. No wonder it's the only way I can get anywhere at all.

I'm noisy, though, so i think some people have thought I was faking when I was just enjoying myself. They look confused when they say 'bet that knocked your socks off' and I have to say yes, but not those specific socks.

MichaelDadOfTom · 05/02/2007 10:07

Have been with GF for a little over 4 years now. About 2 years in we had quite an active sex life (at least every other day) and as far as I was aware she would climax everytime.

Then one day out of the blue we were talking about sex and I asked her if she had ever faked it. I knew she had to have at least once during the 2 years we had been together, but was suprised abd relived to hear that she faked it quite often (about 40-50% of the time). I was gutted for a while. It wasnt the faking it that bothered me I would rather her say 'no I didnt', theres always more than one way to skin a cat (pardonthe euphisim)

Anyway that aside we decided to be more honest and say if we did not climax or were not in the mood and it has been much better since. Infact GF became DW last saturday and we have tom our eldest (10mths) and baby 2 on the way at the end of may.

I would always say just be honest with eachother and guys be honest/realistic. She may say she always does but if you have sex every day (or sometimes more) then the odds are that at somepoint she has faked, especially if you have been together for a long time. She doesnt do it to hurt your ego its becuase she loves you really. And also guys fake too. Hense the relief when she admited that she had faked it. I did'nt feel as guilty although I admit guy fake it alot less.

LieselVentouse · 05/02/2007 11:03

I can feel a Meg Ryan coming on

MichaelDadOfTom · 05/02/2007 11:45

Whats a meg ryan?

Pardon me if its a stupid question with an obvious answer

jabberwocky · 05/02/2007 11:49

She did a fabulous fake while sitting in a NY deli in When Harry Met Sally.

jabberwocky · 05/02/2007 11:50

Guys fake too ?????????

giraffeski · 05/02/2007 11:55

Message withdrawn

LieselVentouse · 05/02/2007 12:02

They get some watered down yoghurt............

jabberwocky · 05/02/2007 12:04

MichaelDad, you can't leave us hanging like this Do tell!

MichaelDadOfTom · 05/02/2007 12:14

Ahhhh I see. Thaught it was something like that. lol

When I say guys fake it. Possible not in the same sense. Guys are like machines as in virtually 100% of the time the man will ejaculate but will not necessarily have a full blown orgasim.

Guys say it was a lot better than it actually was to make the girl feel better.

MichaelDadOfTom · 05/02/2007 12:15

sorry about the delay in posting my wireless card is playing up and i keep loosing the connectoi

northernjon · 05/02/2007 22:26

spider, thank you - I think I'd rather have had a convenient lie, tbh, but it's pretty academic these days anyway.

That's wrong, isn't it, wishing she hadn't told me?

Pann · 07/02/2007 15:30

Some men even fake it when they are on their own. Really pathetic.

NotQuiteCockney · 09/02/2007 06:49

Some men do just entirely fake it. Well, I had a friend who did sometimes, anyway. He had a very hard time reaching orgasm, and would sometimes decide it wasn't worth the hassle, but didn't want to offend his partner, so he would pretend to come. He always used condoms, so faking it was risibly easy for him.

Pann · 09/02/2007 18:43

Am also querying the possibility that we men can use the penis AND the brain at the same time......

nah.

thetoothfairy · 06/10/2007 20:00

have just found this thread. I have never faked it, but my problem is that for the first few times with someone new, they may be fantastic but I am simply not relaxed enough to climax. And it all seems too difficult to explain, unless I explain first which I haven't done because it would tend to put the dampeners on it then anyway!

Very envious of all those of you who manage it first time with new partner . Help!

thetoothfairy · 07/10/2007 19:09

bump. your thoughts please????

Gobbledispook · 07/10/2007 19:11

Why fake it? What's the point?

I've understood it really and I've never bothered to fake it. If someone ain't cutting it, they might as well know

Gobbledispook · 07/10/2007 19:11

'I've never understood it'

ashadasher · 08/10/2007 11:35

my experiences are severely limited, but FWIW...

with my first i wouldnt have known how to fake it if i wanted to.

with my second i didnt need to fake it.

and with my third (DH) i dont need to either but i dont think he would notice either way

whiskeyandbeer · 08/10/2007 15:49

nah, i've faked it on occassion before so wouldn't bother me too much if she did from time to time.

contentiouscat · 08/10/2007 15:53

Never needed to (am I in the minority?)

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