Saw this...

[SigmundFraude]

And thought I'd share it, as it's so thought provoking:

From the video, he isn't actually a 'single dad'. He is a non-resident parent, with weekend access. And we don't know why this situation came about.

I'm an NRP. I think this is rather self pitying and pathetic actually. It screams "Me me me".

Well, I guess, it's a little tomaytoes/tomartoes, but yes, non resident parent then, if you like. No we don't know how this situation came about, but I wasn't analysing it. I simply found it very moving .

And this is Dadsnet, so maybe thinking about Dads is a good thing now and again.

I find it really disrespectfully to call yourself a 'single parent' if you look after your kids for 1 weekend a fortnight. But I also am not too keen on nrp as I am not sure how much parenting they do?

However it is interesting to see how it can affect that nrp and the things that keep them going in between. I don't think it is relevant to the piece why he isn't more involved. The point is how that affects him

Yes, I thought so too. I'm a NRP, and love it when dd is here, as she does - me and her mum work hard to keep dd happy. Talk about it all the time. This chap is pretty much a whiner about himself.

Do you think so Uri? You have a friend in Pan then!

This is quite interesting actually, both of my sisters refer to each other as single parents, I didn't realise the terminology had changed, or at least, I didn't realise that saying 'single parent' was frowned upon. Because when it's your time on your own, you are the only parent taking care of the kids.

I want to clarify before I offend. The amount of parenting done is because, how can you in that amount of time? How can they be at the forefront of your mind when you are responsible for such a short period of time. I am sure some manage it, but that hasn't been my experience

'I'm a NRP, and love it when dd is here, as she does - me and her mum work hard to keep dd happy. Talk about it all the time.'

It's great that you and your ex work hard to keep your dd happy. Does that mean though, that others who don't manage to achieve the same harmony that you have, haven't tried hard?

True Pippa , I'd never call myself a single dad, I dont have the demands day-to-day that her mum does. We talk just about daily, and we don't stick to our mutually agreed routines, we negotiate and compromise. And dd knows she can't play us off, we're too tight for that.

He doesn't come across as a "Whiner" at all, he comes across as someone who genuinely misses his children.

So sorry to hear this Daddyofone, I'm really sorry you're upset. You have to hold on to the knowledge that not everyone coldly questions your situation, they really don't. I don't. It must be really difficult to let go of your child, I can't imagine it. The video is a lot of men's (and some women's) reality, I find the 'well he must have done something, what does he know' line really depressing.

I might start my own forum, where 'analysis' and cynicism is smashed by the ban hammer!

Daddyofone

You'll hear no criticism of your post and intentions from me. My DH wasn't able to have residence permanently for his three children even though he should have done. He sees them all the time as we refused a formal arrangement and said they could come here whenever they wanted to, not whenever their Mother wanted them to. They were all approaching teens and in their teens so they had the freedom to do just that.

I saw his pain and the way society does not acknowledge this in the same way.

My sympathies for you. As your child gets older, things will hopefully change as long as you hang in there and always remain a constant in their life for you and

Bullshit Ozzie "access" as opposed to "contact" and he doesn't even look old enough to have a job let alone kids old enough to fight over.

An "oooh and oh so nice" film in it's way but its aside from anyone's reality. So it's pointless and does nothing for anyone in the long run.

You do realise this is a film for Tropfest don't you?

He might not even have kids.

On the other hand, I do know men who feel like this :(

Yes the director is the actor who doesn't appear to actually have any children.
I think it's the mawdling aspect that puts me off. Taking photos for 8 months suggests he really needs to move on. And half-eaten plates of food with cups that are still warm harks of a war zone evacuation.

The only people I consider single parents are those who care for the children 100% of the time and the other parent is not interested and won't do their share of childcare.

In my books you're not a single parent if you're preventing the children spending time with the other parent whilst telling everyone that you're the only one who does anything.