SEX...come on guys-how often do you expect/get it?

[MusicLover]

Sorry to invade the mens room, but think I need advise from a male point of view, & women if they want to add....

We average 2/3 times a week, but that doesn't seem to be enough for my dh. He doesnt say so-he's just moody about it, which infuriates me.
Although we have a great sex life, sometimes I just feel pressured which ends up putting me off. To be honest I dont think any guys will understand this but Im sure plenty of women will.

He sends me texts throughout the day-asking if Im up for it? Just recently I told him Id prefer it if he were more spontanious & wished he let me initiate it sometimes. It worked well for a while, but like most women I know I could go a week without sex & not be too bothered, but my dh is. He watches porn on the pc but only when Im at work in the evening. It bothered me at first, but I just sort of got used to it & put it to the back of my mind, & admit to watching it on my own too.
He was away last week for few days & the first thing on his mind is sex! We had sex on that night, then 2 nights later (which I initiated), then the following night he send me a video on my mobile phone of his willy with the message saying "do you want some of this sexy" I acnowledged it as a laugh because I really wasnt in the mood for it, but he spent the rest of the night with a face on him.
So Im feeling rather tedious & pressured about the whole "sex thing" now.

But to be honest we are a really loving couple who have been together for few yrs with 2 kids aged 9 & 3. We are very kissy, touchy, feely people.

Am I overreacting or is he asking to much of me.

[clumsymum]

Well I know you want the blokes to respond here, so maybe my comment isn't welcome but ...

If dh sent me a picture of his willy, I would either rofl, or be pretty disgusted (depends on my mood when I received it). It certainly wouldn't put me in the mood for Rumpy Pumpy.

I also think that sending it may be a contravention of some law, sending obscene images across a public network.

yeurgggghhh

[MusicLover]

i appreciate any advise from male/female.

He actually blutoothed me the picture, does that make a differece?
I knew he wanted more sex that night & thats why I never resonded by saying "oh yes please babe" but I did laugh about it, but he took it as rejection

[imnotamouse]

i least he sent it to you.i've just found a picture of my husband's willy and it wasn't intended for me! (will be posting on this subject shortly!)

[MusicLover]

oh my god INAMouse!
How do you know it wasnt for you?

[Charleesunnysunsun]

I don't think it's uncommon to only have sex 2/3 times a week at all! DP would be chuffed with that much sex!

I know he would like it more and possibly at different times of the day and in different places but i think he has just got used to the fact that it aint going to happen.

I tell him it takes 2 people to have sex and if i one of them and i don;t fancy it then im simply not doing it as it wouldn't be enjoyable for me or him if my heart wasn't in it.

Your not over reacting i find 'planned sex' most annoying at times and much prefer a bit of spontanious heat of the moment passion. I had one partner who whined and moaned if i said no for ages and it was such a turn off.

I think that men must exagerate to there friends about how much they have, if your dh's mates do this then maybe he thinks its normal to have tons of sex? But i know my dp gets a face like a smaked arse when he suggests it and i say no so i think that's pretty normal. I would just ignore him he's lucky he's getting what he does.

[expatinscotland]

I went out w/a guy who watched porn a lot.

He thought all women should be 'up for it' all the time. Every day.

I dumped him.

[shazronnieWEARINGSHOES]

We do it about once a week! I agree with Charley - my Dh would love 2 / 3 times!!

[clumsymum]

Well dh is away Mon-Fri, so when he comes home there does seem this sort of pressure to 'do it' on a Friday night.

So more often than not we don't

[DontTellTheWife]

Are you being unreasonable?
No probably not, modern life is knackering, fitting everything into the day with two kids is hard enough without trying to get a quality shag in aswell.

Having said that though the main problem is the difference between men & women. You work on a 28 day cycle and we work on a 24 hour one. It's just the way nature made us "shoot, move on, shoot again". If you asked your husband every morning if he fancied a quick shag he'd say yes, and he'd mean it too (maybe not the best sex of your life.. but he'd be up for it).
We're basically incompatible which is why we end up finding common ground - blokes would like 7 times a week, women 1 or maybe 2.

So is 2-3 times a week enough probably not no.. but currently we average once a month so I'd be chuffed to nuts with that.

[Murphee]

Yet another female invader - my husband only wanted sex twice a year - to me that is unreasonable, now we are getting divorced. Apparently his last two relationships floundered for the same reason. Unusual, no?

[BudaBabe]

My dh hasn't wanted sex for teh last 11 years! You are all lucky!

[DontTellTheWife]

I'm curious..
Please be honest ladies.
How many times a week would you like to do it?

[expatinscotland]

During ovulation? Every day.

Other times of the month - excluding my period, cuz I really don't fancy it then and nor does he - every other day.

[desperateSCOUSEwife]

I would like to do it everday if i could

in reality it is once or twice a week

[lightworking]

2/3 times a week!!!! I'm lucky to get 2/3 times a year - practically have to threaten DH with divorce!!! Always says "we must do this more often" after but never does. Am seriously thinking of taking a lover!!

[Flamesparrow]

Was it you who was wanting to jump everyone in sight for the last few weeks expat?

I seem to have an odd DH (and have known this for years)... he has a low sex drive and never seems all that bothered how long a gap we have (and no... he's not gay/having an affair/watching porn obsessively).

For me, once a week would be a bonus, a few times a week would be good, if my body would co-operate, but DS in our room and not slept through in 7 months... I tend to want sleep more than sex

[Flamesparrow]

LW - We do the "must do this more often" too!!

[expatinscotland]

Yes, Flame, that was me!

Ovulation just seems to kick it into high gear.

light, I have to say, if I were you, I'd probably consider having a lover. A fantasy one at the least.

[Mascaraohara]

I am a woman and to answer your question

1. I expect it whenever I want it
2. I get it whenever I want it

[Flamesparrow]

Ovulation does it for me too... poor DH didn't know what hit him when I came off the pill. After 3 days I remember him asking me to please let him sleep because he was starting a new job the next day (my arguement of "You'll be nice and relaxed then" didn't wash ) - he was soooo relieved that I got pregnant the first month!!

[poppiesinaline]

My DH would be chuffed with 3 times a week. He complains about the lack of sex but as i say to him he has to be physically here for that to happen, (works very long hours) , Know what you mean about the 'face like a smacked arse' look.

Dontellthewife - in answer to your question - during ovulation - at least twice a day , the rest of the month - never.

[Loshad]

dontellthe wife - like others on here, loads for the 10 days around ovualtion. Never used to mind the rest of the time but as I get older and my periods worse i really don't want sex then. Dh varies wildly from wanting it 2/3 x a day to not wanting it for a week at a time - he's currently grumpy because i made a joke about him not finishing the "job" twice in a row - that's his look out.

[DontTellTheWife]

Around ovulation time it looks like us boys & girls are as compatible as can be. Outside of that is where the compromise starts.
We try to be understanding..
But we're horny us blokes